Using My Environment to Harmonize with the Fa and Save Sentient Beings
(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings revered Teacher! Greetings fellow practitioners!
The Falun Gong practitioners who have been assisting Teacher in His Fa-rectification could each write a book about their various cultivation experiences. The things I am sharing today are but a small portion of my cultivation experiences. There is lots of room for improvement in my cultivation, and I have a limited understanding of the Fa in many areas. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate in my understanding.
Obtaining the Fa
I obtained the Fa in 1995 when I was 25. I had acquired nearly all of the bad habits of my generation in mainland Chinese society. When first reading Zhuan Falun, I read it a couple of times, and was shocked that I couldn't understand it. The only lesson I took from the book was about eliminating attachments, but it was impossible for me to eliminate my attachments at the time. It struck me as odd that Zhuan Falun was the only book I couldn't understand. After all, I have read many kinds of books, including Buddhist scriptures, Taoist books, and the Bible.
Driven by curiosity or led by a predestined relationship with Falun Gong, I started reading Zhuan Falun every day. After two weeks, I finally realized that this is a book that teaches people about cultivation. Since I was a child I have been a theist and believed that a person can reach godhood through cultivation. I always wanted to have a teacher to guide me in my cultivation. Could this be it? Thus I began to cultivate under the tutelage of Falun Gong.
At first I met many obstacles because I had no idea how to cultivate my xinxing and didn't understand the content of Zhuan Falun, yet I am a very stubborn person. Once I make up my mind to do something, nothing can stop me. I refused to accept that I could not understand the book. Thus, I decided to memorize and transcribe Zhuan Falun. I even memorized "True Cultivation" from Essentials for Further Advancement by heart although I didn't understand it's inner meaning either. Yet every word I memorized entered my mind at night, each was one square foot in size and three-dimensional.
After work, I spent all my free time studying the Fa and practicing the Falun Gong exercises at home. Three months later, I was finally able to understand Teacher's books. From that point on, I was immersed in the joy of cultivation. Back then, I studied Zhuan Falun from cover to cover or watched Teacher's Nine-Day Fa lectures every two or three days. I also memorized the Fa between doing household chores. Sometimes when I was studying the Fa, I thought I heard Teacher's voice, guiding me to study each sentence. When that happened, I often cried until my face was covered in tears. I arrived at the nearest Falun Gong group exercise practice site at 5:00 a.m. every day, rain or shine, to practice the exercises before going to work. This behavior was exceptional for a person in her twenties like me. About 80 to 100 people would be at the group practice site to do the exercises, but on the windy or rainy days in the winter, the number of people would be small. I was always one of the few people who persevered despite the adverse weather. When I practiced the Falun Gong exercises outdoors in the middle of a gusty wind, I was surprised that I felt like I was enveloped in a warm spring breeze.
The sacred Buddha Fa was repeatedly shown to me. As a result, everything in the secular world seemed so obscure and unimportant. In personal cultivation practice, I hardly experienced any xinxing tribulations. Everyone bestowed a friendly smile on me. Even those people I had harmed in the past showered Falun Gong with praise in front of me and commented that I was a changed woman because of Falun Gong. These are magnificent manifestations of Teacher, who selflessly created all sentient beings.
Safeguarding the Fa
On July 20, 1999, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began to suppress Falun Gong. As a disciple, it was necessary for me to safeguard Teacher and Falun Gong. It was my responsibility and my mission. However, when I decided to go to Beijing to exercise my constitutional right to appeal for Falun Gong, I suddenly felt so weak that I almost collapsed. I felt as though my body could not bear the pressure. I was wet nursing my baby at the time, so I could not leave the baby at home. I decided to go to Beijing with my husband and our baby. I remembered the CCP's history of brutalities towards the Chinese people, and its slaughter of innocent, unarmed college students on Tiananmen Square on June 4, 1989. I thought we wouldn't return from Beijing alive. The three of us offered incense sticks to Teacher's photo and decided to travel to Beijing. Then my father phoned and said, "Leave the child with us!"
At the airport, I met many fellow practitioners who were also flying to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong and we encouraged each other. Suddenly a burden was lifted from my body. I was enveloped with an indescribable kind of joy. I felt as though every cell in my body was dancing with glee! Being able to go to Beijing to safeguard the Fa was the greatest source of joy for me. I had no fear or worry. In hindsight, the happiness must have come from melting into the Fa and being transformed by it.
