Harmonizing the Family Environment Well and Maintaining Diligent and Solid Cultivation
(Clearwisdom.net) I have come to understand an important aspect of cultivating myself diligently and solidly. I deeply realized that only when I can harmonize the cultivation environment within my family, can I do the three things well.
1. Thoroughly Enlightening to Fa Principles
When the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began to persecute Falun Dafa, the ordeals and tribulations within my family became huge. I was detained in a forced labor camp for 17 months between 2002 and 2003. During this time my family endured a lot of pain and humiliation. They were instilled with many evil doctrines by the CCP and forced to perform deeds disrespectful to Teacher and Dafa. My father suffered from incurable cancer and died not long after I returned home. When my wife and mother learned that I was continuing to practice Falun Gong, they were very angry and spared no effort in disturbing me. At first, I clarified the truth to my family and sent forth righteous thoughts. However, this did not seem to have much effect. My wife would not listen at all, and increased her efforts against me. Sometimes I felt that this situation was hopeless and I lost the confidence to handle it.
I believe that my self indulgence, attachments and human notions resulted in long-term family tribulations. My family environment was not rectified, and thus I became very passive in doing the three things for quite some time. I am the king of a future universe, guardian of a new cosmos and a Fa-rectification period Dafa practitioner who shoulders a great historical mission. I truly should be able to practice in an open and honorable way at home! Due to my determination, Teacher compassionately arranged for my mother to meet another Falun Dafa practitioner. As a result she was able to understand the truth and no longer opposed my practice. My wife's attitude toward Dafa softened slightly, but still did not fundamentally change. I read other practitioners' articles about rectifying the family environment, but I was unable to find a way to change my wife, and I did not know how to look inwards at myself.
Then Teacher's article, "Teaching the Fa in Canada" was published and I clearly felt Teacher was behind me and closely watching practitioners' cultivation. Teacher pointed out that the family environment is the cultivation form created for Falun Dafa practitioners in the Fa-rectification period. Previously, I had not fully understood this. My wife always complained that I did not look after the family. Teacher used others to give me a hint that I should cherish my family, and I enlightened to the understanding that Teacher uses family life as a cultivation form for Dafa practitioners. This enables us to abandon various human notions and attachments related to family, and cultivate ourselves. Falun Dafa practitioners can validate the path of cultivation in a family environment by demonstrating how "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance" manifest in family life. This is a requirement of the new cosmos. Teacher has told us many Fa principles about relationships between couples, parents and children, and how to explain the truth to family members. Every Falun Dafa practitioner must correctly face this obstacle and use Dafa principles to rectify warped notions and actions in family life.
Just as a Falun Dafa practitioner once said, "The family is paramount in the testing of xinxing during cultivation." I enlightened that indeed, family life is a good place to get rid of sentiment, selfishness, pursuit of comfort, laziness, lust and other human notions and attachments. Family life is the starting point and guarantee of doing the "three things" well and fulfilling our grand prehistoric oath of saving sentient beings and assisting Teacher in Fa-rectification. However, the old forces also use family life to persecute Falun Gong practitioners and destroy practitioners' righteous thoughts. It is more difficult to maintain a practitioner's state and not slack off in family life than in work and social environments. At home, you can't treat things lightly one bit! You must completely abandon the basic human notion that the family is a cozy nest and keep strong righteous thoughts at all times. I actually did not achieve this, as I was sometimes not attentive and missed times for sending forth righteous thoughts. Thus, I experienced long term tribulations as I followed the path arranged by the old forces.
2. Deeply Looking Inwards
After I realized this, I deeply looked inside of myself. I found deep selfishness and strong attachments of sentiment hidden inside of me. My truth clarification was mostly out of selfishness and sentiment. First of all, I did not want my wife to be used by the old forces and therefore be destroyed, and secondly, I wanted to cultivate more comfortably at home. My true motivation was not one of great mercy in saving her, or righteous thoughts of creating an open and honorable cultivation environment. Due to my gaps of sentimentality and selfishness, my truth clarification and sending forth righteous thoughts had no effect on my wife, and delayed me in doing the three things well.
In the past I used an everyday person's standard in family life and settled for average requirements for being a good husband and son. I should have required myself to display the xinxing standards of a Dafa practitioner at all times. My wife could not feel the wonders of Dafa and so she did not approve of Dafa. In addition, sentiment interfered with my ability to be merciful, righteous and stable. My sentiment toward my wife was hard to abandon and was actually the biggest cause of my enlightening along an evil path during the time I spent in the labor camp. I realized this sentiment was not truly caring for my wife; it was harming her. I understood and became clear that mercy is without selfishness and of a grand realm that indeed considers the eternity of a life.
3. Dealing With Family Conflicts
Effectively dealing with sudden conflicts in family life is essential. Every conflict is a comprehensive test of oneself. However, I did not wisely balance family relations and maintain my xinxing, which resulted in the appearance of my demonic side. This caused my wife and mother to have a negative view of me and affected my neighbors opportunity to know the truth of Dafa. Fortunately, in "Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006" and "Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital," Teacher explained the Fa of how to understand conflicts and troubles and how to deal with them. After several family conflicts, I tried to use the Fa to understand them and deeply looked inward. When I found my attachments and shortcomings, my wife and mother's anger disappeared and their attitudes miraculously improved.
I stopped avoiding conflict as I had done previously and tried to look at the situation from the perspective of Teacher's Fa. I then felt it was easy to pass the tests, and often the solutions clearly appeared in front of me. When I maintained my xinxing in conflicts, and deeply dug out my shortcomings after the event, I had a wonderful feeling of success. Moreover, my wife's eyes revealed the look of respect and caring and my mother would also be smiling.
Someone once said, "An impartial judge will find himself worthless in hearing a case of domestic disputes," however, merciful Teacher's profound Fa principles are able to guide us in dealing with family relationships truly well. Falun Dafa practitioners should maintain strong righteous thoughts at all times when at home, strictly follow Dafa principles and harmonize well the family cultivation environment. Only then are we able to do the three things well and correctly walk our final paths toward consummation and godhood.