Teacher's Infinite Grace My Experiences Over the Last Seven Years
(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, compassionate and magnificent Teacher! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I would like to take this opportunity to share experiences from my over seven years of cultivation.
From as early as I can remember, I knew I was different from other children. I had a congenital hipbone dislocation, I had problems with my knees and I had scoliosis (my back was curved in the shape of an "S"). I couldn't extend my legs normally so walking was very difficult for me. When I sat down, I had to sit on my knees. I seldom went out to play with other children.
When I started going to school, I had to leave the house. In addition to the pain in my back and legs, I endured teasing, beatings, and curses from mischievous children. I never dared to stand up to them. When I got home, I never told my mother what happened since I didn't want her to worry about me. I was afraid to leave home and often cried. I was jealous of other children when they played outside. Since there was no middle school in my village, I could not continue school after the age of fourteen.
Going to school was my only dream. The bitter days without school were indescribable. As I got older, day by day, I understood more clearly how difficult my life was going to be. I lost confidence in my future and attempted suicide twice. Later, I knew that it was Teacher's compassion that kept me alive. Teacher wanted me to wait for the day that Dafa would be spread!
The Turning Point of My Life
I married a man from a very poor neighboring family. A year later I gave birth to a baby girl. My husband is a very good person. My mother-in-law, who was over 70 years old, had a stroke and couldn't take care of herself. I took care of her for four years before she passed away. I then led a simple and ordinary life.
After my mother-in-law passed away, I suddenly wanted to move to the city. No one could make me change my mind (I had always lived close to my parents even after I got married). In the city I rented a 100-square-foot room to run a small business. My husband had no choice but to follow me and we left our little girl with my mother. During our four years in the city, although we barely made ends meet and had to move four times, it never occurred to me to leave. Later, I borrowed some money and bought a small house. Our little girl came to live with us and we finally had a stable home.
In the same year, the day that I had wished for for so long had finally arrived and put an end to my suffering. Now I understand that it was Teacher's arrangement that made us move to the city so that we could learn Falun Dafa because there were no practitioners in the village where we used to live.
It was March 1999 when I first had the chance to read "Zhuan Falun" and learn the five sets of exercises. Then every day after I finished my housework, I couldn't wait to read the book and did not want to put it down. Just like Teacher said, my view of the world changed. I was also very excited. I wanted to cry whenever I read the book or did the exercises. I no longer felt fate was unfair to me. Walking the streets, I no longer felt disabled. On the contrary, I felt nobody was as blessed as me. I had a great Teacher and I was learning the precious Falun Dafa, what else did I need? Instead, I felt sad for other people.
Because my body was not straight, the Falun Standing Stance was really difficult for me. But no matter how painful it was, I never stopped before the music finished. Gradually, my back got straighter. However, the sitting meditation was not easy. In the beginning, I put an eight-inch-thick cushion under my hip to bring my legs closer, and then performed the hand signs. After the hand sings, I had to straighten my legs immediately, rest a little bit and then start again. I increased the duration little by little. The pain was so immense that I often had spasms in my limbs. Sometimes, I passed out three times in ten minutes. However, I understood that my karma was enormous and that I had to bear the hardship. Gradually, I no longer needed the cushion and could sit (without crossing my legs) for forty-five minutes.
I still remember one time when my husband and I had practiced the sitting meditation for half an hour; he couldn't stand the pain and wanted to stop. I said to him, "Look, you have to pay your own karma. Can you let Teacher take care of all of it for you? It won't do if you don't suffer for even a little bit of it." Hearing my words, he continued, but my legs started to hurt. I thought, "I can't stop now. To encourage him, I can't stop now." The pain was getting worse and worse and I almost couldn't stand it. Then I heard Teacher's voice, "I deeply understand your pain, but I have to let you cultivate." Tears ran down my face. At the same time, I felt something being pushed out of my legs. Suddenly my legs didn't hurt at all; it was as if they did not exist. The music stopped, but I sat for an extra twenty minutes. That time I truly experienced the wonderful feeling of sitting inside an egg shell.
Shortly after I started the practice, my daughter and I were practicing the third exercise at home. Suddenly, I felt a hard round object hit my lower abdomen with quite some strength. I opened my eyes and saw nothing except my daughter standing quietly in front of me. I suddenly understood that Teacher had just given me a Falun. I was extremely happy. I knew Teacher had accepted me as his disciple. Whenever I think of these two events, I can't help feeling excited. Now my body is almost like that of a normal person, and I can sit in the full lotus position.
