(Clearwisdom.net) Today I went to visit a practitioner who was experiencing sickness karma, and I shared my insights and understandings with her. Seeing the painful expression on her face and that she didn't enlighten to this issue, I felt a bit sad. I looked at myself compared with her, and I suddenly realized that for all these years I haven't actually done cultivation. Some other practitioners and I haven't actually known how to cultivate. I felt ashamed of myself and felt like I was not worthy of Master's mercy.

Six months ago, this practitioner encountered interference and it reflected on her body. Since she was relatively young, she was able to survive, so she was not as eager to look for ways to get rid of the interference like she is now. The interference from the demon of sickness is now severe, but she hasn't found the real reason for the interference. Yet she has collected a few solutions. For example, she asked fellow practitioners to come to her home to share experiences in the hope of finding the answer to get rid of the interference; she asked practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts for her; she looked for opportunities to practice the exercises together to have a strong energy field; and she listened to Master's lectures and did the exercises to temporarily kill the pain. But she didn't get rid of the interference. Instead, it got worse. The only thing she has yet to do is to look inward. Practitioners pointed out to her that it was time to look for omissions in her Xinxing. Yet she still didn't understand the importance of looking inward. She said in blank dismay: "How should I look inward? I can't find it." She continued looking outside for reasons.

Considering this practitioner's cultivation status, I thought of myself. To my surprise, in these ten years of cultivation I have never learned how to cultivate. I didn't know how to look inward when coming across tribulations. I only looked at things from the surface level with the goal of solving problems. I often looked for other people's shortcomings and complained of the wrongs I suffered. I was resentful. Though sometimes I realized that what I had come across was not accidental, I still didn't calm down to look for the cause of the interference and to get rid of my attachments. In all these years I have studied the Fa a lot, yet I still keep piles of attachments.

Here is an example. During the Chinese New Year holiday, my son came home. One night I found there were pornographic pictures on his computer. I was shocked and got very angry because in my heart I didn't think my son was like that or should be like that. I scolded him on the spot and then I thought up ways to keep him away from such a polluted environment. I was very disappointed and angry with him. I didn't think about looking inward at all, or try to find anything wrong with my Xinxing. Instead I used ordinary people's reasoning and methods for finding solutions.

I found that I was very upset and even afraid to turn on the computer because there might be things there I didn't want to see. How strong the attachment was. I told my fellow practitioners that my dimensional field was not righteous; otherwise such things would not happen. But I only said it, and didn't really look inward. I didn't clearly know the importance of looking inward, and didn't realize my omission in this respect. It was not until I read the article"Cultivate your Heart and Sever your Desire," published on Minghui.net, that I realized that I had serious problems regarding this aspect. I had always thought that I had passed the test of this kind and was quite satisfied with myself as a rather "righteous" person in daily life. For example, I expect my husband will make love to me and just think about it as conforming to ordinary people's way of living in marriage, while I neglected to require myself to follow a higher standard. I like to watch love stories with life and death themes and my heart goes up and down with the stories. I often recalled my previous boyfriends.

This practitioner's severe sickness interference awakened me. I realized the seriousness of cultivation. I saw those many attachments I had and understood that I must really learn to cultivate.

To really learn to cultivate, the first and foremost, we should discard the formality of studying the Fa for the sake of studying the Fa, and rely on the Fa principles to guide our daily cultivation and guide our every action and every thought, and assimilate to the Fa. Secondly we must look inward whenever coming across problems; unconditionally look inward to find what we haven't done well and get rid of our notions and attachments. Thirdly, in ordinary society we must judge things from the perspective of Fa principles and not from our own experiences or notions.

There are two paths in every practitioner's cultivation way. One is the path Master has arranged for us, which leads to Consummation. The other path is the crooked one, arranged by the old forces, which leads to self-destruction. Learning how to cultivate is the guarantee that every genuine practitioner will walk the path Master has arranged for us. It is also the most basic requirement that Dafa sets forth for us. If we can't meet this basic requirement, then we are walking the path arranged by the old forces.

Kindly point out anything inappropriate.