Eliminating Qing and Clarifying the Truth
(Shared at 2006 Melbourne Fa conference)
Ever since I was little I discovered that I could see many things that other people couldn't see. Even though I did not know Falun Gong at that time, I felt that Master was always with me. All of my family members believe in Buddhism. My parents have been lay Buddhists for more than twenty years. Before I began Fa study I was sick from head to toe.
In April 1999 my parents-in-law went to a Fa experience-sharing conference in Sydney and saw Master. They told me about Falun Gong after their return. I started practicing Falun Gong on May 13, the day of my birthday. When I did the "Vajra toppling the mountain" movement, I could feel my body emitting a huge amount of energy. I had the strong feeling that "I will be going back home if this practice is really good."
Since the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started its persecution of Falun Gong in July 1999, even though I was not in China, I could still feel the evils' persecution of me. I could see a big snake coiled on my head. It stayed there for a long time and made me have difficulties breathing. I did not study the Fa then, did not understand the Fa and merely practiced the exercises every day. Before long, I saw Master holding a sword, which emitted strong radiant light. The sword chopped the snake.
One day I suddenly heard Master saying, "The Vietnamese version of
"Zhuan Falun" is out now, and you can go to get one." The next day my mother-in-law called me and asked me whether I wanted a copy of the Vietnamese version of Zhuan Falun. So from that time on I started to study the Fa. The more I read Zhuan Falun, the more I liked the reading, because I have experienced, or even seen what Master has spoken of in the book. Whenever I turned the pages, I could see the Falun turning and the book emitting golden light.
Letting go of emotional attachments
As my health was not good I could not help my husband much in his business. My husband became distant from me. One day I discovered that he had an affair [with someone in the office]. He wanted me to leave his company. Moreover, he always showed some intimacy with that female employee in front of me. One time I followed them to find out what they were doing. As a result I almost had a car accident. After I went home I studied the Fa with a calm mind and found that I was strongly jealous.
"The issue of jealousy is very serious as it directly involves the matter of whether you can complete cultivation practice. If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile." ("Lecture Seven" of Zhuan Falun)
My heart hurt then. Why did I work so hard, helping him in his career and business? And now he treated me like this! I asked Master what I should do. When I did the exercises I already saw some deformity in my Falun. Master gave me hints again and again, letting me find my own main consciousness. I discovered then that I was heavily enveloped by qing. I was already lost.
Right at that time I was reading Master's poem, "The Knowing Heart" from Hong Yin II:
"With Teacher guiding the voyage, the Fa saves all beings,
One sail is hoisted, one hundred million sails follow.
With attachments left behind, the lightened boats sail swiftly,
With a preoccupied human heart, crossing the ocean proves arduous.
The wind and clouds suddenly change, and the heavens seem to crumble,
The mountains shake, the seas churn, and the ferocious waves billow.
Follow Teacher closely, steadfastly cultivating Dafa,
With attachments too strong, bearings are lost.
Some flee for their lives, deserting capsized boats and torn sails,
As the mud and sand are completely sifted, gold shines forth.
Grand talk counts for naught when it comes to life and death,
Actions reveal what is true.
When the day of Consummation arrives,
The great disclosure of the truth will leave the world in amazement."
I did not understand the true meaning of the poem then. Then, one morning, I suddenly came to understand the meaning of Master's words,
"One sail is hoisted, one hundred million sails follow.
With attachments left behind, the lightened boats sail swiftly."
("The Knowing Heart" from Hong Yin II)
I finally realized that I should let go of the attachment. After that I felt much relieved, and in my heart I did not hold any grudges or jealousy toward my husband and his companion.
After my husband drove me out of the company, he did not stop there. He still wanted to know what I was doing. He followed me to the Chinese consulate. When he saw me handing people truth-clarification materials he became exasperated and wanted me to go home with him. I had then just started to go out to do truth-clarification work and still did not know what I should do about him. The first two times I ran away as if I was afraid of him. Later I understood that what I had been doing was a noble deed of validating the Fa. How long could I dodge him? When he arrived at the consulate the third time to find me, I was very firm and I ignored him. He went away angry.
After my husband left me my mother who was in Canada called me. She wanted me to go to the temple and become a lay Buddhist as she had done before. But I knew that no matter how difficult it would be, I would firmly follow this path Master arranged for me. I always remember this poem from Master,
The awakened ones honor the world beyond
On Consummation is the devout cultivator's heart set
When great the ordeal, keep steadfast
The will to diligence never bowed" (from Hong Yin II)
Learning Chinese bit by bit and catching up with the progress of Fa rectification
Prior to 2004 there were no Vietnamese versions of Master's lectures and articles. I just practiced the exercises and studied the Fa every day. I had no idea at all what a Fa-rectification period Dafa Disciple should do, and how I should cultivate myself. I thought, "How lucky I would be if I could read Chinese."
Just at the right time a fellow practitioner said to me, "You can come to my home and I will teach you how to read the Chinese version of Essentials for Further Advancement." At each reading with her I felt delighted from the bottom of my heart. Before long she moved away. Master then arranged for another practitioner to move close to my house to teach me Chinese. I looked up each word in the dictionary and memorized the pronunciation of each of the words. In the process of my reading, Master time and again showed me the meaning of the Fa in each word. When I read the Fa the first day I just read and did not understand the meaning of the words. The next day, though, when I woke up, I would remember and understand what I had read the previous day, and in this way I came to understand many Fa principles. Moreover, I came to know what I should do.
After more than one year I was finally able to read the entire book of Zhuan Falun, although in the past I knew not a single word of Chinese! I was also able to read and understand Master's articles that were recently published, as well as those in Essentials for Further Advancement. I thus walked out of the state of just practicing the exercises and not reading the Fa toward comprehending what being a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple means. I should go out to do Dafa validating work! It was then already 2004.
Since then I would never miss an opportunity to clarify the truth. When I took public transportation to work I would carry some truth-clarification materials with me to hand to the passengers. I also clarified the truth to the driver, face to face. During the second half of 2005, a few months before the 'Rescue the Orphans Concert," I went out every day with other practitioners to hand out materials and talk to the media on a one-to-one basis. I would tell them the situations the orphans face whose parents had died during the persecution in China. During the Commonwealth Games I went to the downtown area of the city every day to clarify the truth to the tourists from different countries. Every Saturday I went to help at the "Quit the Chinese Communist Party" booths in Footscray and Richmond, and handed out copies of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party.
Now I have already turned my emotions toward my husband and parents into compassion toward other sentient beings. Every time I go out to clarify the truth I would feel delighted. I am happy for my finding this most righteous cultivation path. I am also happy and feel relieved for my having let go of my attachment to "qing". Not long ago, with the help of Master, I found a very good job, and furthermore, it does not at all interfere with my truth-clarification work.
Thank you, Master for His great benevolence and salvation, gratitude that I cannot express fully with human words. I hereby recite one of Master's poems to end my sharing:"Tempering the Will
To consummate yourself, reaping Buddhahood,
Let joy be found in hardship.
Physical pains count little as suffering,
Indeed, cultivating mind is hardest.
Each and every barrier must be broken through,
And everywhere does evil lurk.
Abundant troubles rain down together,
All to see: Can you pull through?
The world's miseries endured,
One departs the earth a Buddha."
(Hong Yin, from English Translation Version A)