Raising My Xinxing Level and Arriving at Certain Realizations During Fa-rectification Cultivation
(Clearwisdom.net) I began practicing Falun Gong in 1996. The authorities harassed me after the persecution began on July 20, 1999. After that, I was in an on-and-off cultivation state. In 2004, with Master's compassionate protection, I received a copy of the "Minghui Weekly" and gradually returned to Dafa. I would like to share my thoughts and experiences from these years.
1. Validating the Fa
When I first decided to return to cultivation during Fa-rectification, I had a strong attachment to fear. I read stories in Minghui Weekly about fellow practitioners' righteous thoughts and actions, admiring them but feeling ashamed of myself. I started clarifying the truth, but I was not conversant enough with the facts and my environment was not the best. Some kind co-workers reminded me, "As long as you know Falun Gong is good, you can practice it quietly at home. Be careful not to say too much!"
I had not studied the Fa enough and had poor comprehension of Fa principles. I was moved by my co-workers and felt that they were so kind. I thought we were trying to gain their sympathy and that if more people could accept the facts, the situation might get better. In fact, I relied on ordinary people to stop the persecution. I did not understand that Falun Gong practitioners are assisting Master in Fa-rectification and offering sentient beings salvation. Practitioners do not need to beg for people's support.
As I studied the Fa more and had a better understanding of Fa principles, I gradually did the three things better. Compassion gradually replaced fear. I truly hoped all sentient beings could be saved and have a good future.
After explaining the facts to people I know, I extended my efforts to more people. It was a breakthrough that required a calmer mind. I had to understand the other person's attitudes and acceptance level. In the process I further eliminated my attachment to fear. I have gained more patience and tolerance. The more I did, the easier it seemed they could accept the facts. This is also due to the further elimination of the evil. It is no longer easy for the evil to control sentient beings. It is also directly related to my improved cultivation state.
2. Establishing the Environment
In 2002, my employer temporarily suspended me from my job for a period of time. People came to my home each day trying to persuade me to quit Falun Gong. I did again not have a good understanding of the Fa principles. I was unable to explain their questions about the "self-immolation incident" well, and neither had I fully recognized the evilness of the CCP.
I follow the principle of "Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance," so my co-workers all know that I'm a good person. They thought they were trying to help me and protect me from the persecution and thought I was being very stubborn. When I thought about it, I harbored resentment and a competitive mentality and did not calmly and pro-actively explain the facts to them. I didn't realize they are sentient beings that needed to be saved. They are the ones the old forces want to destroy. Most of the time when conversing with them I tried to contradict their opinions. Therefore, for a while, they worried about me. They would approach me at each sensitive date. I realized I had to establish an environment to break through that state. I started explaining the facts to my co-workers, even to those who had previously tried to avoid the topic of Falun Gong because they did not want to cause any trouble.
I told them why I practice Falun Gong. I explained the "self-immolation incident" and talked about the CCP's many political movements throughout its history. Later on I exposed the evildoers' harvesting of living practitioners' organs. I thought that the more I could help people to understand, the better. It turned out that the more I explained, the easier it became. I also used examples and fellow practitioners' experiences published in the Minghui Weekly and tried to use them in my contacts with people. I explained things over and over, and to more and more people, from upper management to regular employees. I not only clarified the truth, but also used Fa principles to increase their wisdom and help them solve problems they encountered.
I suggested they follow the principles of "Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance" in their daily lives. Some co-workers were initially cautious but saw later that I was reasonable and rational. After they chatted with me, their issues were resolved and they became happier. They all wanted to talk more with me. Upper management now knows the truth as well and seldom bothers me any more. I can study the Fa during my break time at work every day now.
With Master's arrangement I received software that helped me break through the Internet blockade. I was able to visit the Minghui/Clearwisdom website for truth clarification information. I then thought how great would it be if my co-workers could visit this website themselves. so I decided to tell them about the software. They all were happy to use it because they wanted to know more about the facts. I know this is due to Master's mighty benevolence. Their ability to circumnavigate the CCP's vast Internet blockade eventually built a solid foundation for exhorting people to quit the CCP. Although some of my co-workers have not yet quit the CCP, almost no one is against quitting. Even though they have not quit yet they still say, "I know your intention for me is good. Let me think about it more."
My environment is currently very good. I know this is the result of following what Master taught me.
3. Establishing a Materials Site
The Minghui/Clearwisdom website suggested that practitioners establish small materials sites. I was fully equipped, and there were practitioners who could help distribute materials, so we established a materials site.
The operation of the materials production site helps improve my cultivation greatly. I originally treated self-interest lightly. I did not care too much when others took credit for my work. I thought I was not attached to fame and money. I merely used my skills in the technical arena and could usually solve challenging issues. Others see me as a technical expert, so I am well known for solving technical problems even outside of the company. I hence felt very content. When I tried to resolve an issue, I did not want to try a different approach until I exhausted the absolute last resort with the current method. When I was focusing on it, I did not tolerate any interference. If somebody bothered me while I was solving a problem, I would get angry and pick a fight with them. Others always tried to avoid me then. I assumed this was normal. Now that I think about it, this is an ordinary person's way of thinking. I was using an ordinary person's standard to measure myself. This was a huge loophole. It was an attachment that needed to be gotten rid of.
