Let Life Dissolve into the Fa
Greetings Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
I have been practicing Falun Dafa for over ten years. Over these years, with Master's kind protection, I began to realize both the difficulty and glory of cultivation practice. I also experienced some shocking moments and happiness when my life dissolved into the Fa. During this Fall harvest season, I felt that I gained a lot from cultivation practice. I would like to share my experience regarding how I obtained the Fa, how I studied the Fa, and the process I went through in validating the Fa.
I. An Amazing Scene Before I Obtained the Fa
In the Spring of 1997, my six-year old son and I had both a dream about a shining golden Buddha Maitreya photo quickly spinning around in the room. After getting up in the morning, my son said, "Mom, I saw Buddha Maitreya in my dream last night!" Because it was what I saw in my dream, I didn't think too much and told my family members that I also dreamed the same thing. Now I realize that in order to save sentient beings, our compassionate Teacher was exhausting his energies to give us hints, since we were lost in the secular world.
To tell the truth, I was numb to reality, my helpless condition blocked my view and my "not paying attention" prevented me from obtaining the Fa for quite some time. I began to wake up after repeatedly reading the book Zhuan Falun. Finding this book was a chance occasion that opened the door that had been closed for a long time. "Thank you, Master!" This is a voice from the origin of my life, passing through time and space. I finally obtained the Fa! At first, I was like a hungry child who had not seen bread for a long time. I spent all my spare time studying the Fa. I had a small business in a market. In such a noisy environment, I felt as if nobody was around while I was reading the Fa. I felt that Master held my hand and led me into a divine palace. The most astonishing thing was that peaceful and calm mindset. I felt that Dafa cleansed my entire body and soul. Master has prepared the entire foundation for my return to my true self.
II. Assimilating into Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, Validating Dafa
I spent time reading the Fa every day. The boundless Dafa principles influenced me and I felt that I had a new life. I had more experience in the process of assimilating to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in real life. There is a saying that nine out of ten merchants cheat. It is quite common to see cases like shopkeepers shorting customers in weighing goods. Master's Fa principle of gain and loss constantly reminded me to strictly require myself to do things well. One evening during rush hour, many people were shopping in the market, and an older man in his sixties bought something from me and then left. Ten minutes later he came back. He was very angry and cursed while walking towards my stand, "I bought three Jin [1 jin is about 1.1 pounds] and you only gave me 2.6 Jin. I will overturn your stand....." I remembered clearly that I gave him 3 Jin and was not short a bit. I said, "It might be that something dropped out of your basket." He became even angrier. In fact, I saw that his basket was not broken, so the items he bought from me could not have fallen out. Soon, many people had gathered near my stand and everyone was staring at me, some with doubt, some with curiosity, and some with anger. I told myself, "I am a practitioner. I should not get angry." Master's principle of forbearance helped me. With a smile on my face, I weighed his items again. It was exactly three Jin, no more and no less. I asked the neighboring peddler to weigh them on his scale, and he got the same result. The old man said in anger, "I will go to another place to weigh these items. If I find out that it really weighs three Jin, I will come back and apologize to you." Before the old man could apologize, I told him, "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance taught me how to become a good person." Facing the old man's unreasonable scolding and the blaming eyes of those on-lookers, I wanted to let them know, "It is really good to practice Dafa!"
III. Ascending in Cooperation
In the past few years' cultivation practice, at first I delivered truth-clarification materials to over a dozen fellow practitioners. I thought to myself that not only should I deliver these materials, but I also wanted to deliver the materials to their hearts. We communicated diligently and shared our understandings. We improved in Dafa, and every one of us focused on doing the three things well. We kindly reminded each other and whole-heartedly communicated, and we truly believed Master's words,
"...we are cultivators, people whose bodies are in the secular world but whose minds are beyond it." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2005 Manhattan International Fa Conference")
We seldom had any separations or barriers. If there was any human mentality, the Fa quickly dissolved it. The establishment of our entire county's group Fa study allowed us to benefit from studying the Fa and do it well. When conditions matured, with the help of other fellow practitioners, I set up a truth-clarification materials production center at my home. I subsequently took care of downloading, printing, and delivering materials including new articles from Master and "Minghui Weekly" for over one hundred people. However, from talking with those fellow practitioners, I noticed there were some shortcomings as a whole body. First, some did not spend much time in Fa study and did not have a clear understanding of Fa principles. The key issue was that we did not set up the group Fa study environment as per Master's requirements. Several of us communicated with each other and exchanged our opinions, and we thought we should first let those fellow practitioners who had that advantage and security concerns, organize and participate in some small Fa study groups.
