Righteous Thoughts and Environment
(Clearwisdom.net) Every time I read "Minghui Weekly," many thoughts fill my mind: gratitude for Master's compassionate protection, my admiration of fellow practitioners' improvements on their cultivation paths, and their willpower in disregarding their lives in order to validate the Fa. However, I worried about my slacking off on my own cultivation path. I have lost a lot of precious time, missing several rare chances to validate the Fa. I would like to review my cultivation path over the past seven years.
I obtain the Fa
I graduated from college in 1997 and had the good fortune of finding a desirable job in the county seat. However, that job did not last long and I was terminated, so I went back home. I went into a deep depression that I could not pull myself out of and cannot describe how awful I felt. My family members were afraid to raise their voices in front of me. One time, my mom said to me quietly, "Daughter, I have had Zhuan Falun in our home for two years but I cannot read, so would you read it to me now?" I agreed and read to my mom every day. After finishing the book, I felt that it was very meaningful. Every sentence touched my heart and my spirits improved. I eventually stopped complaining about various matters. On April 5, 1998, I finished doing the entire set of movements for the very first time and since then I have cultivated Dafa.
The Fa's miracle
The first day after I started doing the exercises, I was able to feel the turning of the wheel. I remember that once, when I was reading at home, I felt as if I was dreaming in my sleep. I dreamed that I flew very high but I got scared because I could not get down, so I called for Master, "Master, let me down!" I then awoke and realized that Master was encouraging me. When I read to Mother and pointed out the characters in the book to her, she said the characters looked very bright. Slowly, she was able to read. Although she reads slowly, she can connect the characters into sentences. We both clearly know that it is the great Master who is teaching her how to read and learn the Fa. My mother is now able to read all of Zhuan Falun. She is also able to read all of the other Dafa related books. On August 13, 2005, there was a severe thunderstorm that continued for five hours. The small river in front of my mother's house became a raging torrent and many firewood bundles got washed down from upriver. We feared that Mother's firewood would soon be washed away by the rising water, but the wall on the riverbank was still strong. Someone suggested that we drag the firewood bundles away from the shore so that the water wouldn't wash them away. My mom replied there was no need as she was sure nothing would happen to them. I firmly believed her, too. True to Mother's word, nothing indeed happened to the firewood, but many other families' firewood got washed away.
Righteous thoughts and environment
After July 20, 1999, the evil CCP started to persecute Falun Gong practitioners. I could only study the Fa and do the exercises at home, and my family would not let me contact other practitioners. Police officers came to our home often to harass us. I lost the job that I had obtained after great effort. After August 2000, my husband would not allow me to study the Fa or do the exercises at home. He even burned all my Dafa related books and materials while I was away visiting my mother. My father-in-law said, "Don't do things that the Communist Party forbids and don't say anything either." My family would not allow me to mention anything related to Dafa. Whenever I brought up Dafa, they would lose their temper. At that time I did not know what to do and the most I could do was to not let myself get lost in these lies.
The county and the local police tirelessly persecuted Falun Gong. The TV and other media stigmatized Dafa daily, and my family felt it was not worth it to get arrested and lose their jobs due to practicing Falun Gong. I did not give up cultivation but at the same time I could not improve myself either. I was in this situation--almost in a daze--for two years. Though I knew it was the result of not having enough righteous thoughts, I was unable to strengthen my righteous thoughts.
One day I went to a fellow practitioner's home and told her of my experiences over the previous few years. Her sentence moved me, "You have to send forth righteous thoughts." Therefore, I sent forth righteous thoughts to my husband every chance I got. At that time, whenever "Falun Gong" was brought up, he would lose his temper, but now he is not like that anymore although he still does not like to hear about it. In March 2005, he took our entire savings and invested it. At that time, I had a bad feeling that if he did not change his attitude toward Dafa, he would not succeed. Sure enough, not only he did not make any profit, he also lost all our money.
Based on this incident, I initially tried to bring him to his senses. I said, "Don't be too serious about money; you cannot bring money into this world when you are born and you cannot take it with you to the grave. Your health is the most important." I helped him to analyze things that had happened in the past few years. I did not behave as he had imagined. I did not complain or scold him because he had invested such a large amount of money and then lost it all. Instead I comforted him with words. He was very grateful to me and said the most fortunate thing that had happened in his life was marrying me.
I saw the chance to clarify the truth to him had come, so I started to analyze how his business had started to slow down after he started being against Dafa, and then the failure of his investment. He accepted it calmly and said, "Actually I did not say Dafa is not good; it is the government that forbids practicing it." I then had him watch the "Nine Commentaries on Communist Party." He understood about the truth of the persecution. However, he is still scared and is afraid to let me go to fellow practitioners' homes or let them come to ours. I think he will eventually come around. As Master said:
"If you really want to save your family members, then clarify the truth to them as you would to other people. That's because their knowing sides all realize." ("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference")
With enough righteous thoughts, the environment will change.
My husband signs a declaration
I was worried about my husband because he destroyed Dafa books. (Of course, there were also feelings involved.) I started to think about solutions. I then wrote a declaration: "When the evil persecution spread throughout the world, I did things that were against Dafa, such as destroying Dafa books, etc. What I did was wrong. I firmly believe in Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance. I expect myself to follow them." I sent forth righteous thoughts to him after I finished writing it and then said, "I wrote something. Can you sign it?" He seemed to know that I had written something for Dafa, and he did not want to see it. I pretended to be upset and said, "Forget it then. I will put it away." Then he wanted to know what I had written. I purposely refused to show it to him as I knew him well. "I will sign. Let me see it!" he pleaded. So I took it out and read it to him and said, "Do you agree with what I have written? If not, I can rewrite it." He said, "It is fine. You don't need to rewrite it." And he signed it. He said he would sign his father's name for his sake as well. It appeared that he truly understood the truth of the persecution.
There are many areas I have not done well in regards to cultivation. I am far from the expectations of the Fa and feel that there are many Fa validation projects waiting for me to do. I have not studied the Fa enough, missed send forth righteous thoughts, and have not done enough truth clarification. However, as my righteous thoughts improve, I will try harder and use all my time to do the three things, save more sentient beings, and complete my divine mission.