With Faith in Teacher and the Fa, There Is No Test or Tribulation We Cannot Pass
(Clearwisdom.net) January 27, 2005, was the most unforgettable day of my life. For this 19-year-old girl, the day provided a costly lesson.
I experienced an illusion--it appeared that a large group of policemen had come to arrest me and were waiting for me on the ground floor. To escape from certain persecution, I jumped out of the sixth floor window. Despite a painful landing, I was conscious and clearheaded. I struggled to push my upper body up and, after crawling a few inches, I tired to stand up, although I felt as if I weighed a ton. I steadied my left leg with my hand and walked with small steps to a main street. There, I called a taxi and went home.
Once I arrived at home, I was unable to move. Mother had to carry me to bed. My hands were covered with cuts, but the bleeding had stopped. There were some gashes that showed my bone. I was in excruciating pain. I couldn't sit or lay down on my back. When I sat, I had to lean my back against a wall and support my upper body with both arms. This caused my hand to swell and turn red. After lying on my side for a long time, the skin on both sides developed bedsores, so I lay down face-up, bending my legs. If I tried to straighten my legs just a little bit, I would feel excruciating pain in my back. When I lay on my stomach, I had to put pillows or a thick blanket on my stomach. I was in a lot of pain and exhausted. My mother had to help me turn over. Mother would start turning my upper and then my lower body and my legs. Each turn took great effort. Later, a fellow practitioner loaned me an MP3 player with Teacher's Fa lectures on it. I listened to Teacher's Fa lectures on the MP3 player day and night, but the pain and continuous agony filled my thoughts. During the first two weeks, I could not sleep. Every day felt as long as a year. In fact, each minute appeared to last forever. Evenings were worse. Each night I lay in bed, wishing for the night to be over. Mother often sat with me, kneeling while holding me with her arms behind my back to lessen my pain a little bit. Despite the never-ending, excruciating pain, I remained steadfast in my faith in Teacher and the Fa. I refused to acknowledge the old forces' arrangements.
Suddenly it dawned on me that it was time to stand up and walk. Then a fellow practitioner visited me. She encouraged me to stand up and walk. I struggled to get up from the bed. After a few attempts, I finally stood up. With mother holding my arms, I had difficulty taking the first small steps on top of the bed. Each step gave me piercing pain as though my bones, tendons, and organs were tearing apart.
On the third day of the 2005 Chinese New Year, Mother asked a fellow practitioner to come help carry me to the hospital. The fellow practitioner offered to carry me on his/her back, but I insisted on walking on my own. Leaning on Mother, I walked out of our home. We took a taxi to the hospital. In order to reduce my pain, the fellow practitioner rented a wheelchair and took me to have an X-ray and CT scan. During the process, the doctor put me on a bed and told me to lie down. He said, looking rather serious, that I must not sit or stand in my present condition. After we left the X-ray room, mother told me that the doctor, when looking at the scan repeatedly said, "My goodness! Oh, my goodness!" The doctor told Mother that I had comminuted fractures on my left ischium, as well as a stress and comminuted fracture on my lumbar spin, pelvis, left knee and left hip. There were multiple injuries and fractures on my lumbar spine and caudal vertebra. The biggest problem was that a small piece of cone-shaped bone was stuck in the left lumbar spine.
The doctor said that I needed surgery immediately, or I would become paralyzed. The doctor also said that they needed more tests. He suggested that it was a difficult surgery and it would cost at least 5,000 yuan to remove the small piece of bone and more for to treat my many fractures. Mother asked me if I would like to check into the hospital. After having heard the doctor's diagnosis, I still refused to acknowledge any of these false symptoms and illusions. I refused to check into the hospital and did not agree to surgery, because I have Teacher looking after me. I sat up right away. Although the doctor said I must not sit in my condition, I thought, "I will lay down or sit down at will. I refuse to acknowledge the evils' persecution." But the doctor would not let me leave the hospital. He asked us to talk to the chief administrator of the hospital and see if we could check into the hospital first and pay later. The doctor also told my aunt, "You must tell her mother that she needs the surgical procedure and treatment, even if it means selling her house or property. Otherwise, the child will not survive." We left the hospital anyway.
After I returned home, I let it be known that I would not return to the hospital again, have surgery or any further medical exams, although sometimes my xinxing was unstable. When my xinxing was high, I was determined not to have any surgery or any further medical checkups. When my xinxing dropped, I was still determined not to take any medicine, take any injections, or check into the hospital, but I became uneasy and restless. I thought about having a doctor make me well again. I searched inward and identified that this was a sign of my human or unrighteous thoughts. I told myself that I must persevere in my righteous thoughts.
