Becoming a Qualified Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciple
(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings to our Respected Master! Greetings to all fellow practitioners!
I began Fa study in May 2003 in an eastern Canadian city where there were only three Dafa practitioners. They would drive over two hours weekly to Toronto to collect The Epoch Times newspaper and place it in a local Chinese supermarket. That is how I was able to learn the truth of Falun Gong and I began Fa cultivation thereafter. A few good friends who saw the huge changes in me also began reading the book Zhuan Falun. When I first began Fa study I did not participate in any large scale Fa-study or experience sharings. I did not fully appreciate the importance of Fa study, and simply placed cultivating my xinxing and practicing the exercises above other things. I underwent eight months of karma tribulation ï¿½" I vomited constantly during my pregnancy. I almost reverted to the mentality of an ordinary person, when Master's article, "My version of a 'Stick Wake-up'" was published. I then awoke and decided to start cultivating seriously.
When Master saw my serious mind for validating the Fa emerge, my husband quickly found a position and was hired by a company in Vancouver. As our child was only a month old, my non-practicing family members said that an airplane ride for such a young child would be unhealthy, so I didn't move to Vancouver and stayed behind with our newborn and a three-year-old. I was really happy within ï¿½" I could go clarify the truth without any restrictions. I was then in a newborn baby mother's class. There was another toddler center in my region, and they were all good places to clarify the truth. I did not have any notions at that time. A few Chinese parents were able to learn of the truth. Some of them even wanted me to lend them Zhuan Falun to read.
Predestined people were everywhere. Once I was photocopying materials at a shop when my baby began crying. I didn't know about sending righteous thoughts to eliminate interference back then. I held her in one hand, and did the photocopying with my free hand. A kind Westerner asked if I needed any help, and I refused politely. When she was just about to leave I thought she was someone to be rescued, too, and hurried to give her a flyer. I met her again later on at my child's school. She borrowed my Zhuan Falun that very day. That was two years ago, at a time when I had not yet recognized the importance of Fa study and sending righteous thoughts. While clarifying the truth, not too many notions hindered me. I was eager to participate in ordinary people's activities, and I clarified the truth everywhere.
Today however, after participating in the Gala ticket promotion activities, as for truth-clarification, I don't know what to do. I no longer know how to clarify the truth face-to-face. I do not like to listen to ordinary people's discussions. I feel that rather than attending community activities I should stay at home to study the Fa. If I do not have to bring my children or fetch them from school and participate in local activities, I simply wish to remain at home all the time. Nevertheless, after doing some rethinking, I believe that am restricted by my human notions. I was attached to my own so-called "purity." I did not even go to the library any longer and felt it a waste of time to go to the toddler center. Unknowingly, I entered a "deep forest." If I had not written this experience sharing I would have almost forgotten my cultivation experiences in participating in community activities. I herewith felt the importance of writing experience-sharing papers, and understood why Master does not fully eliminate our attachments each time we come across one of them. Had He done so, we would be unable to rescue anyone.
After my husband moved to Vancouver he told me that his apartment was in a very good location. It is close to the city hall, the public library and a shopping center. When I did move to Vancouver, much to my surprise, the local practice site was right in front of our apartment. I even had a few Dafa disciples as neighbors. I thanked our most compassionate Master for His arrangement.
The group environment gave me a feeling of rapid improvement. That was when I first began to truly understand Dafa. Even though I have not participated in a lot of large-scale activities, they taught me much understanding. I have participated in three Chinese Communist Party-withdrawal parades. It rained lightly during the first parade and it was a bit cold. My fear was quite strong, and it was also my first time participating in a large-scale Fa activity. I wore a hood, not for protection to protect myself from the cold, but to shy away from the camera, but in the process of shouting, "Withdraw from the Party and save yourself!" my attachment to fear disappeared. I eventually removed my hood and stowed my umbrella. Since then I've tried my best to participate in large-scale Fa activities. The second time, I felt the parade to encourage people to withdraw from the Party was truly a "holy act." For that event I wore a formal suit, applied some make-up, and treated the parade seriously. I arrived early. Thirty minutes before the start of the parade a practitioner came by and asked if I could stay behind, to look after the children and practitioners' bags. I agreed, but with some regret.
