Harmonizing the Family Environment
(Clearwisdom.net) Each Dafa practitioner has traveled a difficult cultivation path during the past seven years. Now we are approaching the last phase of Fa-rectification and must be more diligent. I would like to share my experiences of how to harmonize the family environment while cultivating. Please kindly point out any mistakes.
In July 1999, when the Communist regime started the persecution, my husband lost his job in a school simply because I practice Falun Gong. He was forced to stay home to monitor me. Facing pressure from society and my family, I still went to Beijing to appeal for Dafa, but was arrested at the West Train Station and sent back to my local detention center. My husband managed to have me released through his personal network connection. As soon as I returned home, my husband forbade me to study the Fa or practice the exercises. He also forbade me to contact any fellow practitioners. Between 1999 and 2004 he did not help me with any housework, did not listen to me at all when I tried to explain the facts to him, and his parents were also against me practicing. My situation was difficult, but I did not give up cultivation, and I did not give up my firm faith in Master and Dafa. Out of fear of the CCP, my husband often physically and verbally abused me, sometimes even saying bad words about Master and Dafa. At these times, I would send forth righteous thoughts toward my husband, to eliminate all the wretched demons, dark minions, and the Communist evil spirit behind him. When he went to work I studied the Fa and practiced the exercises more, hoping his true nature would soon awaken.
In the summer of 2001, one day as I was returning from farm work, it was the time for Dafa practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts globally. I immediately sat down and started sending forth righteous thoughts. My husband commenced to verbally abuse me, demanding I put down my legs. I did not comply. He started to hit me, making our daughter cry. I told him calmly, "My body would still sit there even with my head cut off." ("Huge Exposure" in Essentials for Further Advancement) He left. Since then he has never interrupted me when I send forth righteous thoughts.
Master told us,
"The trials that a cultivator goes through are something an everyday person could not endure. That is why throughout history so few people have been able to succeed in cultivation and reach Consummation. Human beings are just human beings. At critical moments it is hard for them to let go of their human notions, but they always try to find excuses to convince themselves. A magnificent cultivator, on the other hand, is able to let go of his Self and even all of his ordinary human thoughts amidst crucial trials." ("Position" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Master's teaching encouraged me to jump over one barrier after another and pass one test after another on my cultivation path. Yet, sometimes I did well, and sometimes I did not do so well when facing family tribulations.
Last year when my husband proposed to sell his old motorcycle and buy a new one, I disagreed. During that time he often came home drunk and started cursing for no reason. I knew that for a cultivator nothing happens by accident, that this was a test of my attachment to self-interest, yet I could not let it go and allow him to spend the money. During one particularly conflict-ridden day he told me in the morning he would no longer let me study the Fa and practice the exercises at home, that he would burn all the Dafa materials if he saw them. I was angry; how could he interrupt my cultivation again after I had told him so many facts? But he still did not listen. I told him it was impossible to stop me from cultivating. If he insisted we would have to divorce. He left for work. When he left I went to Master's picture to ask for guidance. Our benevolent Master gave me a hint, because before my eyes appeared the words,
"Compassion can harmonize Heaven and Earth, ushering in spring
Righteous thoughts can save the people in this world"
("The Fa Rectifies the Cosmos" in Hong Yin Vol. II)
"When disciples have ample righteous thoughts
Master has the power to turn back the tide."
("The Master-Disciple Bond" in Hong Yin Vol. II)
I was in tears and calmed down to look inward. On the surface it was my attachment to monetary self-interest, but deeper in my heart I did not have compassion for my family members. This omission gave the evil forces an advantageous opportunity and interrupted my cultivating and rescuing people. I also realized I was attached to competition and selfishness. I could not forgive my husband for hitting me and cursing at me. I wanted to be the center and authority in my family, I even wanted to control what my husband said or did. I asked myself, "Is he cultivating or am I? Why do I always demand that he should do this or that, yet never want to change myself? Isn't this the way the old universe is? Isn't it selfishness and factors relating to the CCP's evil spirit?"