Because of fellow practitioners' and Mother's encouragement, I started to practice the Falun Gong exercises. At first, I couldn't stand up on my own for the first exercise. I could only lean against the bed and move my arms. I couldn't stretch my arms because of the fracture in my backbone. The second time I practiced the first exercise, I could stretch my arms and could stand on my own without leaning against anything for a little while. The first time I practiced the second exercise, I could only hold the wheel for 30 seconds. My left leg trembled terribly and my body shook and swung around. Mother was standing behind me, getting ready to catch me if I should fall. When I practiced the fourth exercise for the first time, I couldn't bend over at all when it was time to move the hands in a circle around the feet. I could only move my hands in a circle along the outside of my thighs instead. As I continued to practice the fourth exercise, I was able to bend over after a while. The fifth exercise, the sitting meditation, presented the greatest challenge to my perseverance. I had to lean against something to be able to sit up for a short while. It was extremely difficult for me to sit with my legs loosely crossed, while supporting my upper body with my arms. In the beginning, it took me a lot of effort to do single-leg crossing. I tried to sit in the Full Lotus position (sitting with both legs crossed on top of each other), but I couldn't do it no matter how hard I tried. Later, when I was watching Teacher's Fa lectures, in my heart I begged Teacher to help me sit in the Full Lotus position, even if it would last only a minute. The next time I practiced the sitting meditation, I was actually able to sit in the Full Lotus position right away. However, my left thigh hurt so badly that it felt as though it was broken. I endured the pain for one full minute, exactly as I had begged for. Over time I could extend it to five minutes, eight minutes, and then ten minutes.
During that time, fellow practitioners often came to encourage me and extend help. Once I had a very bad stomachache. It hurt so bad that I started to cry. It was the first time I had cried since the accident. Before that, I had never cried although I felt excruciating pain. I knew very well that it was not because I had an incredibly high level of tolerance, but because Teacher had endured a lot of pain for me. Otherwise, I couldn't possibly have been able to endure the pain from such severe injuries for such a long time. Later a fellow practitioner with Celestial Vision saw that the evils in other dimensions were tearing my stomach apart. My stomachache disappeared after fellow practitioners sent righteous thoughts for me and eliminated the evils in other dimensions.
Two weeks later, the excruciating pain began to subside little by little and my health began to improve little by little. I was able to sleep for a little while. However, I often had nightmares. In the dreams I would either fall out of a building or encounter an explosion. I woke up from almost every sleep screaming for Teacher or screaming, "Falun Dafa (or Falun Gong) is good." Once I dreamed of Teacher having a class, but it was chaotic and everyone sat in a very casual, improper posture. Mother and I each took a small stool and sat in the first row. It appeared that everyone had come to seek medical treatment. Mother asked me to go up to the stage and ask the man that resembled Teacher for treatment. (I could walk in the dream but still suffered from severe back pain.) I refused to comply with Mother's wish because I knew Teacher did not teach Falun Gong to treat illness. But, mother pushed me forward. I was about to turn and leave when the man resembling Teacher stopped me. He was very mad at me and told me, "Look what you have done!" I wanted to explain, but he wouldn't listen. He opened a large cabinet behind him and I saw it was filled with all sorts of medicine. He took out a bottle of liquid and put it on the table. Then he told me to take the bottle. Before I even took the bottle, I found several white tablets in my hand that looked like pills. He told me to take the pills, but I refused. Looking very angry, he raised an arm and pointed at the door, signaling me to leave. I begged him not to kick me out and I started to cry between the cabinet and the table. I cried myself awake. After listening to the content of my nightmare, Mother said, "The evil saw that you are very determined in the daytime, refusing to go to the hospital or take medicine, so it assumed Teacher's image to deceive you and try to lull you to take medicine in a dream. It tried to drag you away from your cultivation practice. If you had taken the medicine in the dream, you would have fallen prey to its plot. It was precisely because you didn't fall for its scheme that it was angry with you. Our Teacher is immensely compassionate. How could Teacher be possibly angry at you or abandon you?" Upon hearing Mother's analysis, I realized that the evil was trying to drag me down using every conceivable tactic.
Although I had difficulty walking, it finally dawned on me that I should continue to clarify the truth. Even if I could distribute only one copy of truth-clarification material, I would deny the old forces' arrangements. I should do what I have enlightened to. With Mother helping me walk, I placed one truth-clarification brochure after another in front of doors. Although I wasn't able to do much, I was still assisting Teacher in his Fa-rectification and I had taken a giant step in denying the old forces' arrangements.
With the elevation of my thoughts, a miracle happened! On the evening of February 24, 2005, while I was talking with Mother and lying on the bed, my bent legs straightened on their own without any back pain. (I had tried to do that just that morning, but it didn't work.) Thus my backbone, the part that worried me the most, was fixed. I could get up and walk on my own without anyone's help right away. At first I could walk for several minutes and later I could walk for about 30 minutes. On March 11, 2005, I could walk for an hour to my grandmother's home, except I was limping a little. On April 13, 2005, I could walk normally and even walk upstairs. On May 1, 2005, I felt only slightly numb in my lower left thigh and knee, but I had fully recovered. I could run, leap and jump without any problem. Later on I could even do sit-ups. I'm now completely healthy.
I remember that the doctor said I would be done for without any surgery, but I have fully recovered without any hospital's treatment or surgery. Hasn't Falun Dafa given us a miracle?
I realized that the root cause of these demonic tribulations was my attachment to fear. Although I eventually triumphed over these tribulations with Teacher's help, I failed to do well at times when I was suffering excruciating pain. Nevertheless, there is no test Falun Gong practitioners cannot pass as long as they are steadfast in their belief in Teacher and the Fa. I wrote down my cultivation experience because I hope it helps those fellow practitioners that are struggling because of demonic tribulations. I hope that they will reinforce their righteous thoughts and their faith in Teacher and the Fa.
I would like to take the opportunity to thank our magnificent Teacher and fellow practitioners for their help, care, and concern.