(Clearwisdom.net) CCP party culture causes us to display many types of inappropriate thoughts and conduct. I used to think that all we needed to do was to keep eliminating these inappropriate things in the process of cultivation. As for what effect it could bring to our cultivation, I believed that the poisonous CCP culture would prevent us from being able to recognize our attachments, and that was all. However, through studying the Fa and sharing with fellow practitioners, I came to understand that the danger from the CCP culture is not as simple as I had thought.

A few days ago, I felt that I had been interfered with by the party culture very much. I then read the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and Disintegrate the CCP Culture several times. While I disintegrated the CCP cultural elements within me, I found that I was often interfered with by a kind of unusual thought: "the CCP culture is comprised of various thoughts forced into the minds of the people in China by the wicked Party. Then, is Falun Gong also instilled into the minds of the practitioners through having them constantly read the books?" When I started to have this thought, I was scared and I quickly rejected it. I thought that this happened because my mind was deeply poisoned by the CCP culture. I then read more articles about disintegrating the CCP culture. However, the thought was getting stronger and stronger and I could not eliminate it by simply sending righteous thoughts.

Something happened which helped me understand why this thought had occurred. Six people who used to be practitioners and who were even considered to be firm practitioners were "transformed" by several people who had deviated from the principles of the Fa. This had happened over little more than two weeks! Afterwards, fellow practitioners shared understandings and we all thought that this had happened because those who were "transformed" had not studied the Fa well. However, the question had not really been resolved in the depth of my mind. I thought that these people had cultivated for probably more than eight years and through such a long period of studying the Fa they should have reached certain understandings about the principles of the Fa. But, why did they fail to withstand the nonsense from the people who had deviated from the principles of Dafa? If some of them did not read Dafa books, could it be that all six of them did not read them? I would say that they had probably made strong efforts reading the books. But where was the problem? Very often what the people who deviated from Dafa like to take advantage of is that we have doubts when we study the Fa. I once also deviated from the principles of the Fa, and with my understanding of the Fa at that time, the doubt could not truly be resolved. Actually, during the course of cultivation, one can have many doubts and some of these doubts might even interfere with the righteous belief of that person toward Dafa.

For example, when fellow practitioners who had contributed greatly doing the three things were arrested or lost their lives from illnesses, although I had said it was because they did not learn the Fa well and could not let go of attachments for a prolonged duration, the doubts in the depth of my mind were still not resolved. I often thought about these practitioners. In order for these thoughts not to interfere with my Fa study, I would hastily reject these thoughts. However, when hearing the nonsense from the people who had deviated from the Dafa, how they "completely" explained these doubts, I had unknowingly fallen into the trap.

I think that actually every fellow practitioner could easily recognize, in the beginning, that these people who had deviated from the principles of Dafa were talking nonsense. They quoted Master's words out of context when they talked. Together with my desire to resolve my own doubts, I gradually believed their nonsense. Influenced by empirical science, people tend to want to prove that what they want to do is correct, before they do it. However, we all know that the phenomena that occur during cultivation cannot be explained with the current knowledge and theories of science. However, because I was attached to the empirical science (I tended to believe only what I could see) and I could not resolve my doubts with ordinary human knowledge, I could not let go of them. Yet, since I understood that Dafa is a righteous way, I simply rejected these thoughts with much effort when they emerged and tried not to think about them.

When I thought about this, I suddenly came to understand why I had these thoughts. In my routine Fa study I had many questions, and because I was afraid of not respecting Dafa and Master, I rejected these questions right away. It looked like I was firm in my belief in Dafa. However, the rejection originated from various habitual thoughts which were formed under the influence of the party culture -- "Not to have a thought that the CCP does not allow". Afterwards, I carefully looked back on my cultivation path and I found many manifestations of these types of thoughts.

For example, when I said something wrong, I did not think about whether it could cause adverse effects to Dafa; instead I worried about whether I would be punished by divine beings. I only did those specific things which had been affirmed by Master. Regarding things that Master had not mentioned, I did not even dare to think about them. For example, when fellow practitioners proposed different ways to clarify the truth, I would hesitate until some articles introducing similar methods had been published on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. Only then did I feel comfortable about doing it. My mentality was the same as the mentality formed under the party culture that "to only do the things the CCP allows and not to even think about the things the CCP does not allow". When doing the three things, I did them with the same mentality I used to have when I finished a task for the CCP. I blindly did them and if I failed to do something, I was afraid of the consequences instead of worrying that the time for saving people had been lost. When I saw fellow practitioners being persecuted, I was as numb as those people who were watching the CCP killings. When no persecution took place for a short duration locally, I thought that the local police were pretty good and so on, which was a typical Stockholm syndrome: "The evil party has killed many people, but they did not kill me and I should thank them for that." I was always afraid of doing something wrong and afraid of my thoughts deviating from Dafa, due to a habit I had formed under CCP rule -- I used to restrain my own thoughts. I came to understand that as a Falun Gong practitioner, I should look inside and search for the cause with a rational and clear mind.

When I looked at Master's picture, the feeling I had was not always one of auspiciousness and harmony; instead many times I had an unexplainable feeling of awe. When I read articles written by fellow practitioners, such as "Let Us End the Persecution Now", "Allow Evildoers to Learn from the Experience of Immediate Retribution for Persecuting Falun Dafa Practitioners" and so on, my first thought was about the daring of these fellow practitioners. I opened Essentials for Further Advancement. Master taught us long time ago,

"When learning Dafa, intellectuals should be aware of a most prominent problem: They study Dafa in the same way that everyday people study theoretical writings, such as selecting relevant quotations from renowned people to examine their own conduct. This will hinder a cultivator's progress. Furthermore, upon learning that Dafa has profound, inner meaning and high-level things that can guide cultivation practice at different levels, some people even attempt to examine it word by word, but find nothing in the end. These habits, acquired from studying political theories over a long period of time, are also factors that interfere with cultivation practice; they lead to a misunderstanding of the Fa." ("Learning the Fa" from Essentials for Further Advancement)

Before when I read this, I believed that I did not have this problem. I did not realize that when I was studying in school, the way I forced myself to memorize "the standard answers" given by the wicked party, no matter whether I understood it or not, had created conditions within me that had adopted the party culture. How could the principles of Dafa unfold for me, when I was learning the Fa in the same way that I used to learn the party culture? No wonder I always felt that something was blocking me!

Master is benevolent and never forces a practitioner to do anything. Master teaches us the principles of the Fa and lets us comprehend and do things based on our comprehension. Even when practitioners make mistakes, Master patiently reminds them to do better next time. During the days I deviated from Dafa, Master had always given me hints in my dreams to come back to Dafa.

Therefore, I hope that fellow practitioners who have not learned the Fa well and often have deviating thoughts, can look inside and examine whether they have similar problems. I also want to remind everyone that fellow practitioners should never listen to any words from those who have deviated from Dafa. It is the same as one should not even open other qigong books; as soon as you feel that something in it is correct, the old forces will take advantage and try to make you deviate from Dafa.

The above is my own understanding, please point out any mistakes.