Letting Go of the Attachment to "Self" while Doing Media Work
(Clearwisdom.net) I've been involved working on the German version of the newspaper ever since our fellow practitioners started it. I now have a better understanding of why the media is an excellent tool in clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings. To me, the newspaper is for clarifying the truth using ordinary people's methods, and is a compassionate way to reach the people of the world. In this way, people can be made aware of the true situation in China by reading and going over the news, such as the persecution of Falun Gong, the censorship of the media, and the human rights lawyers who fight for justice for Falun Gong, etc. Most importantly, our paper is the publisher of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, and it is also the best tool to spread the Nine Commentaries.
Master mentioned in "Teaching the Fa in the City of Chicago" in 2005,
"As you know, there are constant changes in the situation during Fa-rectification. For instance, right now in saving sentient beings, it is necessary to resolve the issue of how people understand the CCP, so you have been working on things related to the Nine Commentaries. "
What motivated me to do the media work is that this German newspaper is not only for Germany, it's for all the German-speaking areas, including Germany, Switzerland and Austria. I hope I can do my share. I hope that it will provide a channel of truth-clarification to Austrians, and also lay a good foundation for the future.
I'm in charge of editing the website, and my husband and some other practitioners handle website technology. I have a son and I'm a fulltime housewife. I'm free during the day, and since the other practitioners have jobs, it's difficult for them to do the website editing job. That's why I took over. Most of the time I leave my computer on. When I'm not uploading articles, I always check and see if there is anything else I can do. I try to minimize my mistakes and make sure to provide enough information on the website.
For a while I had limited time and a lot of work to do, and I found myself stuck in a situation. I simply treated it as a job instead of taking others into consideration. At the time I didn't consider the requirements of Fa-rectification, instead I simply posted the news from the press. When Chinese President Hu Jintao visited the United States, I had to translate many articles from the U.S. websites into German, and I also had to work with Chinese editors and other practitioners. I didn't enlighten to my situation until I went through this process.
I had so many things to do, and I realized that it wasn't just for validating myself, it was to make the newspaper good that I wanted to do media work. It was because I wanted to, and should, clarify the truth to the world's people that I took the media job.
Besides the website, ever since we started publishing the print edition, I'd get five copies of the newspaper to give to people. For some reason, I didn't have time to pass out the newspapers. Even when I did have time, I failed to deliver the newspaper, using the excuse that my son was still small. I thought that people would think it was weird for me to bring my young son to deliver newspapers. I was afraid that people might assume that the paper wasn't serious. Each and every week I gave myself different excuses for not going out to deliver the newspaper. Every week I was fully occupied with editing, taking care of my son, necessary social activities, and housework.
I asked myself whether I had done all I could for the media. I asked myself what else I could do to help, and then I thought of those copies of the newspaper. I was ashamed of myself when I realized that I hadn't paid enough attention to this. I didn't cherish the work of the publishing team, and if I had distributed the newspapers, someone would have gotten the chance to know the truth.
I found that I'd been looking externally. What was I waiting for? Was I waiting for a time when I could comfortably give out the newspaper? Master told us that if we have loopholes, the old forces and the evil elements would enlarge them. They tell us our notions are valid. As a result, I would definitely have no time. The old forces and the evil elements made me feel like I was too busy and had no time. They would strengthen my notions and I thought that I didn't have time to give out the newspaper.
Master said in Zhuan Falun,
"We say that when you're handling a disagreement, if you can take a step back you'll see things in a whole new light."
So I let go of my notions and doubts. I found that even a housewife like me could still deliver the newspaper, and there was nothing strange about it.
I decided I'd give out the newspaper the moment I received them. I discovered this was feasible. Although I wanted to go to Eisenstadt the first time to give out the newspaper, I couldn't because it was raining, but I didn't give up. The next day, I went to Eisenstadt, and the weather that day was very good.
Ever since then another practitioner and I have taken turns going to Eisenstadt and Mattersburg to distribute the newspaper. So far no other projects have been adversely affected by our distributing the newspaper. We deliver the newspaper to coffee shops and hairdressers. Recently we also delivered the German newspaper together with the Chinese one to some Chinese restaurants.
I also want to mention my son, and how he helps me in my cultivation.
Once when my family was participating in activities in Salzburg, I was giving the newspaper version of the Nine Commentaries to passersby, when I saw my son, who was turning two in May, giving a copy to someone who was very happy to take it from him. I was very close to the booth and I clearly saw my son take a copy and give it to the person. I was really touched by his purity and righteous thoughts. I called him over and gave him another copy of the newspaper. We spent a long time passing out newspapers this way. I stopped and did the exercises with the other practitioners for a while, and my son stood with me and did the exercises, too.
My son helps me in my cultivation. Before Christmas last year, for a period of time, my son always made me angry. There were all kinds of reasons, and each time I was really mad. I asked myself why he did that, why wouldn't he leave me alone to quietly do my stuff, and why he cried for no reason. Most of the time, even though I tried to control myself on the surface, the way I talked to him was not nice at all, and I was very angry in my heart.
One time I could hardly control myself and lost my temper, even though I had tried to remind myself not to get mad. Just as Master said in Zhuan Falun, parents should educate their children rationally. Only in this way can they educate their children well. Still, I couldn't control myself. This kind of thing happened several times. I felt so disappointed I started to cry. I asked myself how I could be so stupid when I was aware of the principle. How come I couldn't do it? I realized that my son was helping me in my cultivation. I felt so thankful to him, just like what Master said in "Transforming Karma" from Lecture Four of Zhuan Falun,
"There's another law in this universe: you're the one who suffered a lot, so your own karma will get transformed. You paid the price, so however much you've borne, that's how much gets transformed, and it all turns into virtue. Isn't this virtue what a practitioner wants? Didn't you gain in two ways?--your karma is also eliminated. If he didn't create that situation for you, where would you get your character improved? You treat me nicely, I treat you nicely, and we sit there getting along great, and then your gong just grows--how could that happen? It's exactly because he created that conflict for you, because he created that opportunity to improve your character, that you can improve your character through it. Doesn't your character get improved? You've gained in three ways. You're a practitioner. So now that your character has improved, doesn't your gong increase? You've gained in four ways all in one shot. How could you not thank that person? You should really thank him from the bottom of your heart. That's really how it is."
When I felt thankful to my son in my heart, and I fully understood the principle, I could hardly lose temper with him any longer. I expressed my thankfulness to him, and thanked him for his patience. I thanked him for being nice to me even when I did something wrong. He was always friendly and compassionate with me. Even though I sometimes yelled at him, he always smiled at me immediately.
I've always felt it was one of my major responsibilities to read the Fa to him. It was difficult for me in the very beginning, when he was born. At that time I could barely read aloud for long, I could hardly speak at all, and it was difficult for me to concentrate. I'd gotten used to reading quietly, and that way I could read quickly. Sometimes when I had this problem, I would strengthen my mind and understand the importance for my son to listen to the Fa. Each time I had trouble reading the Fa aloud I told myself, "You can make it," and each time Master helped me find my voice when I calmed down.
I want to thank our great Master for giving me this precious opportunity. I will make sure to walk my path in a righteous way.