On Marriage and Family
(Clearwisdom.net) Marriage should be based on rationality, because if it is based on sentimentality, happiness or unhappiness, it will end up in discord. If you can love your husband like you love your children, and put him before yourself, you will find that he will treat you well like you treat him. We often think of ourselves so readily, but neglect others.
Besides predestined karmic relationships, there is a relationship of yin and yang in a marriage. If yin and yang are balanced well a marriage will be in harmony. The wife needs to be gentle, detailed, and good at adorning herself. She should enjoy cleaning and tidying, and be caring and loving. In the past, people have said that a woman should stand and walk gracefully, and carefully speak, like a lady. When her husband is not yang enough, in order to balance the yin and yang, the wife should first understand her husband, and encourage her husband to be stronger. Those women who act like a fox spirit has possessed them are liked by certain men because they exploit the gaps of these men's weaknesses. They cause people to fall by going on a crooked way. The grace of a noble lady can guide people to righteousness by her every word and action, and make people's hearts be filled with brightness, warmth, and optimism.
The universal principle of Truth-Compassion-Forbearance is harmonized. Why not learn from it whole-heartedly? A lady with wisdom can make others happy, and create an environment like a healthy meal. A peaceful cultivator always thinks of others first, let alone her husband. She should not think of her own suffering and feelings. Of course, human life is filled with material temptations. When a lady cultivator is not diligent enough, she will probably unintentionally place hopes on her husband and children like an ordinary wife. Even under such circumstances, we should not forget the karma and limited capabilities of our husbands, and we need be tolerant and forgive, and care more while complaining less. It goes without saying that cultivators are different than ordinary people, and we should never forget the purpose of our life as cultivators.
Ancient people said a gentleman's relationship should be as plain as clear water, and it is better if the husband and wife respect each other like guests. These teachings are very profound. Modern couples are too close, too focused on sentimentality, so they are easily hurt. Cultivators should be more rational, emphasize good manners, treasure predestined relationships, and should not be intolerant when feeling "I am right."
We are amidst the Fa-rectification period cultivation. Interference is bound to come when we are failing in any aspect. When attached to family and sentimentality, one will have interference and tribulations in the areas of family and sentimentality. Therefore genuinely cultivating in the Fa and keeping a clear and rational mind is the key to not adding tribulation for ourselves.
We must do well the three things, including cultivating well in our family environment.
Above is my personal understanding, please correct my shortcomings.