Perhaps because there were a lot of practitioners flying to Beijing, the boarding process didn't occur. Instead, groups of policemen, one after another, arrived at the airport, and we were illegally arrested. During the interrogation, I repeatedly explained to the police what Falun Gong is. My thinking was clear and I felt that Teacher was right beside me. Later, the police decided that I must be one of the Falun Gong assistants, so I was interrogated by more than a dozen policemen at the same time. I decided not to answer any more questions. When the police were verbally assaulting Teacher, I refused to listen and left the room. The police asked me why I left. I said, "I don't want to listen to you because you are committing a terrible sin." At that point they stopped the interrogation.
On the second day I was in the detention center, the police started broadcasting propaganda that slandered Teacher and Falun Gong. I could not bear to listen, so I burst into tears, which shocked everyone around me. A fellow practitioner said, "Do not be affected. You must upgrade your xinxing." I replied, "They are attacking Teacher, how can I not be affected? This is my cultivation level!" It turned out that I was released the next day unconditionally. I was told, "You may go home and practice Falun Gong there."
Before the Chinese New Year in 2000, I attended a small Falun Gong experience sharing conference, where we exchanged our insights on how to validate Falun Gong in Beijing and the present environment there. I felt that I was lagging behind fellow practitioners, and was not worthy of being a genuine Falun Gong practitioner if I didn't go to Beijing to safeguard the Fa. I decided that I would travel to Beijing with my Falun Gong books and return home safely with them. I had a copy of Zhuan Falun and three poems from Hong Yin, including "Mighty Virtue," "Fulfilling the Wish," and "Assisting the Fa" when I excitedly boarded the train for Beijing. The police were checking people going to Beijing--but no one checked me. At Tiananmen Square, I noticed that it was crawling with special agents and plainclothes police who were checking tourists. I calmed down and kept reciting the Fa I had memorized. I approached a flagpole and decided to have everyone see that Falun Gong is irreplaceable to its practitioners. My husband and I stood side by side and started to practice the first exercise. The instant I closed my eyes, I felt as if I were huge and towered over the sky. I felt everything around me had disappeared. When I opened up my eyes, I was surrounded by policemen.
Inside a cell at Qianmen Police Station, at Tiananmen Square, I met practitioners from all over China. The steadfast faith and determination to safeguard Teacher and the Fa that we shared touches my heart to this day. Once again, I felt completely transformed. I had fulfilled my promise. I carried Falun Gong books to Beijing and returned home with them. No one searched me. A security guard at the airport found Zhuan Falun in my bag. It was wrapped in gold foil. A local policeman told the security guard, "Give the book back to her." On the plane the policeman asked my husband, "Do you have any Falun Gong books? Give them to your wife." I was dumbfounded as to why he would say such a thing. It turned out that the police took my husband aside but left me alone. However, my manager brought me back to work.
My manager asked me to put in writing that I would stop practicing Falun Gong. My parents were asked to "help" the manager try to coerce me. But I was determined not to cooperate. I remembered that a practitioner I met in Beijing once said, "I will not even draw a line on this paper." Back then we didn't know about sending forth righteous thoughts; I just kept thinking of Teacher. I told him, from my heart, that I would conduct myself as a practitioner should. My manager gave in because of my steadfast faith in Falun Gong. He told me that I could return to work on the next day. I thought this was the end of the test. Little did I know that my father would be angry when we got home. He threatened to beat me to death and told me to promise that I would not go to Beijing again. My thinking was very upright. I felt that making any kind of promise would be capitulating to the evil and that I would be unworthy of being a practitioner if I made any such promises. I told Teacher from my heart, "As your disciple, I shall conduct myself well and I shall never compromise." Finally my father passed out and collapsed on the ground. I felt terribly sad, but I didn't give in to his request. When he came to, he told me to leave and go back to live with my husband's parents.
When I went back to work, my managers repeatedly asked me to meet with them and told me about the CCP's policy on Falun Gong. I refused to listen. Instead, I explained to them what Falun Gong really is about. They said, "Your teacher has run to the United States. Why do you bother going to Beijing for him?" I replied, "My Teacher's going to the United States shows his compassion for China. If you should try to harm our Teacher, no Falun Gong practitioner would allow that. All the Falun Gong practitioners would stand in front of Teacher to protect Him. Now you have seen our steadfast faith in our Teacher." My manager asked, "Did your trip to Beijing have any effect?" I replied, "At least I have followed my heart." Since then, no one has asked to talk with me again. I continued studying Falun Gong books at work during the lunch break, yet no one tried to slander Teacher or Falun Gong in front of me.
