Cultivate Oneself Well in the Family
(Clearwisdom.net) Because my relatives might come to work in the city where I reside, my husband and I intended to buy a house so that it would be convenient whenever my relatives came. However, in our search for houses for sale, my husband was unmotivated and indifferent, and I was very busy all the while. I thought that the man of the house was supposed to have the say regarding such major decisions like a house purchase, but it appeared as if it did not concern him at all. This made me very upset. I kept urging him and asked why he could not be more active. He got irritated and said it would be perfectly fine not to buy a house. Because he touched my attachment to his role in all this, we ended up in disagreement and unhappy.
After the incident, a fellow practitioner happened to visit my home. After she learned about this matter, we discussed it and she persuaded me to look inside myself.
I have taken for granted that a husband should be ambitious in his career, take control, make achievements, and be successful at his job. This everyday people's notion had been controlling me and had reached a dangerous stage.
Looking inward, I asked myself why I demanded this. It satisfied my attachments such as being selfish, vain, and seeking comfort, and hoping my husband would be a model outside and inside the family. Sometimes a cultivator can be pulled strongly into the human dimension and that is what happened to me. I still held fast to everyday people's stuff and even fell into sadness when I let these thoughts take me over. After so many years of cultivation, how can I allow such attachments to persist, which are far from the Fa principles?
I realized that they are not my true self. I sent righteous thoughts to get rid of these foul notions, digging them up from the roots.
Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006:" "...the society that you come into contact with is your cultivation environment." "In Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005" Teacher said:
"So long as you, a Dafa disciple, do things righteously, you will transform the environment around you, and you will change people."
The environment around us is the cultivation environment arranged by Teacher. We have to deal with all issues well, not circumvent them. We should not treat the evil in the same way everyday people do. Whenever a problem occurs, we need to look into ourselves; we should behave like cultivators both in our family and at the workplace. We should always keep in mind that we are practitioners and should live up to the requirements of a cultivator. By doing so, we can influence other people positively.
There are many opportunities to cultivate oneself in the environment of married life. How can I do the three things well if I am not righteous? When you clarify the truth to people around you, many of them judge how you are in everyday life. If you dont behave well, what you say will not possess power, and it affects the credibility of what you say, and thus will affect others being saved. If we do well ourselves, it rectifies all unrighteous factors.
After realizing all of these things, I apologized to my husband. I said that I was not right and that I had been expecting too much of him. Surprisingly, my husband said that it was not wrong to have high expectations of him, and he would be more proactive. The sudden change in him manifested the power of the Fa. I believe that you dont need to find a solution. As long as you deal with the problem according to the Fa, the best solution will be forthcoming.
I appreciate Teacher exposing my shortcomings to me and showing me the supernatural power of the Fa. Going forward in my cultivation, I will be more diligent and keep looking inward. Foremost we should have righteous thoughts and actions in order to disintegrate the evil, to clarify the truth and to save sentient beings. Our righteousness surpasses the evil. Only righteous thoughts and actions can resolve conflicts, upgrade us, and enable us to do the three things well.