Maturing and Continuing On the Path Through Hardships
(Clearwisdom.net) Originally I did not want to write this experience sharing paper. However, last night I dreamed that Teacher was checking my homework and showed me that it had all blank pages. Teacher said, "Nothing is accidental." Therefore, I began to write this experience paper.
Dafa gave me a second life. I decided to spend this extended life to save more sentient beings.
I learned Falun Dafa in 1996. Before I obtained the Fa, I was a businessman who was very much attached to fame, personal gain, and passion. At first, I did not study the Fa well. I was not clear about why people should cultivate. However, I kept telling other people how good Falun Gong is, and my business became better and better. Therefore, I spent all my time on my business and wanted to make more money. Sometimes, I would argue or fight with other fellow businessmen to prevent my own business from being hurt. Since I could not let go of my strong attachment, the dark minions and rotten demons in the other dimensions saw this clearly and took advantage of my loophole. They targeted me and arranged for a car to run into me while I was riding my bicycle on business.
When the accident happened, I realized that I was in hell and did not know anything else. I could not move my entire body. Later, I suddenly thought about the dream I had the night before about a woman dying from a car accident. There was blood everywhere. I was thinking to myself that it was not me. I had my Teacher. Therefore, I asked Teacher to save me. Then, I slowly opened my eyes. I saw a lot of people standing around me. Someone said, "Your ancestor was taking care of you just now. The other person who drove the car and hit you, ran away. We thought you were dead." I noticed that my legs were swollen and I could not walk. My bicycle was broken. At that time, I thought about Teacher's Fa,
"Wed say that a good or bad outcome comes from one thought. The difference in one thought leads to different results." (Zhuan Falun, 2003 translation edition)
I thought to myself that I was OK since I am a Dafa practitioner. As a result, after a few days of focusing on Fa study, I did not need any medicine and recovered quickly. I felt frightened after that. I would have been dead if I did not have Dafa. What is the use of having so much money? I wouldn't have anything if I do not have my life.
After this life and death situation, I found my fundamental problem. For a long time, I was attached to fame, gain and passion. As a practitioner, I should eliminate these attachments. However, I would not let go of them. Teacher said in the article, "True Cultivation,"
"Whether you can let go of ordinary human attachments is a fatal test on your way to becoming a truly extraordinary being. Every disciple who truly cultivates must pass it, for it is the dividing line between a cultivator and an everyday person."
Teacher also said in the article, "Cultivators' Avoidances,"
"Those who are attached to their reputations practice an evil way, full of intention. Once they gain renown in this world, they are bound to say good but mean evil, thereby misleading the public and undermining the Fa.
Those who are attached to money seek wealth and feign their cultivation. Undermining the practice and the Fa, they waste their lifetimes instead of cultivating Buddhahood." ("Cultivators' Avoidances" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
After I understood the Fa, I went to Beijing twice to validate the Fa and call for justice for Falun Gong. After I stepped out of my home, I did not worry about my life. I posted banners in places where a lot of people passed by. Under the protection of Teacher, I safely returned home. On my way back home, Teacher hinted to me to spend the money I saved from daily life and set up a truth-clarification materials production center with several other fellow practitioners in a certain county. For the first few months, everything went very well. However, later I had the attachment of happiness and spent too much time doing things, and I spent less time on Fa study. My understanding of the Fa was not catching up. Suddenly one day, the son of the landlord knocked on the door and said, "The police are here." The other two fellow practitioners were so scared that both of their faces became white. They wanted to leave right away. At that time, we did not know anything about sending forth righteous thoughts. I began to clean up the mess by myself. Later, that little boy said he was lying to us. He did not know that those two fellow practitioners would be so scared. After that event, none of us thought too much about it and neither did we try to figure out whether it was Teacher trying to use that little boy's mouth to give us a hint.
A few days later, I came back from another place and the landlord told me that one of the fellow practitioners had been beaten by the police, and his whole body was swollen. The police ransacked everything in the room. Under brutal torture, one of the fellow practitioners revealed my name, so the police took me to the police station. I denied everything the police asked. I told them the miracles of Dafa and asked Teacher to strengthen me. Thus, under the protection of Teacher, I safely left the police station.