I found many of my shortcomings and had insights based on the Fa and corrected myself. When my husband returned home at night he smiled at me and did not mention buying a new motorcycle, saying he would not curse any more, even after drinking. I eventually bought him a new motorcycle. I knew Master was helping me to reach the selfless standard that applies to the new universe.
Another incident happened that I believe was to help me eliminate my attachment to affection between husband and wife. One night my husband's cellphone rang. He looked at it and so did I. I did not recognize the number and did not answer the call. After a while a short message arrived from the same phone number. I asked my husband who it was. My husband said it was from one of his former colleagues, "She no longer lives in the area." I knew this woman. She had called several times before. I had not paid attention then, though I did not say anything. This time I lost control. I knew it was a test, yet I could not control myself. No matter how much my husband explained, it was not like I imagined, and I did not believe him. We argued until midnight and were ready to divorce the next day. We even discussed child custody and how to divide our family possessions. After my husband went to sleep I calmed down and looked at what I had done: Did I behave like a Dafa practitioner? I did not maintain my xinxing when facing this tribulation; I behaved like an ordinary person. This exposed my attachments to suspicion and my affection for my husband. I had to get rid of them.
I remembered what Master had told us in "Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference":
"You walk this path of Fa-rectification well, you manage to overcome your limitations in cultivation, you let go of your attachments, you save all beings with righteous thoughts in your mind, and you handle everything you face with righteous thoughts--that is mighty virtue."
I knew the path Dafa practitioners walk on is to be left for the future. I could not leave a divided family for the future. I started sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the dark minions and wretched demons interrupting my family in the other dimensions.
Master said in "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference":
"The evil takes advantage of the slightest gap and glares menacingly at every single word and action of yours. Whatever you're attached to, that's what the evil beings will strengthen, and when your mind is off they will make you irrational."
I realized my attachment to human affections had caused this incident. Seeing society's downward slide, I worried my husband might be the same. I always wanted to control him in a human way. I often checked his cellphone records. My omission did not harmonize Dafa in human society. The old forces took advantage of this omission and used my husband to interrupt me, and I had to completely deny this.
Once I understood this level of the Fa, I felt a thick layer of substances that had surrounded my body disappear. I believed Master would arrange a stable family environment for me to cultivate. The next morning when I asked my husband about divorce he said he never said that, he was just helping me to improve my xinxing. He told me not to bother with these useless matters, that I should focus on cultivating; everything had changed dramatically overnight. After that, I started letting go of my affection for him, treating my husband as a sentient being, and treating my family as part of my cultivation. I remembered to look inward when encountering conflicts, to do things according to "Truthfulness-Benevolence-Forbearance" and continued to improve my xinxing. I was determined not to let the dark minions and wretched demons take advantage of my human affections to interrupt my cultivation and my family.
The Fa-rectification is not over yet; we are all doing the three things with a sense of urgency. Dafa practitioners should be "full of great aspirations while minding minor details" at home also. Practitioners can usually do well facing outside tests or tribulations; thus we should also do well facing conflicts at home. As long as we treat everyone with the compassion and forbearance that comes from Dafa, everything around us will change.
My family is a good example. Now my husband is very happy hosting any fellow practitioner at our home. He also withdrew from CCP using his real name. My daughter is also reading Zhuan Falun. They both help me with Dafa projects. My husband now understands and supports me when I study the Fa. Actually I should thank him for helping me improve my xinxing, though in this process he created a lot of karma. Master's benevolence provided him with an opportunity to understand the truth.
Harmonizing our family is a path we must walk on in our cultivation. I believe we as cultivators must treat everything with righteous thoughts. Master taught us the Fa. We must truly cultivate the Fa in our real life, do everything and say every word according the Fa in human society, and must leave the greatness of Dafa for the future humanity.
Master's benevolent protection and arrangements helped me overcome all the barriers on my cultivation path and allowed me to achieve a harmonious cultivation environment in my family, as was the power and guidance from Dafa. Let us all cultivate diligently and rescue people, including our family members, in this limited time.