Striving Forward Without Pause
(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
Today I'd like to take this sacred opportunity to report how I changed from an ill person into a Fa- rectification period Dafa disciple.
Blessed to Obtain the Fa
In 1996 my younger son passed away at the tender age of 22. Such a heavy blow rendered life meaningless to me. I was also bothered by numerous ailments and felt life was bitter beyond words. For a very long time I couldn't stop crying and just hoped to die with my son. My husband had to quit his job and took turns with my older son taking care of me.
During the afternoon of September 4, 1996, I vaguely felt there was something good waiting for me. It was a nice day, so I took my granddaughter out for a walk. When we got to the village kindergarten, I saw a teacher attentively reading a book. I walked up to her asking, "What's is the book you are reading?" She smiled at me, Zhuan Falun. I took the book for a look and saw Master's photo smiling at me, and His eyes seemed to be moving. I immediately said, "This portrait is really good." At that moment I felt all cells in my body moving around. I told the teacher I wanted to learn as well. She said, "On Sunday someone from the county will come here to play a lecture video. How about you joining us then?"
I couldn't wait for Sunday to come. On September 9, 1996 I was fortunate enough to watch Master's lecture videos. After we were done, I felt my stomach bloating and was told it was a good thing. Before I left, I got a copy of Zhuan Falun and Zhuan Falun (Volume Two) and returned home happily.
When I opened the book Zhuan Falun I saw this passage,
"Some people's children have died, but they can't let go of them and talk about how wonderful they were, or they talk about how great their mothers were, but they've died. These people grieve their hearts out as if they want to follow their deceased for the rest of their lives. Why don't you think about it: aren't they doing this to wear you down? They do this to keep you from living a comfortable life." (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I said to myself, "Isn't Master talking about me?" I was eager to finish reading the book. In the past I had difficulty falling asleep. However, that night I slept soundly. The next morning I felt energetic and light. My illnesses disappeared in just one night. I truly witnessed the power of Dafa.
From then on I lived a new life. Every night I went to my fellow villagers' homes to tell them the wonders of Dafa. Witnessing the tremendous change in me my husband was extremely pleased, and he told everyone he met that Dafa has saved his family. He supported my Fa-promoting activities wholeheartedly. Knowing that I was afraid of the dark before cultivation, he would wait for me on the street every time I went out to promote the Fa at night. No matter how late I came back, he never complained. My son got me a VCD player to show Master's lecture videos. My whole family was immersed in the joy of obtaining the Fa.
Creating a Good Cultivation Environment
In July 1999 the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) launched its persecution of Falun Gong. Since then, I have gone to Beijing five times to appeal for Falun Gong. When I decided to go in July 2000, my family didn't have any money, and it was the busy harvest season. Without any hesitation, my husband sold over 550 pounds of wheat to get travel money for me. Before my departure, my husband held our granddaughter and encouraged me to do well and return home early. After I left for Beijing, the local police and government officials came to harass my husband many times. They threatened him saying, "We'll beat your wife to death once we find her in Beijing." My husband replied sternly, "I'll see who dares to touch her! You can't tell good from bad! She got a second life from Dafa. She is a good person. Have you ever visited her once when she was sick? She is free of illness after her practice and doesn't have to spend a penny on medical care. You also have your wives, parents, siblings and children. You should think for yourself and come to know what Dafa really is!"
My husband often accompanied me to go out and distribute truth clarification materials. We could post several hundred flyers in just one night. Every time I was arrested, my husband would carry our granddaughter on his back and lead our son and daughter-in-law to the police station, requesting my release. As a result, I was able to return home shortly after my arrests. Once when the dawn just broke, four policemen came to my house. Two of them held my husband tight while the other two dragged me to their van. After I was pushed into the van, the two policemen holding my husband let go of their grip and ran to the van. However, even before the van was able to take off, my husband grabbed a pitchfork and smashed it into the van.
My husband went to the market several times to buy red silk cloth. He cut it into pieces to make banners on which he wrote, "Falun Dafa is good," "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good," "Clear the Name of Dafa's Master," and "The Tiananmen Self-immolation Incident was Staged." He then hung them everywhere. Each time the police and local officials came to harass us, he fearlessly resisted their persecution and exposed their evil deeds to villagers. As a result, they no longer dared to casually come to our home.
Removing My Fear
One rainy night in March 1998 I went to another village to show Master's lecture videos. When I had finished it was already very late and the rain was still falling. One of the village practitioners had her husband walk me and my bike to the entrance of the village. After riding about 100 meters, I came across an apparition, where two objects, one black and one white, were standing nearby. I couldn't tell what the two objects were. I was so scared that I was soaked with sweat and my hair stood up. When I turned around, the practitioner' husband was already out of sight. Before my cultivation, I was a very cowardly person. Now that deep in the night I encountered two unknown objects, I really didn't know what to do. On the east side of the road was a deep ditch, and further away was a mountain at the foot of which was a cemetery. I shouted, "Master help me!" Then I pushed my bike forward, passing the black and white objects. Several hundreds meters away was a small village. I thought to myself that I would ask for help from whoever had their lights on in their house. However, after I got to the village, no lights were on. I was so frightened that I didn't know what to do. If I turned back, the black and white objects were awaiting me. If I kept going, I'd reach the cemetery. If I headed north, there was a temple. If I went east, I would run into a reservoir. I was really scared and anxious.
