Cultivating and Saving Family Members
(Clearwisdom.net) I started to practice Falun Gong in March 1996. During the past 12 years, with firm faith in Dafa, I have survived very difficult situations, trials and tribulations. Especially since July 20, 1999, it was difficult because of the persecution by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I have walked my cultivation path, clarified the truth about Falun Gong and the brutal persecution of its practitioners, and saved sentient beings along the way. I feel that one can also cultivate well in the family setting, and the key is handling the relationship with family members well.
I withdrew when I lived at my in-law's home. On the surface, I was humble and obedient, but deep in my heart I was guarded at all times. My mother-in-law had once objected to her son marrying me, and I resented that for years. My heart was filled with resentment and discontent, and I blamed my bad luck on people around me.
When I read, "A wicked person is born of jealousy. Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself" (Essentials for Further Advancement--"Realms" ), Teacher's words touched my heart. I was submerged in this muddy place that is society. Now I am a practitioner, and when I can cleanse myself during my Fa-rectification cultivation and eliminate everything that has deviated, I can truly elevate. What was happening in my family? Wasn't that a result of selfishness? If I look at things from ordinary people's point of view, then I become an ordinary person. If that continued, then cultivation is just an empty word for me.
When I calmly looked within, I found that jealousy and competitiveness filled my heart. This was the reason why I faced so many problems. Although I tried to change, nothing really changed fundamentally. This issue became more prominent in particular in our truth clarification efforts after July 20, 1999.
Teacher said in "Comments Regarding the Fa-Rectification Made at the Falun Dafa Assistants Meeting in Beijing"
"...whether you're a student or cultivator of Falun Dafa--and this is especially so for a person who does an assistant's work--people don't see you as a lone individual, as just another qigong practitioner. No matter what you do, people will see you as a Falun Dafa cultivator who represents Falun Dafa. This is a really important point... " (Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa)
I asked myself, "Did you follow Teacher's Fa? Did you behave as a practitioner?" In the subsequent days, I treated my family as my cultivation environment and my family members as sentient beings for me to save. I reminded myself to keep righteous thoughts and study the Fa well. I was certain that I could handle all conflicts and family members properly. I tried to be understanding towards my mother-in-law and treat other people well. Gradually, I felt that they were considerate and reasonable. We became closer and now live together harmoniously. My selfishness disappeared, and I no longer see the shortcomings of my relatives. I can focus on my own attachments and shortcomings.
After a few years, my family saw the purity, beauty and amazing nature of Dafa in me, and they supported me in doing the three things. My mother-in-law actually persuaded our entire family to quit the CCP and its affiliates. When my brother-in-law found some truth clarification materials about Falun Gong and the persecution, my mother-in-law asked him not to discard them, but to give them to other people. When I was still not clear within myself and held on to my attachments, my road was bumpy. When I could forbear and follow the Fa, everything changed. Nowadays, my parents, sibling and the younger members of the family all recognize the greatness of Falun Dafa. They witnessed the beauty of Dafa through me and how it changed me over the past few years. Now, all of them have quit the CCP and chosen a bright future for themselves.
During this process, I realized that family is not just about blood ties. It's a small unit within society. Our relatives are sentient beings who need us to save them. If a cultivator can follow the Fa in their speech and action, look inward during conflicts and cultivate themselves, and treat them well, then that person will be able to clarify the truth in a relaxed environment, validate the Fa, and improve in the process.