(Clearwisdom.net) I am 82 years old and started to learn Falun Dafa in 1996. In the past 11 years, I have experienced various stages of my cultivation path, including the happiness of obtaining the Fa, the fear after the persecution started, shaping-up after I became clearheaded, and confident ease as I advance diligently.
1. Life Reborn
I joined the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) Army, the Army of the Eighth Route, when I was still a teenager. Deceived by the CCP, I passively fought the Japanese and actively fought the Kuomintang National Party. After the CCP took over during the various political campaigns, coerced by the CCP, I either persecuted other people or was the subject of persecution for decades. As a result, I have committed many wrongdoings. Although I have received a few "honors," I suffer physically from a dozen ailments including heart disease, intestinal ulcers, and other chronic diseases. To recover my health, I took many different medications and practiced all kinds of qigong, but without results. In the heat of summer when people turned on their air-conditioners, I had to put on my quilted jacket and turn up the fire to keep warm. I thought that I would die at any time.
One morning in the spring of 1996, I came across an acquaintance who had lived on medications like I did yet looked very healthy. I was surprised and asked her to explain. She told me that she had been practicing Falun Gong and regained her health shortly after she started to practice. Additionally, she came to understand the purpose of life. She recommended Falun Gong practice to me, and I said that I would try.
The following day I went to the practice site. I learned the exercises in the morning and watched the video of Teacher's lectures in the evening. All of a sudden, I realized the source of my tribulations. I was standing at a much higher level and my body experienced transformational changes. I started to have a sense of hunger after suffering from a bloated stomach for years. My bowel movements became normal. I felt very energetic and could eat many things that I couldn't previously. My family was quite impressed. After about a month, the ailments that I had for years just disappeared. The marks from age on my face faded. My skin became smooth and radiant and I felt ever so light-hearted and light-footed.
After about 40 days of practice, fellow practitioners asked me to talk about my experience. To validate Dafa and thank Teacher, before I spoke, I jumped up from the ground and performed a perfect martial arts kick ( I was 71). Fellow practitioners witnessed a dying person coming back to life, which spoke volumes about Teacher's mercy and the extraordinariness of Dafa.
In the CCP system, because I fought the Japanese, I have many special benefits. For example, all my medical expenses were covered, and I received a few hundred yuan each month to hire a nurse. I am entitled to long-term care in luxurious facilities. After I started practicing Dafa, I no longer took advantage of these benefits. In 1998, I turned down the nurse allowance as well as the bed in a long-term care facility and saved my employer a great amount of money. My colleagues were very impressed with what I did. When the persecution started, they saved me. This helped me a great deal when I explained the truth about Falun Dafa work in my workplace.
Teacher gave me a second life. I felt so privileged that I had found the law of the universe while still alive. I was very grateful to Teacher. I decided to cultivate myself diligently and "assist the Master as he journeys in the human world." ("Assisting the Fa," from Hong Yin) I spent my time studying the Fa and doing the exercises, between visiting friends and relatives, and promoting Dafa so that more people will know about it. In those days, my schedule was packed every day. I felt that I was elevating day by day,and my human body was transforming into a divine body. Those few years were the happiest of my life.
2. Becoming Clear Minded
In 1999, things changed all of a sudden. The CCP and the Jiang regime combined to persecute Falun Gong. All media organizations were mobilized and no resources were spared in demonizing Falun Gong. With pressure from all levels of the CCP, they implemented brutal methods to deal with practitioners, who are the most non-violent people. Large numbers of practitioners were illegally arrested, "illegally detained," sentenced, or worse, beaten to death.
I was shocked. Why did the Party do this to such a great practice where everyone gained? I could not understand it, but because of the intense pressure of the persecution, my self-protective survival instincts took over. Having lived so long under the control of the CCP, I regarded it as a persecution at the human level. I knew only too well how bad the CCP could be. Fear overwhelmed and suffocated me. I jumped if the phone rang for fear that the public security bureau was looking for me. Whenever I saw uniformed police or a police vehicle on the street, I trembled. I thought that they were after me.
I shamefully chose to survive rather than to step forward and safeguard the truth. I turned in all of my Dafa books. I ceased reading, practicing the exercises, and seeing my fellow practitioners, much less speaking up for Dafa. Extremely fearful yet with respect for Dafa deep in my heart, I was in pain.
