Being a Capable Practitioner
(Clearwisdom.net) I began practicing Falun Gong in 1999. Soon after, Jiang Zemin started the persecution of the practice. The Chinese Communist-controlled media blanketed the country with lies and propaganda attacking Falun Gong. At the time, I didn't fully understand what was going on, but based on my past experiences it felt like a repeat of the Cultural Revolution. I kept repeating Teacher's Fa to myself. Teacher said in "Abiding in the Dao:"
"Looking, but caring not to see--
Free of delusion and doubt.
Listening, but caring not to hear--
A mind so hard to disturb." (Hong Yin) (official translation)
I refrained from reading the newspapers or watching television. I wasn't concerned with what people around me said, because I had a strong belief, "Cultivating to the end." I read Zhuan Falun diligently and memorized Hong Yin and Essentials for Further Advancement, as well as Teacher's new articles. For the past ten years, I have gotten up at 4:00 a.m. to do the exercises. I haven't missed one morning. I feel that Teacher is always with me and has adjusted my body and given me hints when I needed them. I used to have leg pains that would keep me from going downstairs, pain up my back, and intense neck pains in the morning, but now I feel very light, and people say that I look younger than ever before.
Since the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net) was established, I have noticed practitioners downloading Teacher's new articles and truth-clarifying materials about Falun Gong and the persecution, which has made me think about buying a computer. My daughter found out and gave me hers. She told me I could use it to search for materials. I know this was Teacher's arrangement. I was so happy, even though I didn't know how to operate the computer. Being over 60 years of age, I asked my children to teach me how to use it. Alas, when I tried to use the Internet, I couldn't figure it out and was unable to open the website. I feared that I might have been monitored by the police. Or had they infected my computer with a virus? When I heard that reinstalling the operating system would solve this problem, I asked some people to help me re-install. Eventually, a computer-oriented practitioner helped me to reinstall my system, and imparted some computer-related knowledge. Since then I have learned that our Internet website is encrypted, so my fears were unnecessary.
After I learned how to browse the Internet, I discovered that many practitioners had established materials production sites and downloaded materials from the Minghui website. I thought I should set up a site as well. I bought a printer and other items and tried to print the truth-clarification materials. Looking back at the first booklet I made, I recall how I was filled with happiness at the wisdom and inspiration that Teacher gives us. As long as I needed anything I could figure out how to get it. However, during the printing and delivering of the truth-clarification materials, many of my human attachments were exposed and I found myself in many unexpected situations. For example, once when I turned on the computer it didn't work. So I tried again several times and the computer still did not work. I had to take it in for repair. I looked at the computer and noticed all the cables. I understood very little about it and wondered if there was anything I could do. I started to look inward. I drew a picture, labeled every connection, then removed cords and took the computer to the workshop for repair. When they checked the computer they couldn't find any problems, and the computer worked just fine. I took it home, re-connected it, and indeed it worked fine. From this I realized that a Dafa practitioner has the ability to learn quickly, and also we should search inward first before sending it for repair.
At one stage, when I printed a copy of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, the printer either printed blank pages or didn't feed the paper. I thought that the evil was trying to interfere with me. I sent forth righteous thoughts and it still didn't work. At first I thought that it must be my human attachments. What human attachment was it? Was it fear? What was I scared of? Finally I realized that my husband was not home when I printed the materials, and I always finished printing before he came home. At the precise moment I thought about this, the printer failed. The more I rushed, the more problems I had. I realized that I was doing this to save more sentient beings, so I should not fear anything, and my husband should support me. After that I printed the materials while he was home, and sometimes I gave him some of the materials to read. From then on the printing went very smoothly.
Another time when I printed the first page of the Nine Commentaries, there was a black spot on the page. I thought that since it was not the main text, it didn't matter. I continued printing, but then the printer stopped feeding the paper. After I changed to a clean page, the printer worked very well. Again when I put back the page with the black spot, the printer stopped. I realized this was caused by my attachment, because I worried about wasting paper. I didn't consider other people and their needs. From this, I realized: 1) truth-clarification materials are used to save sentient beings. We should do our very best. There is no room for any mistakes; and 2) we should learn to search inward. I exposed many human attachments. If I didn't find my attachment, the printer stopped working. I think that if every practitioner produced truth-clarifying materials, it would help with their improvement.
While delivering copies of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, I gave up my attachments, especially to fear. I remember I was shaking when I delivered one or two of the Nine Commentaries booklets, but after a while I managed to remain calm. This was all due to Teacher's protection. Dafa gives me wisdom. However, I have not clarified the facts face to face. The number of people I have persuaded to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations are few. I still need to work on my attachments of fear and sentiment. In the future, I will follow Teacher's requirements, study the Fa well, memorize Zhuan Falun, and do the three things a qualified Dafa practitioner is tasked to do.