We set up one small Fa study group after another. With the help of other practitioners, some of those who had given up the practice came back to practice again. Then there was an issue of coordination. At that time I rarely contacted my fellow practitioners, except those who were living nearby. I noticed that fellow practitioner A, to whom I had delivered materials, had to take care of her son and daughter's household chores and couldn't study the Fa for up to several days. In fact, people have so many things to worry about and take care of. How can one calm down if one never has the time to sit down and study the Fa? However, every time one of Master's new articles was published, she was the one who delivered it to other people. She was very enthusiastic. She went through all these years with everyone's intentional or unintentional reliance on her, waiting for her, and numbness. Master said,
"One's individual improvement is still first and foremost." ("Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference")
How can you practice cultivation if you cannot study the Fa? Where are we going to cultivate to if we don't have the Fa as our guide? It will delay our own cultivation and also delay the whole body. After talking with her, when working on some coordination jobs, just as what other practitioners said, I felt that she was not doing things the right way. At first, I chose to avoid her. I visited another practitioner who knew her, and that practitioner told me, "It isn't that she wasn't listening to me. It was that what I said couldn't touch her distorted notion."
That night I had a dream about a wide river extending from east to west. We were standing on the north bank of the river. The river was divided from South and North. On my side, I could see clear water washing against the river bank. However, on my fellow practitioner's side, there was a thick layer of ice. I understood that Master was trying to tell me not to avoid her. Was it that water will melt the ice? I suddenly understood that Master wanted me to use the opportunity of coordinating the environment to improve myself. Later, I talked with practitioner A and we decided to divide these one hundred people into several small groups. We asked those diligent fellow practitioners who had a clear understanding of Fa principles and enthusiasm to help with the coordination. Thus, fellow practitioner A would have fewer people to coordinate and more time for Fa study. During that process, I met young fellow practitioner B. She told me that several years ago she wanted to help with the coordination when she saw our region was lacking unity. At that time, I told her that we should all work together if she wanted to. The coordination of the whole body was not a one or two-practitioner project. It needs participation and harmonization by more fellow practitioners. Later, she took care of a group of nearly twenty people. We agreed to set a time to meet with each other, exchange our understandings and share experiences from other Fa study groups, and we reminded each other of our shortcomings so we could improve together. Later, we communicated in a larger group. Practitioner B was invited to the large group study, but always found an excuse not to come. Except for her group, the small Fa study groups seemed to steadily improve. At our third sharing meeting, practitioner B gave me a lesson. Not only did she not attend our larger group exchange meeting, she also encouraged other practitioners not to come. When it was time for the large group sharing, of the seven people from her group, only four came. At that time, my human mentality kept bothering me and I felt very uneasy. It seemed to be telling me "Did she sabotage my work?" I quickly realized that my attachment to fame and self-esteem were surfacing. I thought to myself, "Isn't anything a cultivation opportunity for me? Isn't whatever we do recorded in other dimensions? Whether she comes or not, isn't that a cultivation process? Where was my loophole in this coordination job? I know that Master is looking after each and every one of us. She has such a great wish to do the coordination work. Why?"
In fact, cultivation is a serious matter. Saying is one thing, doing is another. Accomplishing our wishes is still another thing. I was very talkative when speaking about Fa principles, but I only persuaded a few people to withdraw from the CCP-related organizations. I delivered only a few truth-clarification materials each month, and I found that I tended to ask other practitioners to cultivate themselves when communicating with them. How could I set up my own mighty virtue in cultivating myself? Fellow practitioners' conditions constantly reminded me that besides cultivating myself well, I also needed to help other practitioners improve together, and that is what Master wants to see. Regarding these matters, there is no definite right or wrong approach, there only exists different cultivation levels and realms. After I realized that, I began viewing myself from others' perspective. That obsession with beauty and attachment to self-esteem disappeared. I was instead filled with understanding for my fellow practitioners. Forbearance, which is surrounded by boundless law principles, is hard to describe, but I could feel it. I think that only those genuine fellow practitioners who experienced true cultivation could understand that "cultivation" is involved in the entire process. In our daily lives, we need to constantly remind ourselves to cultivate our minds and also gradually reach the goal that the Fa requires of us at different levels. However, not every test and tribulation is easy to pass. The cultivation process of painful experiences while eliminating those attachments often made me waver between the law principles and human mentalities.
During that time, with the improvement of our local practitioners in mind, I wanted to talk to the former coordinator. However, before I started talking, she told me what other fellow practitioners had told her about me, "Someone said you wanted to become a leader. Someone said you had intentions when doing things, and people couldn't understand your accent, etc." To tell the truth, at that time my family members were very cooperative. I had almost become a full-time practitioner at home. At that time, I always felt that I didn't have enough time. I often thought about the facts that Master began Fa teaching in 1992 and I obtained the Fa in 1997, and when I first obtained the Fa, I wasted a lot of time by not being diligent enough. After I studied the Fa over and over, I always felt I wasn't worthy of Master's benevolent salvation. I grasped my time every day in Fa study, doing the exercises, preparing truth-clarification materials, and doing some coordination jobs. I also submitted some of my experience sharing articles to the Minghui/Clearwisdom website, and each day I focused on doing the three things well. I thought to myself, not only should I cultivate myself well, I should also help awaken fellow practitioners around me so we can improve together. At that time, I was very confident and I could also feel Master giving me boundless wisdom and capabilities. I felt that I lived a very fulfilled life every day. I could feel the a profound happiness when I was dissolved into the Fa. I knew that I should look inward when communicating with other fellow practitioners and that I should eliminate those parts that were not in accordance with the Fa.