Later my husband was imprisoned for a long time. I had to look after my child and go to work, so I neglected my Fa study and exercise practice. Consequently, I failed to guard my xinxing. I regarded all the xinxing tests as a form of suppression of Falun Gong. Finally I was unlawfully sentenced to serve time in a forced labor camp after I went to Beijing for the third time to validate the Fa by raising a banner. It was a heartbreaking lesson. It was all because I failed to study the Fa and cultivate my xinxing.
After my husband became handicapped from being tortured in the camp, he and I were both released. Because it was a challenge to look after my husband, I hardly had time for sleep for several months. I couldn't sleep for an hour without interruption. I was completely worn out and felt defeated. Yet I quickly became diligent in my cultivation practice again because of Teacher's many hints.
Exposing the Evil Persecution for the First Time
When I became diligent in my cultivation again, I often deliberated on how to be a Falun Gong practitioner during the Fa-rectification period. My husband completely depended on my care since he was handicapped. Looking after my young child was also a lot of work. During this period of adjustment, I diligently studied the Fa, practiced the Falun Gong exercises, and sent righteous thoughts. In fact, I never neglected to do these things. The local authorities kept a close eye on my family during that time. I saw them as my enemy. I didn't see that those people were being manipulated by evil beings in other dimensions, nor that the police and the neighborhood administration committee were sentient beings waiting for Teacher's salvation. When I found them following me, I said nasty things to them.
One day I had a discussion with a fellow practitioner, who asked me if I was interested in exposing what had happened to my husband and me because it was necessary for Fa-rectification. That was in 2002, when the persecution was more intense than it is now. My husband and I decided to expose the persecution using our real names. I was under tremendous pressure because the forced labor camp threatened to take me back if I should expose how they had tortured me. But I thought this would be the most effective approach to expose the wicked CCP's cruel persecution of Falun Gong practitioners and to prevent the Chinese people from falling prey to the CCP's lies. However, fear overwhelmed me when I finished writing the article. I was afraid that the wicked CCP might retaliate if I should publish it.
Later I learned that a few fellow practitioners who had shared their insights with me were unlawfully arrested at the same time and they were facing very severe torture. I decided that I must not sit at home and do nothing. I asked a fellow practitioner to send my article to the Minghui website. At the time I was looking after my husband and my child at home. I was under tremendous pressure, as I kept wondering when the article would be published and how the wicked CCP would respond to it. I cried a few times due to the intense pressure I felt. When I didn't know what to do, I would ask myself, "What are you afraid of? Have you done anything wrong? Did you publish the article for the sake of yourself? What does the Fa-rectification currently require? What does Teacher expect us practitioners to do? What do the sentient beings need? What is the wicked CCP afraid of?" Of course, it is certain that I have done the right thing. What really touched me was that when I reached the correct conclusion, the fear and pressure disappeared and were replaced by a feeling of calm and sacredness. I knew Teacher must have been watching my every thought and must have eliminated those wicked elements that had been interfering with my thinking.
After submitting the article, I sent righteous thoughts nearly every waking moment. I could feel that my righteous thoughts were very strong. For a very long time after the article was published, the special agents and police officers stopped knocking on my door. Fellow practitioners made a flier out of my article to expose the wicked CCP's persecution of my family and me. It was very effective when they distributed the fliers. Many practitioners from other areas dropped by to check on us.
Studying and Memorizing the Fa Solidly to Enrich Myself
Because I had veered off the righteous path, I was tricked into going to a local police station, where I faced beating and cursing by the police. My righteous thoughts came forward during the harassment, but I began to reflect on myself. Why was this happening? A fellow practitioner said, "You must have veered away from the Fa. Why don't you memorize the Fa?" I have memorized many of Teacher's articles, but I had never tried to memorize Zhuan Falun. When I decided to memorize Zhuan Falun, I felt a powerful attack from thought karma and I began to doubt the Fa. I knew the thought was not part of me. I knew it was a poisonous element lingering in my field. Finally I drove the doubt away from my field by memorizing the Fa. It was a very bitter experience. I felt as though all my cells and senses were soaked in the utter bitterness or as though my Main Spirit would leap out of my body at any time. I felt I could not bear the pain any longer. That bad thought was hard at work, repeatedly attempting to make me give up my cultivation. Every day I sent forth righteous thoughts in front of Teacher's photo with my eyes open. Every day I memorized the Fa. By the time I had almost finished memorizing Zhuan Falun for the second time, the thought karma finally disappeared.
