Eliminate Selfishness and Melt into the Fa
(Clearwisdom.net) In "Towards Consummation," Master said:
"What's a fundamental attachment, then? Human beings acquire many notions in this world and are, as a consequence, driven by these notions to pursue what they yearn for. But when a person comes to this world, it is karmic arrangements that determine his course of life and what will be gained and lost in it. How could a person's notions determine each stage of his life? So those so-called 'beautiful dreams and wishes' become pursuits that can never be realized, despite painful attachments." (Essentials for Further Advancement II)
At this last moment of Fa-rectification, all human attachments should be let go. Yet when facing this human world, which is full of allure, how we can make our hearts righteous and spend every moment with the righteous thoughts of a Dafa practitioner? This question becomes a long term subject of each and every Dafa practitioner. Recently, I noticed that on my path of cultivation I have pursuits which are derived from selfishness. This fundamental attachment is blocking me from melting into the Fa and saving sentient beings with the merciful attitude of "Buddha's light shines everywhere, propriety and righteousness harmonize everything"(Zhuan Falun). Now I am writing down the whole journey of my recent cultivation. I just hope that I can truly, reasonably and maturely distinguish my true self from my false self at every moment, so that I can drive out the interference of the false me.
Pursuit of Fame
Before cultivation, I cared about other people's opinions and feelings very much. To put it another way, my desire for fame was so big. I hoped to be identified with other people and pursued positive feedback from others no matter what I did. After cultivating, I noticed this attachment and realized that it was very tiring to be like this. As a result, I developed the attachment of "being afraid of having an attachment" and became a little bit unwilling to have contact with other people. I began to be fond of quietness and liked to be alone. If I had contact with other people, it was simply for letting them know the truth. So I felt very uncomfortable whenever I was with non-practitioners. It was like I was forcing myself to get in touch with others. Because of this, I gradually only had a very few friends who were non-practitioners. But I didn't mind at all, thinking that I had nothing to say to them. It was more important for me to cherish my time and to do some other things.
Yet the Fa has different requirements for cultivators at different levels. When it is time to break through to higher levels, all human attachments that cannot be let go of must be let go. Recently when I was clarifying the truth about Falun Gong to people, I noticed that I had a very strong attachment of pursuit and my actions were not totally for the benefit of the sentient beings I met. Part of my thoughts were on myself, always hoping that I could be identified with non-practitioners and caring about other people's comments about me, and being afraid that other people would not be happy with me. I thank Master's mercy for letting me see this strong and big attachment which I had not let go of for a very long time.
Pursuit of Gain
I have set many targets for myself to achieve in the course of my life. No matter what I do, I always hope that I can achieve something. For things that look "useless" or an investment that has "low payback," I was always very impatient, considering them a waste of time and so I was not willing to do them. For example, though I'm a woman, I have never liked to do house chores since I was little. I would rather save time to study. As another example, I never took physical education, house keeping, painting or other subjects in school that do not have rigorous examinations, where simply passing was considered satisfactory. Instead, I saved time to study Chinese, English, and math. Gradually I developed this notion of "craftiness." After cultivating, I spent more time doing the three things, thinking that doing these are "useful." I always ignored communication with other practitioners, did not want to write out my experiences, forgot to look at things from a wider perspective and slumped into personal cultivation to some extent. I did not try to get rid of the attachment in the attachment. Consequently, the result was not very good. Only when we come to realize that it's the false self which pursues personal gain can we transition from the small personal gain to the big gain of protecting the Universe and truly become divine .
Pursuit of Sentimentality Between Man and Woman
After I started to cultivate, I thought that I did not have a strong attachment to the sentimentality between man and woman. Especially during this last stage of the Fa-rectification period, I have understood more that I had completely different ideas towards sentimentality in this regard from what I had before I cultivated. Yet recently, I still fell deeply into sentimentality to some extent, which caused a certain degree of interference in my state of cultivation. After I looked inward, I found that the sentimentality that I have is the attachment of "being protected" and "being taken care of." I was pursuing this. When I had any setbacks, I hoped there was a "safe harbor" where I could go to rest for a while so my energy could be rejuvenated. But when I did run into the sentimentality, I found this caused more trouble. The exhaustion that I had didn't decrease but instead it became more serious. Fellow practitioners joked that I was "on drugs." This metaphor is apt. Using human methods to get rid of the pain could only free myself temporarily. When waking up, what I had was simply more pain and self-criticism. In reality, when truly facing pain and setbacks, I found it's not that difficult to endure. Actually, several times I did endure and my level of cultivation was elevated quite high. I saw myself completely differently the next day. But cultivation is a long-term test. I must persist, and not slack off.
Recently the Clearwisdom website has published many articles on stopping this evil persecution right away. I understand that stopping the persecution has become the requirement of Fa-rectification for Dafa practitioners. Our fellow practitioners should not continue to be subject to persecution, the cruelty of which cannot even be expressed in words. The sentient beings who were courageous enough to come down are still waiting for us to save them on a massive scale. Only with divine thoughts can we fundamentally break through the interference of the old forces, rectify human society and give Dafa the glory that it should have in the human world.