Letting Go of Emotions and Cultivating Compassion
(Clearwisdom.net) Cultivation in Falun Dafa is a process of eliminating attachments to fame, personal interests, and emotions amongst ordinary people, so that we can elevate to a higher realm. Before I practiced cultivation, I was very focused on relationships. I had deep attachments to my parents, siblings, husband, and child. It was very muddled. Love, affection, hatred, and bitterness were like ropes that tied me down. After I began cultivating, I knew I needed to let go of these, but I was unable to completely abandon them. Through continuously studying the Fa, I am gradually stepping forward from humanness. I would like to share some of my cultivation experiences.
- Letting go of my attachments to my late mother and using compassion to guide my stepmother towards cultivation
In my family, I was most attached to my mother. I don't know what kind of predestined relationships we had in the past. Since I was very young, I knew to take care of my mother and help her with housework. I also chatted with her often and told her everything that was on my mind. There was nothing we didn't share. I deeply understood and appreciated how much she suffered for our family. She was also a cultivator. However, because she was too attached to emotions, she wasn't able to be diligent in her cultivation in Falun Dafa and neglected Fa studies, righteous thoughts, and truth-clarification. As a result, she was taken advantage of by the old forces and passed away two years ago.
Just one month after she passed away, my father remarried. They both wore new clothes and looked happy. When I thought about my mother going to work in ragged clothes, my heart was pained. But I reminded myself that I was a cultivator. I decided not to cry or make a fuss. Instead, I comforted my younger brother and sister and told them we were not just ordinary people. We needed to have high requirements for ourselves according to Master's Fa. My father and mother's predestined relationship in this world was over. It was time for them to part ways. Everything that has happened was guided by predestined relationships.
My mother suffered all her life. From the perspective of cultivation, it was a good thing and probably brought her to a better place. Before she left, my son saw through his celestial eye a carriage decorated with red and purple flowers flying in the sky. Then we heard sounds from another dimension that resembled a bird chirping. We also saw a crane flying from southeast to northwest. It stopped by our house and called three times.
With regard to my stepmother, I just thought that whoever came to our family had predestined relationships. Therefore my siblings and I needed to demonstrate the true nature of Dafa disciples. We had to make certain our stepmother didn't misunderstand Falun Dafa. Therefore, I took care of her in her daily life, as though she were my biological mother. (Of course, sometimes in my mind there was still a distinction, and I need to continue cultivating on this.) Later, I helped her quit the Chinese Communist Party and clarified the facts about Falun Dafa.
Last winter, she lost her ability to work due to spirit possession of her body. I talked to her more about Falun Dafa and what Master said about spirit possession and its dangers. After our discussion, she decided to begin cultivating as well. Our compassionate Master quickly cleansed her body. Now she feels light all over and is able to work again. Because of the persecution, I cannot continue working anymore, and my father had some complaints. As I was writing this, I realized that I still needed to clarify the facts more deeply and more thoroughly to him. I still had some disappointment and resentment in my heart due to the fact that he remarried so quickly after my mother's death. Sometimes I was cold to him and didn't want to take care of him; I was using human methods to hide my attachments. I have not been as compassionate as I should to him. This is something I still need to cultivate on.
My stepmother already had some understanding of the Fa. I encouraged her on her path of cultivation, telling her that no matter how difficult the circumstances, she must not be interfered with and must cultivate firmly. Actually everyone we encounter has predestined relationships with us. We must not treat them with human attachments. All sentient beings are suffering in a maze. As Dafa disciples, we are the most fortunate. We can cultivate greater compassion only when we let go of human emotions.
- Letting go of attachments to our children, taking full responsibility as a practitioner, and taking care of young practitioners in our families
Due to the persecution, Dafa practitioners' children have endured misunderstandings, mistreatment, and abuse by ordinary people, just as adult practitioners did. When Dafa practitioners were forced to leave their homes, the children had no one to take care of them and suffered from poor nutrition and a lack of clothes. As a result, when Dafa practitioners return home, it is easy for them to fall into the trap of emotional attachments. They often give the children everything they ask for and try to provide the best food and clothes. I myself have done this, too. Fortunately, Master awoke me just in time. I asked myself, "What is truly beneficial to the children?" Material wealth and comfort are only in passing. The best thing we can do for our children is to help them obtain the Fa and cultivate diligently, so that they can return home with Master.
Now my son and I study two lectures of Zhuan Falun almost every day. We also remind each other to be diligent in everything we do. We use Fa principles to guide each other to let go of human attachments. I also take every opportunity to lead him to validate the Fa and clarify the facts. Now he has also started practicing the exercises.
- Letting go of the attachments to my husband and harmonizing my family
Initially, I began practicing Falun Gong because I felt that I was often emotionally hurt among ordinary people, and that I didn't have any affinity with anything in the world. Although through cultivation, I gradually eliminated the degenerate matters in my mind, I still held grudges against my husband. I didn't really want to take care of any housework. Every day, I just read Dafa books and hoped to achieve consummation sooner so that I could leave this family. I had put my responsibility to the family on the opposite side of Dafa cultivation. Because of that, even though I could treat everyone else kindly, I had extremely high standards for my husband and wanted him to be perfect. We both struggled, suffered, and hurt each other. Neither of us felt that the family was harmonious.
My husband was into gambling. I first started arguing with him, then gave him the cold shoulder. Then I began ignoring him. Later, I felt the relationship was hopeless, and decided to distance myself from him. I thought that I had let go of my emotions. As I studied the Fa and cultivated more, I realized that I was still within my emotions. He had his own personality and a path that had already been arranged for him. He was already a good person for having righteous thoughts about Dafa. What else should I look for?
Isn't this what Master looks for in people in the Fa-rectification? Why couldn't I treat him with the compassion of a cultivator? The so-called conflicts and hurt emotions were due to my attachments. Nothing is coincidental on my path of cultivation. If my heart is moved by something that is not related to the persecution, it must have touched a deeply rooted attachment of mine and showed me what I needed to eliminate. In the future, I will not be trapped in emotions or use human ways to cherish my predestined relationship with my husband. I should be kind to everyone, let alone the person who has such a strong predestined relationship with me.
After I gradually let go of my attachments, my husband's attitude changed, too. I realized that everything around us is created by Dafa practitioners' minds. I deeply hope that he can return to the path of cultivation. He is able to understand and follow a lot of the Fa principles, except that he is too lost among ordinary people. Actually his life is quite painful and pitiful. Master does not want to leave any practitioner behind. He is worried about us. I should treat my husband with greater compassion. Now I have taken up all the housework in my family and am very considerate of him in our daily lives. I calmly help him correct deviated notions among ordinary people and guide him on the right path. I hope he can be a genuine disciple of Master's and not miss this extremely precious opportunity.