The tribulations I experienced during that period of time are beyond description. Sleepiness was one of them. When I felt sleepy while memorizing the Fa, I sent forth righteous thoughts and targeted "sleepiness" until it disappeared. Then I would resume memorizing the Fa. Feeling weak was another interference. Sometimes when I started to memorize the Fa, I felt so weak that I could hardly hold up the book. Yet I continued to memorize the Fa until I stopped feeling weak. I built up a good foundation for my cultivation practice by memorizing the Fa, and it also strengthened my will. When I did truth-clarification, I no longer feared hardship. As long as I made up my mind to do it, I could persevere to the end and not worry that I might steer from the righteous path. I can now recite all of Zhuan Falun, although it took many tries to memorize it thoroughly. Since 2005, I have managed to memorize all of Teacher's Fa lectures, as well as part of the Q&A sections. I memorized each Fa lecture several times. I was often moved to tears by Teacher's enormous compassion.
Once, while sending righteous thoughts, I felt as if I was leading countless sentient beings away from a giant wall in the old universe. Sometimes I thought, if every practitioner were to memorize Zhuan Falun, the persecution of Falun Gong would have ended by now. During the process of memorizing Zhuan Falun, everything would be rectified, including our field, our corresponding fields in the universe, our surroundings, and all those people in the world who have a predestined relationship with us. I believe that memorizing Zhuan Falun will harmonize and complement the one body of Falun Gong practitioners, which will help Fa-rectification progress to a great extent.
I have validated my theory during my cultivation practice. Since I have memorized Zhuan Falun, I have been walking all the more steadily on my cultivation path. I re-hung Teacher's photos and the Falun picture on the wall. I offer incense to them daily. When the neighborhood administration committee and the police came to my home, they said nothing about these pictures. Yet they often commented, "You are truly remarkable. We all hold you in great esteem. If you run into any difficulty, we will do our best to help you." In response, I told them to stop persecuting Falun Gong practitioners. My steadfast faith in Falun Gong has changed them in a positive way.
Thoroughly Exposing the Evil Happening Locally
When Teacher said to "Expose the Evil Happening Locally to the Local People" (http://www.clearwisdom.net/emh/articles/2003/11/17/42315.html) on November 15, 2003, I thought at first that I had already done that. Now I realize that I was far from Teacher's expectations in this regard. Besides, my ideas about how to expose the evil didn't fully meet the Fa's standards. This time, I must use China's judicial system to file a lawsuit against all the government agencies responsible for the persecution of me and my family because it is an excellent opportunity to save the sentient beings in China's judicial system. If they understand the truth about Falun Gong and decide not to be involved in the persecution, or if they understand the cruelty of the persecution of Falun Gong and the tremendous losses it has caused the Chinese people, the persecution will not continue. At a minimum, they should acknowledge that it is a crime to persecute Falun Gong practitioners and that they will face lawsuits if they do so. This way they will at least think twice before persecuting Falun Gong practitioners. Besides, the persecution of me and my family is a very typical case, which will shock people who hear about it. I felt that my thinking, wisdom, and cultivation had matured.
At this time I felt that I must write an article about filing a complaint and a lawsuit. In each article I started by describing the magnificence of Falun Gong and explaining the freedom of religion. Next I described the details of the police and the prison guards' crimes against my family and me. I concluded in each article that those people who have committed crimes against us must be brought to justice. During the process of writing these articles, the old forces manipulated my family to interfere with my writing. First, my mother became ill and then my husband became ill too. They were both in mortal danger. In addition, my child had not started school yet, so I was looking after my child as well. I was overwhelmingly busy all of a sudden. Near-exhaustion made me think about giving up. But my good foundation of Fa study came to the fore. The Fa mechanisms reinforced my righteous thoughts and made me believe that I must do well in exposing the local evil. At the time I often recited two lines from a poem in Hong Yin II. Teacher said,
"Openly and magnanimously, I rectify the vast firmament
Great adversity accompanies me on my journey of heaven and earth"
("In One Thought" from Hong Yin II)
After writing an appeal letter, I delivered it to the city prosecutor's office. An employee there treated me courteously as I explained my case to him in great detail. He read and accepted the letter, but said he had to ask his manager for instructions. After I left, I felt the letter was like a sharp blade stabbing directly into the old forces.
