Letting Go of Selfishness During Cultivation
(Clearwisdom.net) It is only recently that I found my fundamental attachment: selfishness; that is, being attached to myself. I used to think about how undaunted I was in difficult situations. I always thought of myself as being just and honest. However, I have now discovered that I am a selfish person. I treat the sacred responsibility that Teacher gave me as an opportunity to pursue my attachments and validate myself.
The persecution against the universe's Fa should not occur at all. It was set up by the old forces who wanted to test Dafa with their imposed tribulations. However, no one is qualified to test the universe's fundamental Fa. The Fa can rectify everything that is not righteous. During the old forces' "test," the "selfishness" that had deviated from the universe's characteristics was exposed completely. During the Fa Rectification process, Dafa practitioners have become more and more mature and rational. But if every practitioner had acted righteously, this persecution should have ended long ago and the human world would have been rectified already. How could this persecution have lasted for eight years?
I ask myself, am I with no omissions in my cultivation? Have I become really righteous? Looking inward, I saw the attachment of validating myself during this 'should-not-exist' persecution and using the imposed tribulations as a process to show off my achievements. I thought I could cultivate well and cultivate to high levels during these tribulations. But when I look back, I feel ashamed of my immaturity. Isn't this the excuse that the old forces use to persecute Fa Rectification Period Disciples?
No one is qualified to test the fundamental righteous Fa that has created all life, the universe and everything in it. We are created by the Fa. When we deviate from the Fa and become impure, we need to return to the Fa and assimilate with the Fa. We should not use this crucial responsibility given to us by the Fa to validate ourselves. Isn't that to use the Fa to achieve one's own selfish goal? Isn't that unrighteous? If we ourselves are not righteous, how can we assist Teacher to rectify the Fa? When we subconsciously acknowledge these "tests," how can we really stop the persecution?
I believe the persecution should not exist. The reason why persecution occurs is because we do not do well and do not meet the requirements of the Fa. If we were all righteous, then everything on earth would be fantastic and the evil would not have a place to stay either; the evil would just disappear. How can the evil still do evil things? Isn't it that Dafa practitioners still have gaps?
It is only today that I found my selfishness; I must get rid of it. This selfishness let me protect myself, validate myself and conditionally do things to validate the Fa. Here I want to discuss my mistake of saving sentient beings while I was "selfish."
In the human world, I always treat saving sentient beings as a just thing to do. The word "Just" became the power to push me forward. It also made me develop a habit of not stopping until I reached my goal. To those whom I have clarified the truth many times but who still refused to accept my words, I had very bad thoughts about them. I thought to myself,"When the time comes, you will know whether what I said is true. Your path is chosen by yourself." However, now when I look back, I ask myself, "What's the goal of your truth-clarification? Are you trying to validate that what you said is right? To let those people who do not listen to you know that they will regret it? Where's my benevolence? Isn't this not validating the Fa but validating myself?"
Eight years. I think it's time for me to wake up now.
July 22, 2007