Teacher said,
"If you do not follow the requirements of the Fa, you are not a practitioner of Falun Dafa. Because you want to be an everyday person, your body will be reset to the level of everyday people and the bad things will be returned to you." ("Lecture 2," from Zhuan Falun)
Gradually my ailments came back, and I walked around in a daze. I could not eat or have regular bowel movements, and my health deteriorated. Then I suddenly woke up. My life was extended because I had obtained Dafa, otherwise, I would have died several years ago. What was the point of living if I was away from Dafa? I wanted to continue to walk the path of cultivation and follow Teacher. So I secretly borrowed a copy of Zhuan Falun and practiced at home every day. My condition improved, but in the end, fear still controlled me. I didn't want to go out to clarify the truth. I only wanted to take from Dafa, not give. Looking back, I am so ashamed of myself. I could not face Teacher or Dafa.
Teacher has infinite mercy for me. Twice I was in very dangerous situations when Teacher protected me, took me to safety, and reminded me to do better. Once I was hit by a motorcycle and thrown a dozen yards through the air. I was over 75 then, but I was not hurt. I enlightened to the fact that while Teacher was protecting me, he was also reminding me to wake up and to come out to validate Dafa, stop the persecution, save people, and consummate our own world.
At that time, fellow practitioners were also helping me. They gave me copies of Teacher's new articles and the "Minghui Weekly" and shared their understandings with me. I was deeply shaken and inspired, and I studied the Fa again and again. I gradually became clearheaded, and I came to understand the prehistoric vows we made to assist the Teacher in Fa-rectification, the meaning of cultivation in the Fa-rectification period, the viciousness of the old forces who attempt to interfere with the Fa-rectification, and the sacredness and urgency of saving sentient beings. I started going out and tried to catch up with the progress of the Fa-rectification.
I was afraid at first and was always looking over my shoulder when I went out to talk to people. I decided to do something not as challenging at first. I started with my friends, relatives, and colleagues. After I had more experience, I started talking to strangers face to face. I went to construction sites and to the rural areas. My fear diminished and my righteous thoughts got stronger as my efforts became more effective.
In March 2006, I traveled on my motorcycle to the village where I was previously stationed while in the army, and I tried to persuade people there to quit the CCP. Although I had not been back for 20 years, many older people still recognized me. Those who knew me all came to see me. I started by talking about the issues people were concerned about, such as corruption and the degeneration of the moral standards, then moved on to the real issues. In two hours, many villagers realized that Falun Gong was good, that it is really illegal to persecute Falun Dafa, and that we should not go down with the CCP. Many expressed their wish to quit the CCP. One cadre said, "Please quit for me and use my real name." Many asked for a talisman (1), and some wanted to begin Dafa cultivation. A few villagers invited me to their homes to have a chat. I visited each and every one of them. When I left the village, it was getting dark and some villagers saw me off and asked me to come back some time.
3. Studying the Fa
Teacher has emphasized the importance of studying the Fa, so I tried to study the Fa every day no matter how busy I was. I shared with fellow practitioners, following Teacher's requirements and looking inward unconditionally, rectifying my own speech and actions, eliminating the interference, and immersing myself in the Fa.
At first, I only studied one lecture of Zhuan Falun per day, then read articles from the Minghui/Clearwisdom website and truth clarification materials. I thought I was doing okay. After sharing with fellow practitioners, I learned that some practitioners study at least three lectures a day, and I was very impressed. Teacher said to "Focus on how you study and cultivate" ("Solid Cultivation" in Hong Yin), so I increased my time for Fa study and read three lectures daily. Later, I found out that some practitioners were memorizing the Fa. I thought, "I am in my 80s. How can I memorize such a big book? How long would it take me?" I was not confident. Then a 70-year-old male practitioner shared with me. He did not know many characters, but after starting cultivation, he could read all the Dafa books. He started memorizing Zhaun Falun and felt that he enlightened to much more. Inspired by him, I started to memorize as well. At first it was very difficult, but I did not slack off and was able to do it better and faster. At first I memorized one page a day, then two pages a day, then three and four. From 2006 to now, I have memorized it four times.
It is very different when you are memorizing the Fa. I came to understand many Fa principles that I did not previously understand. When faced with problems and conflicts, I would remember a paragraph of Teacher's Fa so I could quickly, see it from the Fa, and reposition myself to dissolve the conflict.
