Sharing My Experience in Dealing with Divorce
(Clearwisdom.net) My husband and I are a good match. After I started cultivation in 1998, I studied the Fa and practiced the exercises. At work I became very diligent and competent, and at home I took good care of my family. Every day, I was busy taking our child to and from school, doing all the housework, and more without complaining. My husband always praised Dafa at his job. He said that his wife had become very good tempered since she learned Falun Dafa.
When the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started persecuting Falun Gong, my husband changed totally. Out of fear of the CCP, he used various tactics to try to pressure me into giving up the practice. When all his ploys failed, he asked my friends and relatives to pressure me. When that failed, he started cursing and beating me. Finally he threatened to divorce me. On top of these ordeals, the CCP sent people to ransack our home, illegally arrested me, and took me to detention centers, forced labor camps, and brainwashing centers. Our marriage was falling apart, and many people tried to persuade him to divorce me.
At first, I agreed to the divorce and gave up everything that my husband wanted. I thought this was to let go of my attachment to human sentimentalities. However, my husband did not divorce me, he just threatened me with it. He always talked about divorce. Although my heart was not swayed, I always felt that the situation was not right. I knew that my husband was just throwing temper tantrums because I persisted in my belief. I told him the facts about Falun Gong but that did not work. Then I thought that maybe our predestined relationship had come to an end, so I agreed to a divorce. We divided up our belongings, and I wanted to take our child. He could not give up our child, so he did not want a divorce in the end.
This existence was really miserable. During "Fa" study I constantly evaluated myself: "What was wrong? Why was I in this tribulation for so long?" Because I was gradually elevating myself, everything started to change. My husband was changing, too, although it was not at a fundamental level. He did not interfere with me doing the exercises and studying the Fa, because he could not do anything about it.
Clearwisdom published an article called "Human or Divine, One Notion Away." After I read it, I enlightened to certain issues. The fundamental reason for my long struggle during this tribulation was because I always thought that I was not capable enough. My will was weak when faced with evil things. When I let go of my human notions and really regarded myself as a cultivator on the road to godhood, things improved during my Fa study; I started to gradually understand the deeper meanings of the Fa.
I corrected my understanding on the issue of divorce. Divorce is a twisted human notion. I had to first let go of this bad notion within myself and send forth righteous thoughts to cleanse myself. Then I communicated with my husband in my thoughts: "I will not allow you to turn your back on Dafa, otherwise you are harming yourself." Meanwhile, I sent forth righteous thoughts to cleanse the evil spirits and elements that were controlling and damaging my husband. Later I realized that I should tell my husband that divorce is a degradation of human morality. It is not a glorious thing and should not be mentioned casually. In the end, my husband actually turned toward goodness. He no longer mentioned divorce and was willing to accept the facts about Falun Dafa. Not only did he no longer interfere with me when I was doing Dafa work, he actually provided me with some help. He also liked to tell me about his work, and I gave him some good advice based on the reasoning of the Fa. He accepted my suggestions whenever possible.
I say to all fellow practitioners who are still in various tribulations: Please calm your heart, seriously evaluate yourself, and find your incorrect notions or attachments. It might help improve your situation if you could change your notions, your point of view, or your way of doing things, or evaluate the situation from the opposite direction. If you cannot understand the Fa, or if you cannot see the grandeur and all encompassing nature of Dafa, it must be because you are being hindered by your human notions.