Just when I was in despair, a passage of Master's Fa suddenly popped up in my mind,
"The attachments you can't let go of around ordinary people all have to be let go. All your attachments, as long as you have them, all have to be worn down in different settings. You will stumble, and from that grasp the truth. That's how you cultivate." (Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I suddenly realized that compassionate Master was helping me get rid of my fear. Gradually my fear subsided and the once dark roads turned brighter. I hopped onto my bike and rushed home.
Relinquishing fear is no easy task and takes several attempts. One night in early 1999, I again went to a neighboring village to show Master's lecture videos. After I was done and on my way home, my flashlight stopped working not long after I biked out of the village. I put in a backup battery, but it didn't help. I knew there was a cemetery ahead, and I began to feel frightened. I turned around and rode back to that village. There was a downward slope, and a force pushed me and my bike down the slope. Both the bike and I landed on a pile of rocks. I yelled, "Master help me!" Then I was bounced toward a drainage ditch.
I realized this incident was for me to get rid of my fear, but I still didn't dare to go forward. I hesitated for a long while before I walked my bike to another practitioner' home in that village. She got me another flashlight, and I left. However, as soon as I arrived at the same place where I had a problem with my own flashlight, this new flashlight stopped working too. I calmed down to look within. I took a fall today because I didn't completely get rid of my fear. I then said to Master, "Master, you've made so many efforts to help me get rid of my fear. I don't recognize that fear. That's not me." Then I felt myself becoming very tall, and all cells within me were moving around. I knew Master was right there by my side, and I completely relinquished my fear. I checked my bike, and everything was fine. When I returned home, my husband found both flashlights worked just fine. From then on I never feared anything, be it distributing materials or going to Beijing to appeal.
Clarifying the Truth and Assisting Master with Fa-rectification
One day in March 2001 two security officers along with another village official came to my home saying, "The Village Party secretary wants to have a conversation with you, and it will take only 30 minutes." The day before, the Party secretary and police station chief had already come to ask me if I would still continue my cultivation. I refused to talk to them, and they left defeated. Now they wanted to use another trick, so I refused. But my husband and my daughter-in-law said, "Go talk to him. We have done nothing wrong. You can go clarify the facts to them." So I went to the village office. When I had just said a few words, more than a dozen people from the town government, police station and judicial department arrived to abduct me. I refused to cooperate. My pants were torn open and the buttons on my coat were torn off.
They took me to a brainwashing center. More than 20 people came to instill me with CCP lies, but I just kept telling them the truth about Falun Dafa and the persecution. I went on a hunger strike to protest how I was being treated. A security head named Shao brought me food and I asked, "Why should I eat your food here? I have my own food at home, but you don't allow me to go home and eat. What's wrong with me being a good person? You've persecuted me numerous times. Keep in mind that good and evil will receive their due retribution." The tenth afternoon of my detention my older son came to the brainwashing center to visit me. He cried when he saw me. I asked him not to cry and told him that I would be able to walk out of detention. The next day around 11:00 am, nobody followed me as usual when I went to use the restroom. The security head was making a phone call, and three other people were reading magazines. With Master's protection I came downstairs without any trouble and walked out of the brainwashing center.
With help from many practitioners I stayed in the county capital and set up an information site there. I would go back home once every week. I would leave the information site in the evening, taking truth-clarification materials with me, to be given to practitioners in my own village. Sometimes I also brought extra materials to distribute in the two villages on my way home. Normally I could get home around 3:00 am.
Establishing a Family Information Site
It was not very convenient to get truth clarification materials from the county capital and figured it was not a long-term solution. If practitioners in the county capital could set up information sites, why couldn't we in the rural areas? We must walk our own way in keeping pace with the Fa rectification process. With practitioners' help I overcame difficulties and set up an information site in my own home.
I burned CDs containing such info and distributed them to neighboring villages. The following day my older middle-school aged granddaughter told me that her classmates all received CDs in their homes. Her classmates soon learned the facts of the persecution.
Witnessing the great impact of truth clarification materials, practitioners in neighboring villages also wanted to set up their own information sites. I worked together with practitioners in the county capital and got them six copiers and printers and helped them establish their own information sites. They were very earnest in making materials and played a great role in offering sentient beings salvation.