My physical condition improved after I started memorizing the Fa. I now have fewer wrinkles on my face and feel energetic. At home, I am responsible for doing household chores, shopping for groceries, and looking after my wife. Every day I take time to clarify the truth either in the city or in the rural area by motorcycle. Although I do not have time to rest, I hardly feel tired.
Through studying and memorizing the Fa, I have gained a rational understanding of the deeper reason for the tribulations and of the evil and unscrupulous nature of the CCP. I joined the CCP during the war against Japan when I was 17. Based on my own experiences inside the CCP, what is described in the "Nine Commentaries of the Communist Party" is all true.
For example, the Nine Commentaries points out that the CCP's "war" against the Japanese was only a pretense. In fact, they were all geared up for a civil war. At that time, my hometown had fallen to the Japanese. I joined one of the troops of the Army of the Eighth Route. In the seven years I was there, we did not fight the Japanese once. The Japanese were inside the city and the CCP were outside the city. They did not engage in any fighting. Later, a brigade from the National Party moved in to fight the Japanese. The CCP sniped on them and they were caught unaware. We fought for 24 hours and the Kuomintang Brigade was destroyed. The head of our troop said that they were all "reactionaries and should be killed sooner or later."
Additionally, the Nine Commentaries states that the CCP grew poppies and produced and trafficked in drugs to cover their expenses. I was responsible for purchasing and distributing the drugs. For decades, I have treated this as a top-level secret of the CCP and never disclosed this to anyone. In fact, drug production and trafficking were prevalent in all areas occupied by the CCP. As soon as the CCP took over and started the campaign to crack down on the anti-reactionaries, all those merchants who bought marijuana from us were executed. While they were being executed, they screamed, "I was helping the CCP to buy the marijuana. You should not kill me."
As a result of Fa study and memorizing the Fa, the poisonous elements of the Party culture in me were constantly being eliminated. My faith in Teacher became stronger and I adhered closely to the Fa-rectification. Due to my special experience, I was effective in exposing the nature of the CCP and counseling people to quit the CCP.
4. Ease
My life was extended by Dafa and given by Teacher. Every day of my life is arranged by Teacher for saving more people and to fill my heavenly home with sentient beings. I enlightened that the processes of saving the sentient beings are the processes of cultivation as well. All attachments can only be removed through our efforts to save sentient beings. At the same time, only when we remove all attachments can we have compassion to save the sentient beings. As I do the three things, I look inward constantly, eliminate attachments constantly, and assimilate to Dafa. Gradually I have become more compassionate, mature, rational, and at ease with everything I do in saving sentient beings.
When someone reported me to the police, I found my attachment to fear. Whatever I am afraid of appears. When I was interfered with and threatened while clarifying the truth, I found that I had a sense of competitiveness and hatred towards the CCP. When I did well, I was ecstatic. When I did not do so well, I was frustrated. I found that I was attached to doing things in order to have more mighty virtue. I had a sense of superiority and zealotry. I have exposed all these attachments by sharing with fellow practitioners. I have tried to use righteous thoughts to suppress them, and I eliminated the dirty human mentalities and purified my own thoughts.
Since then, I feel that I have become calmer when I clarify the truth, with more wisdom and flexible methods. I don't talk down to people, I try to engage them in conversation so they can express their opinions. Sometimes it goes very smoothly, but when it does not go well, I avoid certain issues and look for other ways. I end by allaying their concerns in lighthearted words, and as a result, many are saved.
I talk to people from all walks of life--government officials, businessmen, the unemployed, peasants, vendors and garbage collectors. They all have a special predestined relationship with Teacher, and they should be saved. I basically talk to everyone I meet.
The above thoughts are from my limited understanding. I wrote it for Teacher as a summary of my cultivation and to share with my fellow practitioners. I have had my ups and downs and have learned my lessons. I feel that I still have to measure up to Dafa and should do better, as do my fellow practitioners. At this point, the CCP is falling apart and Fa-rectification will be here at any time. I still have so many attachments to eliminate and so many more sentient beings to save.
Note:
1. Talisman - In China, practitioners sometimes "clarify the truth" by giving people something small to wear or cherish, bearing a few words reminding them of the goodness of Dafa.
