(Clearwisdom.net) I began practicing Falun Gong in April 1998. In the beginning, because of Falun Gong's health benefits, and because I was an illiterate, I merely practiced the exercises. I did not participate in group Fa study until 6 months later. When others read the Fa, I just stared at the book. After I went home, I opened the book and tried to learn the words one by one. If I did not know the word, I looked it up in the dictionary or asked other people to explain. This way, I learned many words.
1. Learning new words by asking others, and finally able to read through Zhuan Falun
Just when we were getting into Fa study in earnest, Jiang's regime launched the persecution of Falun Gong. We lost our environment to practice and study together, which was a real test for me. At that time, I was still unable to read through the book, or do the exercises well. But all these could not sway my determination to cultivate.
When I picked up the Dafa books, I felt so sad that I was in tears. I studied the Fa at home by myself and looked up the dictionary when I came across words I did not know. But even looking up the dictionary presented a challenge. It could take me more than one hour to look up one word. I stayed up well into the night to look up the words, but I did not feel sleepy. When my grandson came, I asked him to show me and help me looking up in the dictionary. After I found the words I wrote them down on a piece of paper so I wouldn't forget. I invited the kids living downstairs to help me look up the dictionary and enticed them with nice things to eat. Although it was difficult, I firmly resolved in my mind: No matter how difficult, I would read through Zhuan Falun.
Seeing my resolve, Teacher helped me. Finally, not having had any schooling and in my sixties, I was able to read through Zhuan Falun. I was very excited and happy.
2. Getting rid of my attachment of fear little by little
The Chinese Communist Party (CCP)'s persecution of Falun Gong was relentless, we were intimidated and had to study the Fa and practice the exercises at home. Later, we started to distribute truth clarification materials. Sometimes, after I got materials from fellow practitioners, I went out to distribute them. In the beginning, I was so scared that my hands trembled so much I could not post the truth materials properly. The persecution in our region was very severe, and the CCP arrested many fellow practitioners here. After that we seldom made contact with each other because we were afraid. We could hardly obtain the new Fa lectures and the Minghui Weekly, but I still kept on studying the Fa.
The situation lasted for three years. One day an elderly female practitioner moved here. She had very strong righteous thoughts and was very warm and sincere. She vigorously rebuilt our environment for group Fa study and sharing. Only then did we step out of our self-imposed isolated personal cultivation into saving sentient beings and assisting Master in Fa rectification. She also took me with her to clarify the truth in public. However, I had very strong attachment of fear and had yet to have my family members understand the truth of Dafa, so sometimes I could not go with her, but she did not give up on me and always urged me to go with her. If I could not go with her, she left some materials for me to distribute when I found the opportunity, or helped by sending righteous thought.
Inspired by her, I broke out from my attachment of fear little by little and started to clarify the truth to others. To begin with, I clarified the truth to my relatives and friends. Then I expanded to include my neighbors, colleagues and others. However, cultivation isn't always smooth sailing. My neighbors noticed that I always went to group Fa study and started rumors about me, which invoked my attachment of fear again. I was so scared that I did not dare to go to group Fa study again. But I had benefited so much from group Fa study that I could not sit still at home. I realized that it was interference by my attachment of fear and I should let go of it. I did not do anything bad, so why not go openly? If they asked me about it, I should just take the opportunity to clarify the truth to them. Once my mind became upright, everything went fine and nothing untoward happened.
"The whole process of cultivation is the process to constantly get rid of human attachments."(Zhuan Falun, quote verified) Sometimes my attachment surfaced again when I sensed the slightest sign of trouble , and then I got rid of the attachment again, and my attachment of fear became weaker and weaker.
Sometimes I was very tense, but I managed to break through it step by step, convinced that I had nothing to fear now that I have Teacher and Dafa at my side. When I went to the market, got on a bus, went shopping, visited relatives and friends I always took with me truth clarification materials. In the beginning my relatives, friends and neighbors did not understand the truth, but after I clarified to them time and again, they understood more and more, and most of them had quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
Please kindly point out anything improper. Thank you, Teacher! Thank you, my fellow practitioners!