In fact, this hides an attachment to validating self. Although someone else might take credit for the final results, most of the people involved still knew it was I who made it happen. Hence, I had a sense of enrichment. The attachment to my ego resurfaced while working for the Dafa materials site. Every time when I hoped no one would bother me, I would get some unexpected interference. It was either telephone calls, or children demanding something, or my wife asking me to do something. I would then get very annoyed. The more annoyed I felt, the more trouble I would encounter. The machine often did not want to cooperate. I sent righteous thoughts to the machine, which worked a little bit better, but it did not solve the fundamental problem. I would stare at the machine for a while and was so fearful it might have problems. I did not look inward and did not realize that I needed to change my mentality and had to rid myself of my desire for recognition in order to cultivate to a point where no outside factors could affect me.
Prompted by Master's hints I finally found my loop-hole and eliminated it. Gradually the interference became less and less. The machine worked fine.
4. Writing for the Minghui Website
I experienced frequent insights while reading articles on the Minghui /Clearwisdomwebsite and thought I ought to write for the website as well. The realization I had during my cultivation might be helpful to fellow practitioners, although the insights are merely limited to my current level. I started writing for the Minghui website and eventually discovered that doing so is also a way to help improve my cultivation.
It was initially difficult to express myself clearly. But with Master's arrangement, two of my articles were published, which increased my confidence. I had previously admired fellow practitioners who wrote articles. Now that I had become an author, I realized that my previous mindset was incorrect. Getting the articles published does not mean the authors are special. It only means that the wisdom they have gained might be helpful for fellow practitioners and thus it was accepted by the Minghui editors. The authors might still have many attachments in other areas they need to work on. By comparing myself with them, I eliminated my mentality of blind admiration.
After my articles were published and I gained confidence, new notions emerged. I often wanted to write something. Once I submitted my articles I would eagerly wait and wait: has it been published yet? If it was not, I would feel discouraged. Later I realized that this was due to my showoff mentality and that I should eliminate it. Writing an article for the purpose of getting published is not the right mindset. After I eliminated this attachment, my articles started getting published again.
5. Remaining Unaffected When the Situation Changes
Going through ups and downs over the past years, the external environment has been difficult every now and then. With fellow practitioners' encouragement I had initially stepped forward to validate the Fa and explain the facts. I did not really know exactly what was going on and the external circumstances had not severely impacted me. It was only during certain sensitive dates that several people came to harass me. At the beginning, I was not exposed to the external environment changes because I had a strong attachment to fear. I might have been scared if I knew the details of the persecution. After I had eliminated portions of my attachment to fear I started facing bigger tests. These tests also made me more clear-minded and calmer when doing the three things. Now I am no longer impacted by any changes in the external environment although it does not mean I do not pay attention to personal safety. Regardless of how relaxed the environment is, I always remind myself of safety because I have a responsibility for sentient beings that have not yet been saved. I need to be responsible for myself, too. Paying insufficient attention to safety is most likely due to the attachment of zealotry and the showoff mentality. Even in severe conditions I still do what I am supposed to do, because I feel I should negate a severe condition. If one does not negate it, it will happen often and keep coming. If difficult conditions arranged by the old forces are absent, the truth explanation effort progresses, the three withdrawals increase steadily, and then the evil will be discouraged and no longer function. The evilness requires huge monetary resources to maintain its effect. If the evil sees that it does not work, it will stop. This is also the issue of breaking through the old forces' arrangements.
6. Making Breakthroughs in Ourselves
Finally, I am writing about how to make a breakthrough in myself. Because every practitioner has a different cultivation starting point, different background, and different attachments, and everyone experiences different tests, it might be easier for some practitioners to pass a test meant for them, and other practitioners to overcome a different hurdle. We practitioners have to pass all tests, regardless of how difficult. All attachments need to be purged. Master will help us in this area, but we cannot solely rely on Master's power without cultivating ourselves. If we could actually rid ourselves of our attachments on our own, we would feel great happiness after we improve, and we would make Master happy and he would worry about us less.
Just like when we clarify the truth, the practitioners who like to distribute materials do it a lot. Those who like to clarify the truth face-to-face are eager to do it. They all play a key role. However, if practitioners who like to distribute materials experience a breakthrough and become better able to explain the facts face-to-face, or those who focus on clarifying the truth in person are able to distribute materials, by my way of thinking, that means they have made huge progress in their realms. Every area where Dafa work needs to be done well yet it is difficult for some practitioners to accomplish is a great opportunity. It is also a direction we should go, a loophole we need to fix. If we could overcome this hurdle we would feel joy and a confident ease.
We have to advance in cultivation, even when facing challenges. It is easier said than done. For example, I am sometimes lazy, especially when practicing the exercises. When sending forth righteous thoughts at 12:00 p.m., I often fall asleep. I have made up my mind several times to do the exercises and send forth righteous thoughts better. But I still have not been completely successful, and still have the desire for comfort, which I will try my best to overcome.
Writing this experience-sharing article is also a breakthrough for me. I usually like to write something based on my experiences and thoughts. If there is a preset topic I find it difficult to write about. This is also why I never participated in a Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference on the Internet. In fact, I am restraining myself within my own human notions. This time, I didn't worry too much about the writing. The moment I saw the notifice I started thinking and preparing. My article was ready in a few days. This experience enabled me to clear my mind. The opportunities and turning points of advancement on Fa principles resurfaced in my mind, which gave me hints to identify hidden attachments. Some of the attachments have been eliminated. Some I have just discovered.
I share my experiences with fellow practitioners for mutual encouragement. Let us try our best to eliminate our attachments instead of waiting for Master to take them away for us. Heshi.