Setting Up Group Fa Study Again and Awakening Other Fellow Practitioners Who Had Not Stepped Out
Our practice site was dispersed after the rampant persecution began on July 20, 1999. Most of the practitioners stayed at home and would not come out, let alone validate the Fa. I understood that Teacher is so benevolent and would not want to leave behind one Dafa practitioner. As a Dafa particle, I should voluntarily take the responsibility of rectifying this situation. Therefore, I asked each of them to come to my home to study the Fa. After Fa study, we shared experiences. We talked about how we could do the three things well as our Teacher arranged. Sometimes we read "Minghui Weekly." Many people did not want to read Minghui Weekly, and said it would waste Fa-study time. I pointed out my opinion, that the Minghui/Clearwisdom website is a place for us Dafa practitioners. It is necessary to read Minghui Weekly since we cannot get on the Internet to read articles on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. Moreover, we obtained this weekly edition after our fellow practitioners paid a great price trying to deliver it to us. I said we have no excuse to not pay attention to it. Now, whenever we have time, we read the Minghui Weekly.
My job was preparing truth-clarification"materials and distributing them (nobody in our group Fa study knew that). I had a lot of staff working in my home. I told them that we should pay attention to safety, and suggested changing to another location since we had used my home so long for our Fa study. Another fellow practitioner suggested we go to her home.
Not long after that, a fellow practitioner went to the suburbs to post Falun Gong truth-clarification materials, was reported by someone and arrested by the police. Then his home was ransacked. At around 8 o'clock in the evening, as usual, we all went to that fellow practitioner's home, not knowing that the police were waiting near the door. They arrested fellow practitioners one by one as soon as they stepped through the door. They accused us of gathering illegally and also searched for truth-clarifying materials. We did not cooperate with the police when they interrogated us. One fellow practitioner tried to leave right after she entered the door. Several police officers grasped her hands and began to beat her. That fellow practitioner's face turned pale. I realized that she might not have strong righteous thoughts. I wanted to help her since Dafa practitioners are a whole body. Persecuting her would be equal to persecuting me.
I immediately opened the window and began to shout loudly. Several evil police officers viciously grabbed me and beat me. During these few years, I had never been so brutally beaten and threatened. When they beat me, I cried out "Mama!" But I immediately thought about Teacher's lecture, "Touring North America to Teach the Fa,"
"When they were beaten and in a lot of pain, many of them cried out, "Oww! Mom!" They completely treated this persecution as a persecution of ordinary human beings against other human beings. Then if I tried to protect them at that time, those old forces wouldnt stand for it, because theyre upholding the principles of the old cosmos; they think those are the only principles of the cosmos, and they cant see the new cosmos. They would say: "This is your disciple? Do you think he sees you as his Master? Has he regarded himself as a cultivator? Does he have righteous thoughts? Has he put aside the thought of life and death? Has he remained solid and unshakable, like diamond?"
When I thought about this, I immediately shouted, "Master! Master!" The police stopped beating me at once. A tear was running down my face. At that moment, I deeply felt Teacher's benevolence and the Buddha's infinite grace. I truly understood,
"If a cultivator can truly let go of [the fear of] death, then that death will forever be far removed from you." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in new York")
At that moment, my righteous thoughts became stronger. We tried to clarify the truth to the police officer but he did not listen. Instead, he began to curse. I sent forth righteous thoughts to let him have immediate retribution. He suddenly became very uncomfortable and his face turned pale. He called someone to come and take us away. I asked Teacher to strengthen us. There were still many sentient beings waiting for us to save them. I asked Teacher to prevent the police officers' phone calls from going through and to allow me to leave right away. The policeman could not make his phone calls and had to go to the balcony to try again. I immediately asked one of the fellow practitioners to open the door for me. After I ran out, other fellow practitioners also followed. The police ran after us at once but did not catch up. At that time, I felt that my feet were not touching the ground. I was running with bare feet. On the ground, there were sharp stones and pieces of glass. However, I did not feel anything. It was truly as Teacher said in one of his poems, "When disciples have ample righteous thoughts, Master has the power to turn back the tide." (The Master-Disciple Bond from Hong Yin Volume II).