The prosecutor's office did not process my complaint. Although I knew they were not going to do anything about my case, I had made the first step forward after all. I decided to continue. I took many photos of my husband, who has become handicapped from the cruel tortures he suffered while in detention. Those photos will shock everyone because they show the severity of the persecution of Falun Gong. I presented a different letter of appeal to a different department of the local government and clarified the truth to each, including the justice bureau, the public security bureau, the city government, the people's congress, the prosecutor's office, the appeals office, the political and legal committee, etc. During this period of time, Teacher repeatedly helped and guided me. One day when I was about to go out I suddenly felt depressed and stressed. I no longer wished to leave home. I even found an excuse for myself. I thought, "I will pick up what's left when my condition improves." I sat down and began to send righteous thoughts. Then I suddenly had a very strong feeling that Teacher was waiting for me at the door right this instant and looking sadly at me. Teacher wanted to take me, his disciple, to validate the Fa, but I didn't want to follow Teacher. Tears flooded my face right away. I said, "I shall leave home as soon as I finish sending righteous thoughts."
From that day forward, I no longer felt depressed or feel fear tribulations when I go to the government agencies to clarify the truth. Sometimes I take my child with me even on a snowy or windy day, but I don't feel it is a hardship. I feel relaxed because I know Teacher is right beside me, watching over me. The staff members from these government agencies always treat me with courtesy, respect, and sympathy. Some even told me plainly that the persecution of Falun Gong is illegal. One day I went to the justice bureau to appeal for my case. The chairman of one of the offices there met with me. After he saw the photos and read my letter, he asked, "Do you have any evidence?" I replied, "Every Falun Gong practitioner at the sites of such brutality will testify." He said, "I mean a witness from our side." I said, "The chief of the justice bureau is a witness. No one dares to hit my husband if he does not give the order." The chairman was speechless. Finally he said, "Go home and wait to hear from us."
That night I had a dream where the chief said, "I will no longer persecute Falun Gong practitioners. I was wrong. Will you forgive me?" Two weeks later the justice bureau called me and said that they had conducted an investigation and could not find any evidence to support my complaint. (I knew they were trying to cover up their crimes.) But he added that he was very sympathetic towards me and suggested that I get an attorney and file a lawsuit. Later a fellow practitioner released from a local labor camp said, "For a period of time (when I appealed to different government agencies) the camp stopped brainwashing or torturing Falun Gong practitioners, including those who were new to the camp. They just made them do hard labor. The environment improved a lot." It was just like what I had seen in the dream, the chief has stopped persecuting Falun Gong practitioners. He has been replaced.
One day I went to the state security team that sent my husband to the labor camp where he had been so severely tortured. On the way there, I felt very depressed. I felt as though my head was filled with bricks because I could not remember what I was going to say when I got there. I had a headache when I tried to think of what to say. Nevertheless, I went to the state security office. Once there, I saw the secretary of the city committee standing outside, giving a speech to celebrate the opening of a large corporation next door to the state security office. The area was thick with policemen, both uniformed and in plainclothes. There were many circles of policemen. The energy field was very evil. After sending righteous thoughts for a while, I approached the state security team. When they heard that I had come to see them about the persecution of Falun Gong, a group of policemen, led by their captain, surrounded me and questioned me in a rude manner. I thought, "A Falun Gong practitioner must have dignity. No one is entitled to speak to me in this impertinent way." I said, "I am not a criminal. You are interrogating me. I am a relative of a Falun Gong practitioner whom you have persecuted. If you didn't persecute my husband, I would not be here. Do not tell me about the law because you do not follow the law at all."
A policeman continued to be rude, so I questioned him immediately, "What is your name? Will you be responsible for what you just said? Are you speaking on behalf of anyone? Do you have the power to solve my problem?" He lowered his head and fell silent. The captain tried to sneak away. I finished what I had to say and told them the negative consequences of persecuting Falun Gong practitioners. A policeman asked me, "Is it true?" I replied, "I am adhering to the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance. I will not lie to you. From what has happened to my family, you can see that the tragedies you have caused by following the orders is irreversible." While the police were looking at my pictures of my husband, they whispered amongst themselves, "We would have never known." I knew they were shocked by my husband's condition.
