(Clearwisdom.net) The head of the Chinese Communist Party finished his visit to Washington DC. I attended a series of rallies and protest activities and I saw the weakness of my cultivation through many things.

Since the Sujiatun horror was revealed, the witnesses' testimony always made me feel very uncomfortable. After reading each testimony, I usually could not calm my mind down all day. After sharing experiences with other practitioners, I realized that the arrangement of Fa-rectification is very well ordered and nothing that happened was coincidental. But I still could not get rid of the ordinary people's feeling of indignation.

Afterwards, during the process of contacting VIPs and clarifying the truth to them, I saw all kinds of human notions. Sometimes my mind was disturbed. I thought those people were discouraged and pitiful. Master said,

"How could a few words from an ordinary, bad person count for anything? However evil you are, you can't change me. I simply must accomplish my historic mission, and I must do what a Dafa disciple should do." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Washington DC Fa Conference")

But I often felt disappointed, stuck in my ordinary people's notions.

With the spreading of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and the trend of withdrawing from the CCP, we attended a lot of rallies and parades. I can still remember when I attended the parade in New York City celebrating one million people withdrawing from the CCP. I was very excited because it was the first time I attended a celebration parade, not a parade protesting the persecution. The messages, "Heaven will eliminate the CCP" and "Only without the CCP can we have a new China" stirred my human emotions.

Since then, besides using Nine Commentaries and "Withdrawing from CCP" as good weapons to save sentient beings, I also had a sense of human pleasure, more or less. I thought that the evil party persecuted us so cruelly and finally it was time for us to fight back. In other dimensions, the battle between good and evil is going on, but the appearance in front of ordinary people should be peaceful. We are saving sentient beings, not taking part in ordinary people's political struggles. Our goal is to stop the persecution and save sentient beings. "Disintegrating the CCP" is just a method, not a goal.

However after the Sujiatun horror was uncovered, I even more subconsciously considered "Disintegrating the CCP" as the goal. On April 19, in front of the hotel where Hu Jintao stayed, CCP supporters used all kinds of methods to block our banners with the CCP's blood-red flag. I rushed to the police to seek help and argued angrily and loudly with the CCP supporters . Afterwards, when practitioners shouted their messages together, I could clearly feel my attachment of competitiveness.

The later the stage of Fa rectification, the higher the requirements are on us. Master said,

"Dafa disciples have already gone through such a difficult time. I hope that all of you will walk the last leg of your journey well and treasure the journey you've already completed." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference")

I understand that Dafa disciples' minds should not be moved by changes in the environment and various situations. We should look inward in order to do the things we should do well.

Above are my personal understandings. Please kindly point out anything improper.