Luckily, this time I remembered the Fa I had studied a day earlier, where Master tells us,
"...when it comes to the Fa-rectification and what I choose, all beings' harmonizing and completing things according to my choices..." ("Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference")
Master's arrangement must be a way to help me understand what it means to harmonize and complete things. I immediately saw that this activity was a great way for me to eliminate my human attachments. It does not matter whether I walk in the parade, as the importance is that I have to give up my attachments. The same, mighty virtue awaits me. Just as I thought this, two older practitioners came by and offered to stay behind, to look after the children. I hurriedly caught up with the parade and could not describe my thanks to Master for His efforts to help me improve my xinxing.
Recently, I began helping to promote the NTDTV Chinese New Year Spectacular show in Vancouver. I have once again felt Master's wonderful arrangements, as well as the support of fellow practitioners in this cultivation process. In the initial ticket promotion period I visited hundreds of stores. From then on, I watched the DVD of the 2006 Gala many times and read many Gala commentaries. I finally understood the nature of the new culture that Master is leaving behind for humanity. Although I had not sold a single ticket, a lot of the Party culture was eliminated from my mind. My attachment to accomplishing the job and building my mighty virtue was also eliminated.
The second time, when I joined the ticket promotion discussion, I had a thought. Since Master had chosen to do this, the Gala has to succeed. I thought of every seat having a link to a person, and that as long as I use my compassion to harmonize things and complete my task, things would work out. Initially, the plan was to make some phone calls or visit a local school, library or community center to hand out flyers and posters.
Time was already tight. As I can speak a little English, the coordinator dispatched me to go to a local mall to promote tickets. However, I had an undesirable mindset. First, I did not want to wear fairy costumes in public (this is a deviated notion of modern people), and second, I was afraid that my husband would be unwilling to take care of our young baby or couldn't do it well. I could not get this emotional attachment out of my mind, and I knew that Master could see my attachment. It so happened that fellow practitioners made some good arrangements for me. They helped me do my makeup and even arranged for someone to help me look after our children. I realized that I had to stand on Dafa principles and keep in mind rescuing sentient beings. That is how to look at the problem. I could not hold on to my human notions, being unwilling to let go. Master and fellow practitioners are simply bringing me along to catch up with the Fa-rectification. Even though the old forces want to destroy a new practitioner like me, Master has given much to prevent me from being left behind. Once again I felt that the NTDTV Chinese New Year Spectacular was not merely for rescuing sentient beings, but was a way to pave the cultural road for the future of humankind, and a tool to help us improve in our cultivation as a whole.
In the process of promoting tickets I learned to use righteous thoughts to eliminate interference. The night before going to the mall my throat started aching. I knew that several younger practitioners had also developed symptoms of cough and fever. I used a method I read about on Clearwisdom ï¿½" sending righteous thoughts to eliminate the interference, "You are not fit to interfere with me! I am going to clarify the truth tomorrow." I did not do any hand signs or sit in the lotus position. All I did was think, "You are not fit, you are not fit, you are not fit." The next morning when I woke up, I coughed up pus, and my throat no longer hurt.
When I had previously clarified the truth I also coughed or had a runny nose. Now I understand that Master has already thoroughly cleaned our bodies for us. As long as we have strong righteous thoughts, they will eliminate all interference. When the evil elements saw they had failed to interfere, they decided to attack my other attachments and emotions. My daughter developed a cough and cried the entire night, and my human notions emerged. My daughter's continued coughing prevented me from calming myself to send righteous thoughts. I knew that this interference resulted from my impure mindset. My husband told me after a day of looking after the children that he did not wish for me to go promote tickets anymore. Even though I tried explaining that there would be someone to help me look after the children in the future, I was afraid of his temper. This is also another attachment that I have not eliminated in my cultivation process.
Master has truly arranged everything well. That day, two practitioners from Calgary arrived and solved our manpower shortage. I was able to have a serene mind to send righteous thoughts and look for my attachments. During the day I tried letting our toddler listen to the Fa but she refused saying, "I do not wish to listen to the Fa. I want to listen to Pu Du!" I thought that it was the evil behind her saying that she does not wish to listen to the Fa, so I still tried to convince her, but she insisted on listening to Pu Du. When the music sounded, she immediately quieted down and fell immediately asleep. After twice listening to "Pu Du" and "Ji Shi" she woke up, and all her bad symptoms had disappeared. I realized it was Master giving me an opportunity to witness the power of Dafa music. I instantly sensed another, deeper meaning related to the Spectacular.
