Meeting the Standard of "Selflessness and Altruism" with Regard to Family Relationships
(Clearwidom.net) As a non-practitioner, my wife often asks me to do this and that regardless of what I am doing. Sometimes I could not help her because I was doing the exercises or sending forth righteous thoughts, so she would be unhappy with me. When I did not have good "xinxing," I occasionally argued with her and made her angry. I did not think deeply about this issue and let it pass by day after day.
One morning, when I had just started practicing the exercises, I suddenly recalled Teacher's words, "selflessness and altruism." Momentarily I realized that Teacher was hinting to me that I was not compassionate enough towards my family members. I had attachments, and I had human notions. Deep in my heart I promised Teacher that I would follow His teachings, cultivate myself well, treat my family with more compassion, and become selfless and altruistic.
After further Fa-study and looking within, I realized that with regard to my family members, I did not truly understand the Fa. Instead I was trapped in the mentality of ordinary people and merely treated her as my wife and myself as her husband, or treated him as my son and myself as his father. This way I treated them as my family members and thought whatever I said or did to them was not a big deal. As a result, everything centered around "me" and whenever a conflict occurred, I took "me" as the top priority. For example, my reasoning was always, "I need to study the Fa, I have to practice the exercises, I have to send forth righteous thoughts, I am going to distribute truth-clarification materials, or I am going to clarify the truth, etc." With that notion in mind, I always believed that whatever I did was the most righteous and the activities of my family members were not as important. "You have to wait for me to finish my work and you cannot interfere with my work." That was my attitude before.
Of course, as Dafa practitioners, we must make doing the Three Things our first priority. However, part of the Three Things includes clarifying the truth to our family members, improving our xinxing in our family lives, and creating a peaceful environment at home for the benefit of Fa study and cultivation practice. I realized, "If I always think of myself and rarely consider others first, how selfish would I be and how could I behave as a Dafa practitioner? In some respects, I am not as good as an ordinary person, let alone worthy of the name Dafa practitioner with selflessness and altruism. How dangerous it is!" I was even a little frightened by the thought that I might have continued to hold onto my selfish attitude.
I am so grateful to Teacher for the compassionate reminder. Through diligent study of the Fa, I finally understand that family members are not simply my relatives, but are sentient beings that are waiting to be saved. Indeed, Fa study, exercises, and sending forth righteous thoughts are not supposed to be interrupted. It was because of my selfishness that the Old Forces often took advantage of me and interfered with me. As soon as I realize it, the interference naturally vanishes.
This does not mean that as soon as interference comes when we are doing the Three Things, we should just comply with our family members regardless in exchange for superficial peace. That would not solve the real problem. While looking inward and letting go of our own attachments, we must take every opportunity to clarify the truth to our family members and to explain to them why they should not interfere with our practice or sending forth righteous thoughts. When our deeds are righteous, our family members will be assimilated by the righteous energy field, and naturally the atmosphere will become harmonious.
This is just my personal understanding. If there is anything improper, please kindly point it out.