The second time I went to the state security bureau, the police treated me warmly. The policeman that had previously been so rude even greeted me with a smile. When I left the bureau, they saw me to the door. I knew they had changed their opinion on Falun Gong and Falun Gong practitioners. That was precisely my goal.
Of course, there is room for my xinxing to improve. I argued with fellow practitioners when we had different opinions. At first, there were two prevailing attitudes among practitioners. One group fully supported my actions and the other were opposed to my plan and were waiting to see what would happen. Because some practitioners ended up being unlawfully arrested as they were clarifying the truth to the state security bureau, others believed that it was suicidal to attempt to save those completely incorrigible police. Naturally these practitioners since have changed their opinions. Later, when I was preparing to expose the local evil on a large scale over the Internet, some practitioners strongly opposed my plan. They thought I was taking too great a risk and I must move my entire family before they would grant me access to the Internet. In hindsight, it was somewhat ludicrous, but it goes to show the tremendous pressure faced by those fellow practitioners.
Falun Gong practitioners are one body. The evil beings from other dimensions feared being exposed and eradicated by our righteous thoughts, so they used our different opinions to separate us, to stop us from working cohesively, and to hamper the power of the one body. A practitioner once stamped the ground in frustration and exclaimed, "This is the conclusion of more than a dozen practitioners. How can it be wrong?" I could understand where they were coming from, but I didn't know how to untie the knot in their hearts. The person was reaching his limit of forbearance, and didn't even want to hear my explanation. I don't have Internet access at home. If no one would let me use their computer, I would not force them. I thought, "There have been so many obstacles. Does this mean it is not time yet?" On the other hand, I didn't want to lose this opportunity to validate the Fa and save sentient beings. If I should succeed in clarifying the truth to the government agencies, a large number of the evil beings lurking in our city would definitely disintegrate, which would mean that the sentient beings would have more opportunities to be saved. I guess I eventually succeeded because Teacher saw my steadfast faith and helped me achieve the goal. In fact, everything is controlled by Teacher.
When my articles and my husband's photos were published on the Minghui website, my fellow practitioners were very anxious. They wondered how I had accessed the Internet and told me I must move right away to avoid persecution. They found a furnished apartment and arranged for a car to take me there. All I needed to do was to pack and go. I would like to take this opportunity to thank those practitioners who worked tirelessly to make such a thoughtful arrangement. But I faced another pivotal choice. This time I again put Teacher, Falun Gong, fellow practitioners, and sentient beings as my top priority. I must not move now because I had created an excellent cultivation environment in my neighborhood. My neighbors, relatives, the street administration agents, and the local police station had all accepted me and regarded me as a very good person. They wouldn't understand if I suddenly disappeared. Moreover, this would only escalate the persecution of Falun Gong in my city, which would frighten the sentient beings. The evil beings from other dimensions would manipulate innocent people to commit crimes against Falun Gong and to hunt for Falun Gong practitioners. This would only result in disasters in our city. Besides, what is the purpose of moving? Why hide? How long must I stay in hiding? Would that be validating the Fa? Would I be safe if I strayed from the Fa by moving to a "safer" place? Every practitioner has a different path. It is imperative to use our respective strengths to validate the Fa to the greatest extent. I decided that moving would be a giant loophole and that Teacher would never arrange for me to go into hiding. I would follow only the path that Teacher had arranged for me. I would not move to another apartment, but would be perfectly safe. After all, everything I have is in compliance with the Fa-rectification requirements and reasons in the secular world.
Those fellow practitioners stopped pushing me to move. Instead, they started sending righteous thoughts for me. My husband and I sent righteous thoughts continuously to disintegrate the evil from 6:00 p.m. to midnight. We both felt enveloped with peace and calmness. That night I had a dream in which I was barefoot and took my child to a filthy and dangerous place. I thought for a while. Then I took a detour and reached a safe place. Since I started practicing Falun Gong, I realized that whenever I dreamed about being barefoot, Teacher was saying that I had made a righteous choice. This is because "without shoes" in Chinese sounds the same as "without evil." Later those practitioners acknowledged that not moving was the right choice and that it would be unthinkable if I had moved. The evil self-disintegrated when I refused to acknowledge it.
