Reflections on the Death of a Fellow Practitioner
On March 21 this year, one of our local practitioners suddenly passed away. Many practitioners in our area were surprised. She had seemed very diligent. She was working hard to teach people about Falun Dafa and expose the persecution it faced from the Chinese government.
She started to practice in 1996. Before the persecution began in 1999, she visited many local townships to introduce people to Falun Dafa. After the Communist persecution of Falun Dafa began, she went to Beijing three times to appeal to government authorities for Falun Gong. She was illegally sentenced to forced labor in 2000 for one year and again in 2002 for two years. She suffered greatly at Shayang Forced Labor Camp. She was also detained several times for shorter periods. Each time she was released, she would immediately return to clarifying the truth. After so much suffering and being so diligent, how could she die of illness? Since her death, many fellow practitioners have been thinking about this incident. I would like to share my understanding so that we can learn from this tragic situation and reflect on how to improve ourselves.
She was brutally tortured at labor camps for a long time. Malicious guards often beat her and threw her into a separate small cell. She went on a hunger strike. Guard Liu Liguang knocked out two of her teeth. They also gave her injections of unknown drugs and put suspicious things in her food. She would immediately shake and jerk wildly. She was badly hurt, both physically and mentally. Sometimes, her mind was not clear. She would suddenly murmur a few words, but no one could understand what she was talking about. When she was released from the forced labor camps, she hurried to begin working on projects, but, sadly, she couldn't study the Fa with a calm mind. When she read the Fa, she often missed or added words. Recently during Fa-study, she even missed whole lines or paragraphs. Other practitioners reminded her of her errors, but she didn't make much improvement. When sending forth righteous thoughts, she was sleepy and her hand gestures were incorrect. She tried to make changes, but failed to break through.
At one time she was arrested and sent to Fuyang Detention Center. She clarified the truth about Dafa and went on a hunger strike. Her husband went to the detention center and requested that she be released. He moved to the area, so he was able to go to the detention center every day. The detention center tried to force her to write the so-called "repentance letter." She refused. Then her husband wrote the letter on her behalf. She was there when her husband did it. When she was released, she didn't publish a solemn declaration. Some fellow practitioners asked her how she had gotten released and she said she had been let go with dignity. When she died, fellow practitioners learned about the "repentance letter" from her husband. This was a huge omission. If she had told us that her husband had written the letter for her, we would have urged her to renounce it.
She tried to be diligent. She tried her best to save people. However, due to the tortures that she was subjected to, she was seriously injured both physically and mentally. She didn't get a chance to study the Fa a lot, and, when she did, she wasn't able to be calm. Her consciousness was not always clear, and she often dozed off when sending righteous thoughts. Before July 20 1999, she didn't pay enough attention to Fa-study and xinxing cultivation. I'd like to point out that, as far as spreading the Fa, she did a lot and she donated a lot of money. She didn't pursue comfort. She visited many local townships to spread the Fa.
There are many loopholes in our local group. We didn't take care of her very well. Sometimes we criticized her. We often blamed her for not doing well on this or that. We didn't help her improve her understanding of the Fa with a practitioner's compassion and tolerance. We didn't ask her about her health or her life or her thoughts.
A few days before she died, she suddenly felt sick. She got better when we sent forth righteous thoughts for her. When we left, she again hurried to work on Dafa projects. We didn't remind her to study the Fa more and send forth righteous thoughts more. We didn't realize the she was in such serious condition.
One fellow practitioner with her celestial eye open said she saw a demon trying to pull this practitioner away. This practitioner refused to leave and said she still had tasks to do. The fellow practitioner wasn't sure about what she saw, therefore she didn't talk to the practitioner about this nor did she ask other practitioners to help by sending forth righteous thoughts. When the ill practitioner died, this fellow practitioner realized what she had seen was real and she regretted not speaking of it. Another fellow practitioner said that, before she died, this practitioner had told her she had put all her Dafa books and materials in a certain place. When she died, we realized she was leaving the materials as her will to us. Late in March, she left us forever. Her death is a big loss to our local area's truth-clarification. This is a serious lesson for us.
It was because we didn't cooperate well and we didn't take others' troubles as our own that this incident happened. Some fellow practitioners thought she had reached consummation and realized her vows. They thought she was supposed to die like this. I don't agree with this opinion. There are still so many people who haven't learned the truth and haven't quit the evil Party. How could a Falun Dafa practitioner throw away his or her flesh body and die at this point? I think whenever we see or hear anything that could indicate problems in a fellow practitioners' life, we need to keep alert. We need to respond helpfully for the sake of the Fa, for that fellow practitioner, and for us as a body of practitioners.
A few days before she died, three or four practitioners learned she didn't feel well. They read the Fa to her and encouraged her to use righteous thoughts to endure. When she died, some non-practitioners, who didn't know the truth about what happened, said some bad things about her. We patiently told them the facts and tried our best to minimize any negative impact.
When I think about what happened, I realize that we weren't mature. We didn't cultivate ourselves well and we didn't cooperate well. Please learn from our mistakes. Let's study the Fa well, validate the Fa, and work to support each other in difficult times.