Improving Xinxing, Quiting the CCP, and Clarifying the Truth
(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Gong three years after I joined the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). Two years ago, I used a pseudonym to declare on The Epoch Times website that I quit the CCP and its Youth League, as well as the Young Pioneers. However, in an everyday person’s eyes, I was still a CCP member. Because the persecution of Falun Dafa practitioners did not appear severe at my workplace, and my salary and job title did not seem affected, I considered that my request to quit the CCP might bring inconvenience to the officials. Recently, some practitioners at my workplace were arrested for distributing “truth-clarification” materials. The officials tightened the situation, and “talked” with me several times.
When the persecution started on July 20, 1999, my Fa-study was insufficient and my “xinxing” level was low. I also did not truly realize what cultivation was. When everyone was asked if they practiced Dafa, I wrote a statement giving up the practice, although I still practiced at home. Later, through studying Teacher’s articles, I slowly came to understand cultivation and the Fa-rectification. I also came to understand validating the “Fa,” saving sentient beings, and the deep significance of a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. I realized that my previous action was actually yielding to the evil, something a Fa-rectification Period Dafa disciple should not do. Therefore, I wrote a Solemn Declaration.
I decided to clarify the truth and validate the Fa openly and nobly. When an official came to speak to me, I talked about the physical improvement I had experienced since beginning my cultivation. I previously had heart disease, insomnia and other diseases, and was pessimistic and depressed. After I started Falun Dafa practice, all these diseases disappeared, and my physical health as well as my mood became better and better.
The officials said, “You are a CCP member. Our nation does not allow CCP members to practice Falun Gong, so you have to choose between these two.” I said, “Then I will request to quit the CCP. I cannot agree with atheism, as I have experienced the existence of God.” They told me to write a statement requesting to quit the CCP. I also clarified the truth to them, but they would not listen, due to their deep poisoning by the party culture.
I immediately wrote a statement requesting to quit the CCP. On the following day, I was told there would be voting meeting to decide this. Upon hearing that, my attachment of zealotry surfaced. “I thought I would be reprimanded because of the request, and did not expect such a problem could be resolved so quickly. In this way, the blemish on me will be removed.” The old forces took advantage of my zealotry. Several minutes before the meeting, I was told it was canceled, that the Party Secretary would talk with me in person, and that a decision would be made afterwards.
Nothing happened for twenty days. During that period of time, fellow practitioners were concerned if something would happen. Some of my own human thoughts also surfaced. “The CCP is sinister. How can it allow me to quit so easily? What if it’s checking some evidence so as to threaten me to withdraw the request?” I also had the attachment of fear. “What if this causes further persecution? Since we can quit the CCP using pseudonyms, practitioners do not necessarily need to quit the CCP using their real names.” I wrote a short supplementary statement: “If officials have other options in mind, I will consider them and can withdraw the request.” However, I felt uneasy after writing this supplementary statement. I thought, “Isn’t this yielding to the evil?” so I did not submit it. Then I thought, “How can I not yield, and meanwhile avoid the persecution? If the evil did not exist, wouldn't the persecution be over?”
I suddenly realized that Teacher asked us to “Thoroughly Dissolve the Evil.” I decided to intensively send forth righteous thoughts, and I asked other practitioners to join me.
At first, I was no longer attached to the issue of quitting the CCP. Instead, I calmed down to study and memorize the Fa. I also intensified sending forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate the evil. Meanwhile, I looked within to see where I had loopholes of which the old forces could take advantage. Through further Fa-study and enlightenment from Teacher, as well as discussions with fellow practitioners and observation of some everyday incidents, I noticed many omissions in myself. They included not paying much attention to everyday work, having strong attachments to accomplishments, being attached to myself, competing with others, using radical or irrational words when talking with others, lacking compassion, seeking comfort, and sleeping when sending forth righteous thoughts or during the sitting meditation. After finding these omissions, I immediately started correcting them. I tried to balance my time better, and do well in every aspect.
Twenty days later, the Party Secretary asked me to talk with him. I was a little nervous when first receiving the notice, but then I sent forth righteous thoughts and asked Teacher to help me. I also kept sending forth righteous thoughts after arriving there. The Party Secretary said he had heard that I requested to quit the CCP and wanted like to know more. Since I was educated and clear-headed, he wanted to know why I wanted to quit the Party. He said he had just returned from a business trip. I told him about my physical improvement after practicing Falun Gong, as well as my belief in the existence of gods. I said that I could not agree with the CCP’s atheism, and that I experienced the existence of gods myself. The first day after reading “Zhuan Falun,” the insomnia that had bothered me for decades was gone. The heart disease and other diseases were also gone within several days. These facts made me believe in the existence of high-level beings beyond the realm of humans. The CCP is based on atheism, which is contrary to what I had experienced. The Party Secretary said he understood and agreed it made no sense to force me to believe in the CCP. He said my request would be approved through the regular channels, then he asked me not to gather with other practitioners and not to distribute truth-clarification materials. He said that if I were to be arrested, it would be troublesome to both myself and to the workplace. Two days later, I smoothly quit the CCP.
My quitting the CCP validated Dafa to a certain extent, and it was a shock to everyday people. They may wonder why Falun Gong is so powerful that one would give up Party membership. Some colleagues came to me and asked what had happened. I used this opportunity to clarify the truth to them. I had already told some close co-workers, friends and relatives that heaven will eliminate the CCP, and that one can seek a safe future only by quitting the CCP. I told them to look on the Internet for information for the 270 million-year-old rock bearing the characters reading that the CCP would be abolished. I told them to make sure to read truth-clarification mail or emails, and that one could follow the information there to quit the CCP. So far, four people have declared their renunciation of the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
Through this process, my xinxing has improved dramatically. Much of my attachment to fear was also eliminated. My belief in Teacher and Dafa is more firm. I realized that as long as we follow the requirements of Teacher and Dafa, things will have very good results, and even undesirable things can have a good ending. The critical thing for us is to let go of life and death, and to validate the Fa. If we truly meet the requirements for Dafa disciples, the evil will be completely disintegrated and the persecution will end.