My family's case made a difference on an even larger scale. A practitioner told me, "I have distributed over 1,000 fliers containing facts about the persecution of your family." I would like to thank those practitioners who have been silently cooperating with me. A local police officer called on me and gently asked why I put our story on the Internet. I told him, "I know your boss has sent you here. My goal is to have the entire world know China has been persecuting Falun Gong." He didn't say much, but he told me that he will study Zhuan Falun well before he talks to me again. Later he told me over the phone, "We have studied your case. We have stopped (persecuting you) because nothing will work on you." I could feel that he now had a positive attitude towards Falun Gong. The secretary of the neighborhood administration committee said, "You have become a celebrity." Many non-practitioners told me, "I have read a flier about your family." Indeed, Falun Gong practitioners truly stand out amongst sentient beings.
Actually Teacher gave me a hint when I first started clarifying the truth to the local government agencies. I dreamed about holding something in my hand that saved many people's lives. When I first decided to clarify the truth to the local government agencies, I had already decided the outcome.
Fulfilling My Responsibility to Guide My Child's Cultivation
The children of Falun Gong practitioners are young Falun Gong practitioners. They have come for the Fa and they have their own responsibilities and missions. As a parent and fellow practitioner, I must help my daughter complete her mission and lead her to cultivation. Since my daughter was very young, I have taught her to memorize Hong Yin and played Teacher's Fa lectures for her. At one time she could recite Hong Yin from cover to cover. When I paused in the middle of reading Zhuan Falun, she could complete the rest of the sentence from memory. I took her with me when I went out to clarify the truth. Nowadays, she studies five pages of Zhuan Falun every morning before she goes to school. During the weekends and holidays, she studies ten pages of Zhuan Falun daily. Every evening she listens to one Fa lecture and does the exercises for an hour. She alternates doing the standing and sitting exercises daily.
Before my daughter started elementary school, she went to three different kindergartens. I clarified the truth to all of her teachers. When enrolling her in each school, I clarified the truth about Falun Gong to the dean and asked the school to treat her fairly even though she practices Falun Gong. The dean promised to treat her the same as the other children. Later, when her class was asked to join the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) Young Pioneer League, I took the opportunity to talk to the school principal and her teacher. I wrote an open letter to the school board, in which I explained how I am educating my daughter, I talked about the freedom of religion, described how my family had been persecuted, and the CCP's political movements and negative impact on society. The board agreed that my daughter did not have to join the Young Pioneer League. But the incident caused quite a stir among other parents. I took the opportunity to clarify the truth about the CCP's wicked nature and tried to persuade other parents to withdraw from the CCP and/or the Youth League and Young Pioneer League. Soon the entire school knew that my child is the daughter of a Falun Gong practitioner, that she refuses to wear the CCP's red neck cloth, and that she is spared from school inspections. In hindsight, it was not a challenge, but I did feel some pressure. However, a Falun Gong practitioner must not give up doing truth-clarification work just because of pressure. As long as it is righteous and good for the Fa-rectification, I must persevere and complete each task. In my opinion, it would be shameful for a young practitioner to wear the red kerchief, a symbol of the CCP. Therefore, I would never agree that every elementary school student should join the communist Young Pioneer League.
It was the first half of 2005, shortly after the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party had been published. The CCP evil specters were still rampant. When I was writing the letter to the school board, my head ached, my body ached, I had a sore throat, and couldn't concentrate. I knew the CCP evil specters were trying to sabotage me because I was disintegrating them by writing the letter. With reinforcement from Teacher, I managed to finish the letter in just four hours. It is still a good letter when I read it today. When I was about to deliver the letter to the school, I began having doubts. After all, the school agreed that my daughter didn't have to join the Young Pioneers. A fellow practitioner said, "Aren't you creating a reason for the authorities to arrest you?" That night I had a dream about two armies battling each other. When the battle was about to begin, I was running back and forth between the two opposing armies, not sure which side to join. I even had to shoot the first shot to start the battle. I understood what the dream meant. It was a hint from Teacher. The moment I delivered the letter, the righteous and the evil would begin a major battle and the evil would quickly be disintegrated. I asked my daughter to give the letter to her teacher. Meanwhile, many fellow practitioners and I sent righteous thoughts together towards the school to disintegrate the CCP evil specters and the poisonous disasters they bring to the school, the teachers, and the student's parents. My daughter's schoolteacher praised the letter and posted it in the school. This means the letter, a Fa tool capable of stopping and eliminating evil beings, was visible in the school. Once again, things were completed according to the needs of the Fa-rectification.