After hearing that fellow practitioners' words, I thought about barriers and conflicts in coordination jobs, conflicts, and collisions between human mentalities. I knew that a fellow practitioner had spread some rumors among other practitioners about me behind my back. At that time, I was only thinking about those rumors, and I thought that only when that practitioner improved in her Fa understanding would those rumors die out on their own. Otherwise, there would be other types of rumors. But bad human mentalities and thoughts kept coming up in my mind, such as, "What is the point of me running back and forth in coordinating this? Wasn't I doing the three things? Should I still be considered a practitioner if I did not even have the intention of doing the three things well?" In front of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, my attachments of grudges, grievances, fame, and feelings of unfairness were totally exposed.
I had various thoughts such as "Go talk to her and get an explanation." "No. Master once said, '...the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments." (Zhuan Falun)' "Those rumors would have a very bad effect among other fellow practitioners." "You should not go to talk to her. This is a unique situation. You shouldn't let the old forces find an excuse to separate you from your fellow practitioners." The fake "me" with a distorted mindset and the true "me" who had dissolved into the Fa fought with each other. When Master's loss and gain principle once again appeared in my mind, that fake "me" with acquired notions began to melt into the boundless law principles. I came to realize that if nobody created any conflicts for me, and nobody helped me by providing such a cultivation environment, those human mentalities and distorted notions would never be exposed. That was the fourth gain for me. For a life that needs to be entirely assimilated into Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, the boundless Dafa's mighty power is really like a grain of sawdust falling into a furnace of molten steel. I stopped feeling resentment. The peacefulness coming from the Fa embraced me and I sincerely expressed my feelings--Master, thank you for your hard work! Thank you, fellow practitioners. Later, I talked to that practitioner and explained to her about some misunderstandings between us. That fellow practitioner said, "What have I done? If this happened to ordinary people, they might have already fought with each other." I calmly said, "That will not happen to us because we are practitioners."
During the past few years' cultivation practice, Master has been forbearing and given me a lot, some which I know about but some I may not know. I don't have any up-and-down cultivation stories. I have been steadily following my cultivation path arranged by Master. The key to my cultivation practice is constantly reading the Fa and looking inward. Whenever I encountered so-called conflicts and difficulties, I first asked myself, "Why did this happen? What is Master trying to tell to me to cultivate?" Or, when a problem occurred, I would keep a practitioner's mindset and view things from the Fa. I would not try to avoid any opportunity to help me improve. Finally, I didn't keep bothering myself with the same question. No matter what happened, I reminded myself to do the three things well. In fact, the entire cultivation process is one in which our lives are improved and upgraded. During this process, if we can let go of our self-esteem, and allow ourselves to dissolve into the Fa in every moment of our life, then that feeling of a human being becoming an integral part of nature is truly enjoyable.
IV. Everything Follows the Rule of Resolving any Situation Instantaneously and Finding my Own Way of Validating the Fa
In our cultivation practice, there are no role models, no shortcuts, and no following the crowd. When the persecution first started, I didn't receive many truth-clarification materials. I went with a fellow practitioner to the store to make copies. Later, the store owner no longer allowed us to make copies because of threats from the CCP. Then I began making copies by hand-writing the material. I prepared some home-made glue and posted them. When I saw people standing there reading the truth-clarification materials I posted, I felt thankful for Master's great kindness towards those sentient beings. Later, fellow practitioners from other places brought me some sample truth-clarification materials, including paper, posters, and ink, and I began my first step in seriously making truth-clarification materials.
In fact, from the very beginning when we started the practice, Master installed many mechanisms inside and outside of our bodies. Everything in our cultivation follows specific ways of thinking or doing things and then manifests in doing the three things. No matter what we are doing, and no matter how we do it, the most important thing is how much we put ourselves into it. As long as we do it, we will have as much wisdom as we need. Everything is in there and we can really find what we need.
"However strong the righteous thoughts are, that's how great the power is." ("Also In A Few Words" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I don't have too many constraints in doing the three things. No matter when, and no matter where I go, I do everything as a Dafa practitioner should. I know that my motivation for everything I do comes from Master's teachings. I understand that the meaning of life is to assimilate to the Fa. Each process of cultivation practice is to help my life assimilate to the Fa in every word and every thought, and constantly put the universal principles of "Truthfulness-Compassion- Forbearance" into practice.
Whenever I think about Master's greatest compassion, the boundless Dafa principles, and the return to the origin of life, I feel speechless looking at Master's portrait. Sometime my mouth is gaping open and I can't think of what to say. I just say, "Hi Master!" I feel that only when I constantly keep a clear mind in understanding the Fa, eliminate my attachments, grasp the time to save more people, walk well on the final steps in following Master in the great Fa rectification road, will I be worthy of Master's compassionate salvation.