Melting into the Fa and Walking Towards Maturity in Cultivation
(Clearwisdom.net) This past year, my biggest achievement has been that I have grown up psychologically from a child to an adult. I would like to share my experience s briefly.
During last year's summer break, I spent 40 days memorizing Zhuan Falun for the first time. After that I learned to study the Fa without my parents' supervision. However I was not able to take responsibility and let go of my attachments to do what I should do as an adult. Since I finished memorizing the Fa, my behavior has changed. I saved money from my monthly expenses and bought a printer with my mom. Also I bought 100 copies of a DVD and a box of printing paper for clarifying the truth to everyday people. After I read Master's new article "Pass the Deadly Test," I got rid of all obstacles and passed my own deadly test. These were minor changes compared to when my fellow Falun Dafa practitioners and my family members were arrested, which had the largest impact on me.
After they were arrested, they left a lot of unfinished business to be handled. My mom and I shared our understandings, improved together, and helped them to handle the remaining items. At our busiest time, my grandmother came to our home to prepare for an operation. A lot of things were also happening to my father's relatives. My mom and I knew that it was interference in the form of everyday people's matters. When we needed support the most, we failed to get it because of the fear among our fellow practitioners. We had to handle all those things one by one on our own. Everyday we felt like we were on a battlefield and felt very tired.
During this time, my mom and I also found the areas where we needed to improve the most, for example, we rely too much on others. We would be thinking in advance whenever anything happened. Because we had these kinds of thoughts, it turned out we could not get the help we needed.
I remembered one day that we needed to pay the rent for a fellow practitioner, for which we needed a large amount of money that our family could not afford. The deadline was getting close, and my mom and I asked all potential people (practitioners and ordinary people) who we thought could help us. However, the results were disappointing. Finally we found out where we should improve and sent out a thought, "The worst thing is that we will not be able to pay the rent on time. Nobody should interfere with us even though we have attachments. We will follow what Master has arranged for us." Because my mom and I let go of this attachment, we collected enough money on the morning of the due date. We really thanked our Master for all he did for us.
After we paid the rent and came back home, both my mom and I felt too tired to walk or speak, as if we had used up all our strength. We couldn't understand why we felt so tired even though we had only walked a few steps. We understood later that in the human world we only walked a few steps, but in other dimensions, we had a big battle with the evil that day. Both my mom and I were very happy that we passed this test successfully. We understood that we could not rely on others and that cultivation is our own responsibility. If other people help us resolve this, it is not ourselves who are cultivating.
When I look back, it is impossible for me to imagine that I had the ability to endure all these pressures. This year I have obviously changed. I know this is closely related to memorizing the Fa and passing my deadly test. The capacity of my heart increased, my ability to endure pressure improved, and I no longer cultivate like a child.
If something I have written is wrong, please correct me.
February 27, 2007