The CCP intensified security checks everywhere during the Olympics. Everyone taking a bus was under the watch of security personnel. This posed a problem for us. We transported all the supplies and accessories needed to make materials on a bus. Therefore, it was crucial that these supplies were safe. This was not only important for the individual practitioners, but also for the information sites. I relied primarily on two things to maintain safety. First, I sent righteous thoughts to the supplies, the bus drivers and passengers, bus stations, buses, and security personnel. Second, I clarified the facts to everyone, including bus drivers, passengers and security personnel.
Once I bought a batch of toner cartridges and printing paper. I packed them in three little bags and two suitcases. My son took me to the bus station. As soon as I sat down on the bus, a security officer got in. She asked everyone to show their tickets. No one cooperated with her. Noticing my bags and suitcases, she asked the driver whose luggage it was. The driver and the ticket person paid no attention to her. I stood up and said, "Why are you checking here? They are mine. I am a farmer, and what I carry are just personal items. What qualifications do you have to check personal belongings? If I don't allow it, no one can check my stuff today." Another security officer to whom I had clarified the facts before got in the bus and said to me, "Ma'am, are you going home?" The first security officer saw this and got off the bus, defeated. I knew that Master would help me as long as I had righteous thoughts.
Validating the Fa with Righteous Thoughts and Actions
No matter where we are, we Dafa practitioners should always conduct ourselves with high standards and be considerate of others at all times. We should let the worldly people see the wonders of Dafa through our noble behavior.
The weather during this year's harvest season was mostly cloudy. Everyone wanted to catch a good day to harvest their wheat. However, in our village, we had only one harvesting truck, so we needed to take turns using it. One day it was my family's turn, and we were supposed to be the first one to use the truck that day. We were told the truck would arrive at 10:00 am. At 9:00 am my husband took our farming tools to the wheat field to wait for the truck. My brother and sister-in-law had their tractor ready to collect the harvested wheat. Then the village Party secretary came to tell us that the truck wouldn't come until 11:00 am, because his family and his brother's family needed to use the truck first. I told him that we could wait. When the truck finally came toward our wheat field, a person stopped it, requesting to load up his harvest wheat first. The truck driver couldn't pass this person, so he turned around. All other families were angry at this person. Some of them wanted to overturn his tractor. I stopped them. The truck driver's wife came to me to apologize, acknowledging my family was supposed to be the first one to use the truck today, but unfortunately we still didn't get our turn. I said, "No worries. It's fine if we to do it later. I don't think the Heavens would have me eat rotten wheat."
During the whole process I kept Master's teachings in mind and held myself to high standards. I didn't feel angry and treated everything with compassion. At that time, more than 40 families witnessed the scene and felt the noble character and forbearance of Dafa practitioners. They truly saw the wonders of Dafa and had high admiration for practitioners. Most of them had already learned the truth and had withdrawn from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. Later that day no one fought over the truck again, and everyone just awaited their turn.
We didn't finish harvesting until 5:00 pm. When we took the wheat to the drying place, other families saved room for us. I was quite moved. The weather forecast had predicted rain for that day, but there was no rain. The next day it was still clear, and we were able to dry our wheat.
Clarifying the Facts and Saving People
Dafa practitioners not only need to cultivate themselves, but also have the responsibility to offer sentient beings salvation. In addition to making truth clarification materials, I also persisted in distributing them as much as possible. There were a lot of vendors at our street fair, and I had spoken with almost everyone. Most of them had withdrawn from the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
When I went to the county to run errands, I usually had truth clarification materials with me. I would distribute the materials and clarify the facts wherever I went. I handed out the most materials at a mall filled with vendors selling clothes and shoes. Several vendors who had known the truth asked me for various kinds of materials to give to their families and friends.
Whenever I went to do farm work I also brought along truth clarification materials and hand them to anyone I met. If I didn't see anyone, I put some in people's bike baskets. People were happy to see these materials.
The village Party secretary used to be supportive of Dafa. When I promoted Dafa, he provided places for me and he was very respectful of me. After the persecution began, his wife and sister both stopped practicing. He was deceived by the CCP lies and cooperated with the evildoers to persecute me. He twice accompanied the local police to go to Beijing to find me. In March 2001, with his help, the police got me to a brainwashing center. In August 2001, he helped the evildoers again by sending me to a detention center and later to a labor camp.
I had hated him then and didn't want to talk to him at all. After a while I knew my attitude was wrong. Looking within, I realized that I couldn't suffocate the evil with evil. So, I often went to his home to clarify the facts. He and his wife both knew that I was considerate of everyone and well respected by fellow villagers. He realized his mistake and apologized to me. I told him that I would never hate him. His whole family quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. Whenever agents from the police station or town government came to arrest me, he would protect me. He also tried to follow higher standards and learn from practitioners. Now the Party secretary and his wife have begun reading Zhuan Falun and are determined to become cultivators as well.
The Fa rectification has come to the last stage, yet there are still many sentient beings to be rescued. I will strive forward and offer more people a chance for salvation. I will live up to the title of Fa rectification period Dafa disciple.
(Shared at the Fifth Internet Experience Sharing Conference for Practitioners in China)