(Clearwisdom.net) I am a 50-plus year-old woman from a farming village in China. Before I began practicing Falun Gong, I was a cancer victim, and during those six years after the surgery my body was messed up and out of shape due to heavy doses of medication. It was like snow and frost on the physical and financial burdens of my poor family. I almost gave up and was waiting for death to end my suffering. Then by what seemed a mere chance, I was fortunate enough to obtain the Fa. Physically and mentally I put full concentration into my cultivation practice, and my illnesses suddenly disappeared. Thus I realized the light, illness-free condition of a cultivator that our Teacher had mentioned.

After China's persecution of Falun Gong began on July 20, 1999, I at first thought it was a (political) movement forcing people against people. Out of my gratitude to the Teacher and the Fa, I went to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong and clarify the truth. But I did not walk out of my human shell and willingly paid the fines for my appeals, misunderstanding the lesson about "no loss, no gain" rather than exposing the evils and opposing the persecution. Because of my not elevating in time on the Fa, in 2002 a fellow practitioner and I were unduly arrested and brought to a detention center. At that time I still had much humanness in my heart, due to fear of being hit or beaten and not doing well in Dafa. I did not validate the Fa in an upright and dignified manner but rather dealt with the police in a tricky way hoping to avoid physical abuse. The more fearful I was the worse the police punished me. The hitting and beating became too difficult for me to bear, so I changed my behavior, and told them all they wanted to know. I then was afraid of being sent to a forced labor camp and of being "transformed," which would destroy my cultivation efforts. I passed on the idea of "faking the transformation" to a fellow practitioner but she had stronger righteous thoughts and disagreed with this idea. As a result, during her physical checkup it was found that she had high blood pressure, and she was immediately released. On the other hand, an officer told me "Even if you beg me through my best friend or bribe me, I will still send you to the labor camp." After my illegal detention at the forced labor camp, I still did not search inward. Thinking that it was okay to fake the "transformation" and with too many human things, I caused terrible loses to Dafa and myself.

Failing twice to pass the above-mentioned tests in cultivation practice, I nearly gave up on myself and was very timid in doing the three things. One time when coming across a distant relative, I clarified the truth to him and gave him and the person next to him good-fortune cards. Unexpectedly that person was an informant and immediately called the police to arrest me. They also searched my house and confiscated all the truth materials produced from the hard work of fellow practitioners. Inside the police car, I reflected on my recent years of cultivation and finally found the flaw. After all I did not step out of my human shell and "fear" was my roadblock. As Teacher said,

"If you have fear, it will snatch you" ("Why be Fearful?" from Hong Yin II, provisional translation subject to improvement)

I ended up being arrested several times. I did not claim in an upright and dignified way that I am a Dafa practitioner, my righteous thoughts were not strong enough, and when something happened I did not measure it with the Fa but rather tried in every way to avoid my personal loss. In summary, I did not put Dafa at the highest position and thus I did not have the heart to do everything for Dafa.

Therefore, I gritted my teeth and made up my mind to go ahead regardless. Since the evil brought me here, here would be the place for my clarifying the truth and exposing the evil. Inside the prison, I refused to cooperate with the evil but rather sent forth righteous thoughts every hour on the hour as well as clarified the truth to people I came in contact with. I recited the Fa, and did the Falun Gong exercises. This time the evil would only lead me over my dead body!

To not cooperate with the evil, I went on a hunger strike. On the fifth day, the guards started to force-feed me. In the hospital, I cried loudly "Falun Dafa is good!" and "Put Jiang Zemin on trial by the people." During my detention, once a VIP inspector came from the provincial government to the prison. They had prepared for his coming for a long time, and on the day of the inspection, all detainees were confined to their cells and it was very quiet in the prison hallways. Then one thought flashed in my mind, that I could not miss this moment. So I shouted out loudly, "Falun Dafa is good!" "Falun Dafa is righteous!" "Practitioners are innocent!" and "Persecution of Dafa and practitioners is against heavenly law!" Meanwhile, that VIP inspector and the accompanying group listened speechlessly and then left. At that time I was not frightened. My life was given to me by Dafa so why be fearful?

In prison, I collected and jotted down the persecution cases of fellow practitioners so as to send it out to expose the evil. Somehow the letter fell into the hands of the prison guards. During their interrogation of me, guards ferociously asked for the sources of my information. I was determined not to cooperate with them but rather clarify the truth to them. One guard pulled my hair and raised his hand, threatening to beat me to death for my confession.

For a brief moment the fear came back to me but I soon replaced it with powerful righteous thoughts. I put together all my bodily strength and cried out "Falun Dafa is good!" and "Fa Zheng Qian kun, Xie-E Quan Mie!" (in English: The Fa rectifies the cosmos, the evil is completely eliminated.) This act shocked them all. And after this, the guards stopped hitting and beating me, and they also stopped trying to provoke me. Later the prison politics department chief teamed together with prison guards to interrogate me, and I still clarified the truth to him. Trying to con me for my source of information, they asked what I would do with the prison stories. I answered calmly that I would distribute them to others for saving people. He asked how many copies I could distribute. I said as many as possible for days to come, every day. Finally the police tried to intimidate me saying, "You may be sentenced to eight years in a forced labor camp." My reply was "Dafa practitioners are innocent. Persecuting Dafa is a crime and a sin. You must unconditionally set me free at once." The police commented, "You are really naive. You want to go free on your say so?"

During the whole process of my detention, I found my deficiencies and felt ashamed and regretful. I am one of the Dafa particles in this life to assist Teacher in rectifying the Fa for saving all sentient beings.

Inside the prison, I memorized all of Hong Yin II. From these poems by Teacher, I realized the logic in reaching a broad open world without selfishness. Once we forsake selfishness including life or death, what else can we not let go? Suddenly I felt extremely relieved and experienced a focus and power that had never happened before in sending forth righteous thoughts. After a little more than a month in illegal detention, they were sending me to a forced labor camp. In the transport car, I kept clarifying the truth to the escorting police. I told them that abusing their duties would create karma for themselves and there is sin beyond redemption in persecuting Dafa practitioners. Then to my surprise, at the labor camp, they refused to accept me because my physical checkup indicated that I was critically ill. Looking at the helpless police having no alternative but to release me, I once again sensed Teacher's benevolence and the majestic power of Dafa so as to bring tears to the eyes.

In this way I returned home safe and sound. The local police station personnel were stunned to see me, wondering why this previously tricky person was not sent to a labor camp. Through the lesson learned this time, I enlightened to the Fa principle that righteous thoughts and actions are the difference between gods and humans. Thus I am now able to realize that,

"It is extremely dangerous to add anything human to cultivation practice" (Teacher's article "Digging Out the Roots" from Essentials for Further Advancement)

and that,

"If disciples have enough righteous thoughts, then the Master has power to reverse the situation" ("Grace from Master to Disciples," from Hong Yin II, provisional translation subject to improvement)

Help from fellow practitioners to improve what I discussed above will be appreciated.