Using Every Opportunity to Directly Save Sentient Beings
I objected when my work contract was terminated. Once again, I wrote an open letter to the management and the employees, in which I described the facts of the persecution experienced by a colleague and fellow practitioner, and me and the losses created by the CCP's persecution of Falun Gong. I urged them to make the right choice. I delivered the letter in person to every department at work and clarified the truth. I went to management, the women's association, the handicapped association, human resources, and the dispute department to seek their help. Teacher said,
"You should view them with righteous thoughts, [asking yourselves,] 'With this trouble I'm facing, what's the correct approach to all that has to do with this interference, and how should I balance it against the goal of saving sentient beings? And how should I go about it in a way that's responsible to sentient beings, and view the occurrence of these things as good grounds for clarifying the truth, or as good opportunities to clarify the truth?'" ("Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006")
The first day I went to my work organization to deliver the letter, my colleagues didn't agree with my action. Although I have clarified the truth to my work organization a few times, they were very protective of their own interests, and they all supported the management decision to terminate my contract. It is a very profitable organization, so they were afraid of losing their jobs. Someone even called security. When the security guard came, he asked me if I was distributing Falun Gong materials. I was not afraid, but I felt very sad. Why couldn't I awaken their kindness? I asked the security guard, "Who asked you to come?" He tried to avoid the question, and said, "May I read the material?" "Go ahead," I replied. He read it carefully and said, "It's all right. I will leave." I was not in the mood to distribute the letter any longer, so I left with my child. I thought, "I will never come here again. I don't have to save you people."
On my way home, I was crying uncontrollably. I asked Teacher, "Are they truly incorrigible? They are in mortal danger because of their wrong attitudes towards Falun Gong practitioners. I, as your disciple, really don't want to see them being weeded out!" Have I done this in vain? When I decided to clarify the truth to my work organization, not one practitioner supported my plan. Some accused me of being attached to my job. Some accused me of being attached to my family. Some accused me of begging ordinary people for help. My relatives and my husband also criticized me. But no one thought about this from the perspective of saving sentient beings. I had but one thought: I can let go of myself for the sake of sentient beings! But I was disappointed by the attitudes of these sentient beings. I may as well choose not to save them and not to endure these pressures.
At home, I started to cry when I thought of the sentient beings at work. The next morning I continued to cry and felt a field of compassion . I knew my true nature was beginning to dominate. I must not give up half way and I must persevere. Clarifying the truth in person is more effective than many other forms of clarifying the truth. I cleared my thoughts and decided that I must not disappoint their expectations from eons ago. I decided that the old forces had no right to manipulate the people at my work unit to commit crimes against the Fa.
I sent righteous thoughts before I went back to my work organization. When I delivered the letter to every department and office, everyone smiled at me and politely accepted the letter. Their attitudes were completely different from before. I realized that I had disintegrated a lot of evil beings that were manipulating them, even though I had left for a while. When sentient beings are no longer manipulated by evil beings, they will naturally change their attitudes towards the Fa because they have all come for the Fa. I successfully distributed the open letter to the remaining offices. When I left my workplace, I turned around and looked at the ten-story building. I thought, "Now I will not have regrets because I have done my best. I hope that you will make the right choice." I know that the Fa will impact their hearts. From the look of appreciation in their eyes when they accepted the letter, I knew they were awakening. Things became much smoother after that.
When I sought help from the Women's Association, they made many good suggestions. When they saw me to the door, they made a heshi gesture out of respect. When the dispute office staff members heard my story, they were very sympathetic and offered free legal consultation. In short, when we are completely selfless towards the sentient beings and when we behave righteously, the sentient beings will also show their righteous sides.
It has been 12 years since I obtained the Fa. Teacher has transformed a person who didn't understand any of the Falun Gong books into a Falun Gong practitioner who can contribute to the Fa-rectification. Words cannot describe my immense gratitude for Teacher's grace. It is my only wish that practitioners in China will benefit from this Internet experience sharing conference, exhibit the Fa power of the one body of practitioners, end the persecution of Falun Gong, and save sentient beings.
Thank you again Teacher, for your grace! Thank you fellow practitioners.