I would not have improved as much and as quickly, were it not for other practitioners' help and their leading me to participate in this ticket promotion. I would not be able to appreciate older practitioners' tireless efforts standing in the winter cold in front of the Chinese Consulates, and other actions. Some young mothers stand during the day and do other Dafa projects at night, and take care of their children at the same time. Coordinators also have to pack things up every day.
In the past I had always looked at it superficially. Master had already told us how Buddhas discuss things with each other. Why are there still so many heated arguments between practitioners? When I finally was involved in one of the events I realized that it was to expose our attachments and help us cultivate away our bad notions. Everyone can see their attachments during an argument and become able to slowly learn to give them up.
In the process of promoting tickets I also learned forbearance. No matter how tired I was when I returned home, the first thing I had to do was cook for the family. Even though my husband would sometimes be unhappy, I never had any feelings of self-pity or a grudge. Every time I returned from the shopping mall my husband would ask me, "Are you still going tomorrow?" I would reply, "There are so many old practitioners who are persisting, so of course I will also persist, until the last ticket has been sold." He finally understood and would take care of our children himself or bring the children home from a practitioner's house.
On the day of the performance I had momentarily let down the guard on my righteous thoughts. My husband said that he no longer wanted to attend [the show]. I knew that this was not his own thought, because even though he said it, he was already changing his clothes. He tried on many different suits. Even before we left the house he was unhappy with his tie and changed to another one. Seeing that we could be late, I sent righteous thoughts along the way and begged Master not to let me miss the first part of the program. I was able to find our seats the moment the first performance began. When I saw the word "Vow" I broke into tears. I would hereby once again like to thank all those practitioners who have helped young mothers like me take care of our children, who persisted in putting up posters and sending righteous thoughts, and do other good things. It is through Master's support and with the efforts of the whole body that we have so far aspired to Master's requirements for us to become a whole body, without leaving many loopholes.
In the process of my participation in large-scale activities, Master has revealed all my undesirable notions. In reality, I have long held an attachment to consummation. However, I was quite unwilling to share with fellow practitioners about how eliminate it. I know that I am sometimes diligent and sometimes lax, and am far from fulfilling the requirements Master has for us. A practitioner like me who is even unable to persist in practicing the exercises ï¿½" what a joke it is for me to be attached to consummation!
I asked Master what I should do. No matter how I studied the Fa, I could not see the roots of my attachment. When Master saw that I was unable to find it on my own, Master sent me a message in my dream, "Being attached to consummation means being attached to yourself." This was instant illumination! It is my ego making me put my own comfort first, and not saving sentient beings. On the surface I look as if I am someone who can withstand hardships, and at home I would always use the standard of the small monk who cooks rice to restrain myself. Sometimes I would even be happy inside. "See how well I have endured? I don't even think about crying!" However, sometimes when I get sick of cooking I would think, "Whatever! I won't have to do this in the future!" The motivation for tolerating all of these hardships is not the Fa-validating "Forbearance" and "Compassion," but is for my own benefit so as to no longer have to bear hardships in the future. I am exposing this today because this attachment to consummation has brought about another severe attachment, that to happiness. It has created hindrances for my being diligent in cultivation, sometimes so much so that I do not wish to think about anything and simply want to sleep on it. Master has already taught us solemnly,
"If you are still unclear about what a Fa-rectification disciple is, you won't be able to step forward in the current tribulation, and you will be led by the human world's pursuit of comfort to "enlighten" along an evil path. Master's heart has always been pained by those who have fallen, and the majority were ruined by that pursuit." ("Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciples" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Once again, when the old forces are trying to pull me down, Master with his immense compassion has pulled me up.
At this point of writing I am awakened. I am a Dafa disciple of the Fa-rectification period. Master has carried so many burdens for me, to lessen the hardships on my cultivation path. Master has cleared away almost everything and saved me. However, how many sentient beings are still waiting for us to offer them salvation? The only thing we can do well are the three things that Master has told us to follow, and be qualified Dafa disciples in the Fa-rectification period.
This is my limited understanding. Please feel free to point out any inadequacies.