First Cultivate the Mind and Then Repair the Printer
To contribute to the progress of the Fa-rectification process, I bought a computer and printer. With the help of fellow practitioners, I quickly learned how to use the Internet, to edit, print and prepare truth-clarification posters and banners, and to burn CDs. I wholeheartedly threw myself into Fa-rectification. Due to few people being involved in this activity, I voluntarily took the responsibility to learn, and also began to distribute materials and coordinate. Therefore, I did not have much time for Fa study and practicing the exercises. Just as Teacher has pointed out,
"Since you are indeed busy these days, with many of you having volunteered to shoulder a lot of work, this makes it hard for you to focus when you do Fa-study. You're always thinking about Fa-rectification things and aren't able to quiet your mind when you study the Fa. Then you're actually studying in vain. If you can't study the Fa rationally and clearheadedly, you're studying in vain, and you're wasting your time." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")
Since I didn't do well in my Fa study, I did not do well in sending forth righteous thoughts and preparing Dafa truth-clarifying materials. My printer had some problems. Suddenly the content of the first two lines would not print. I sent forth righteous thoughts and it still didn't work. Thinking that it was not easy for fellow practitioners to come from other places, requiring several dozen yuan for travel, plus it was very late and there was no public transportation, I had to ask Teacher to help. I then calmed down and looked inside, realizing that I did not spend much time on Fa study and I should quietly study the Fa. Under the Fa's enlightenment, I carefully looked inside and found many ordinary people's attachments within me, such as wanting to pursue fame, validating myself, doing business, showing off, and selfishness, etc. I always thought that these machines would be my Law weapons in the future and I would not want to give them to other people to use. Teacher said,
"But then there are others who say, 'My coming here to the ordinary world is just like staying at a hotel. I'm only going to stay here a few days and then leave in a hurry.' Some people just dread leaving this place, and they've forgotten their own homes." (Zhuan Falun)
After I found my fundamental attachment, I denied it and rejected it, and then cultivated myself to eliminate it. I asked Teacher to strengthen me. In the meantime, I tried to communicate with the printer, and sent forth righteous thoughts. After a short while, I started the printer again and successfully finished the work.
Once again, I deeply felt Teacher's benevolence and the Buddha's infinite grace. I truly realized the truth in what Teacher said,
"No matter how difficult your environment is, no matter how busy you get, you cannot forget to study the Fa. You must study the Fa, because it is the absolute, most fundamental guarantee of your improvement."
"So when you study the Fa, don't just go through the motions. You have to calm your mind when you read it, and truly study it. Don't let your mind sneak away from you. Once your mind wanders off, you'll be studying in vain. If we look at it from another angle, when you study the Fa and your mind isn't on the Fa, it's not only a problem of just going through the motions, but also that the person studying the Fa is actually not being very respectful of the Fa. How could the Fa reveal itself, then? So from this angle, I think that you have to calm your mind when you study the Fa, and remember to keep your mind steady during Fa-study when you're busy." ("Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.")
I am trying to eliminate these fundamental attachments and try to do what genuine Dafa practitioners should do. As long as the Fa validation needs me, I will coordinate unconditionally. As long as I can validate Dafa, I will try to awaken fellow practitioners around me. I will teach other fellow practitioners how to make truth-clarifying posters, how to prepare banners, and how to burn CDs. Under Teacher's strength, we now coordinate with each other very well and everything goes smoothly.
It was Teacher and Dafa that have allowed me to make it until today, and also made me become more mature. I gradually let go of myself in Fa validation. I became a firm Dafa practitioner during the Fa-rectification period. Dafa has given me everything and the highest glory in the future. Everything in me comes from Dafa. Therefore, I will return everything to sentient beings. I will firmly remember Teacher's words, "The only thing you have a role in is saving people..." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Chicago") Master, please be at ease. I will value each minute and second that I have, let go of human attachments, let go of myself, and do the three things well.
The above is my personal experience sharing. Please point out any mistakes.