Persistent in Cultivation
In the first four months of my cultivation, I was diligent in studying the Fa, doing the exercises and cultivating my character. In four short months, I felt Teacher had pushed me to the maximum in all aspects. When the persecution started on July 20, 1999, I didn't have the slightest bit of doubt in Teacher or Dafa. At that time, I only knew to protect Dafa with a human mind. I was very worried watching the slander about Teacher and Dafa every day on television. I told my husband, "I can't stand such slander. I just want to cry."
On July 22, I got over the worry, and whenever I had the chance, I started to tell people that Falun Dafa is good and Teacher was framed. Later, I thought, "What can I do?"
I started to write "Falun Dafa is good" on small pieces of paper and dropped them on the street with my daughter. It didn't occur to me that people would step on them. I just wanted people to see the words, "Falun Dafa is good." One day after a snowfall, I saw some snow piled up at the side of the road. I thought colorful pennants on top of the snow piles would really stand out. So my daughter and I made some pennants with "Falun Dafa is good" on them and put them on the snow piles. Later, I found more and more ways to clarify the truth to people. I carried a marker with me wherever I went.
Then one day I had a dream that several big words appeared in the eastern horizon. The words were, "Restore Falun Dafa's reputation," and looked a lot like my handwriting. I knew it was Teacher encouraging me to validate Dafa more. I decided to write those words on a piece of cloth. It took me several days as that was my first time making a banner. I made three banners 3 feet long and 1.3 feet wide. My husband and I went to hang them. I asked Teacher to help and it went very smoothly.
Gradually, there were more truth-clarification materials available. I remembered that on Children's Day on June 1st many people went to parks. My daughter and I went to a park to distribute truth-clarification materials. I carried them in a backpack. The park was packed with people. I started to feel afraid and stopped my daughter when she wanted to give people fliers. I kept walking without giving out any fliers. Then someone told me I had dropped something. I then realized the truth-clarification materials I had put in the backpack were scattered over the ground for four or five yards. We hurried to put them back in my bag. My daughter said to me, "Mom, because you didn't distribute the fliers, they are eager to get out of your bag. You dropped so many of them on the ground and no one asked what they are. Why are you afraid to give them out one by one?" I knew she was right. I told her, "After I dropped the fliers, my fear stopped too. Maybe Teacher was helping me to get rid of my fear." My daughter smiled and said, "What do you think?" I said, "Okay, let's distribute them." We gave out all the fliers very smoothly.
Another time, my daughter and I took a bus to attend a wedding. Two days before that, we decided to distribute Dafa medallions in the bus so we sent forth righteous thoughts many times during the two days. After we got on the bus, we didn't talk and just kept sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the dark minions and rotten demons. We asked Teacher to strengthen our righteous thoughts so we could let people on the bus know the truth of Falun Dafa. When the bus reached our destination, we were the only passengers to get off. I felt a little hesitant. We looked into each other's eyes and nodded encouragement to each other. I felt my righteous thoughts growing stronger. My daughter walked to the driver and gave him a medallion. She told him, "Sir, please take this. I hope you can remember 'Falun Dafa is good' and drive safely." The driver happily accepted the medallion. After that, my daughter started to give out medallions to people from the front. I started to give them out from the back. People on the bus accepted them very quietly. People who got them read them without saying anything. People who hadn't gotten them just waited patiently. Just before we were ready to get off, my daughter found an eight- or nine-year-old girl sitting near the door and told me not to forget to give her one. The little girl accepted the medallion very happily. After we got off, we watched the bus drive further and further away. We hugged each other and cried. That was a feeling beyond words. I only wanted to thank compassionate Teacher again.
Our Fa Study Group
In 2002, the truth-clarification materials we had were already very comprehensive. In our area, there were two female practitioners in their sixties and seventies. We often studied the Fa and went to rural areas to distribute truth-clarification materials together. One time, we left home around 2 p.m. and got to our destination around 5 p.m. We found a place to wait for darkness and send forth righteous thoughts. I felt the Chinese character "Mie" covering the whole sky while we were sending forth righteous thoughts. There was a big market there and many small shops nearby. The three of us brought more than seventy banners and some fliers and CDs. We started to hang banners along the more major roads. One banner fell down but we picked it up and tried again. No one saw us. A big dog in front of a house barked at us so we sent forth righteous thoughts. Although the dog didn't stop barking immediately, no one went outside to check it out. We finished the work quickly and smoothly. It shocked the local people. They thought only Dafa practitioners could accomplish such a miracle. The three of us cooperated better and better. We went to rural areas a lot and usually returned home around one or two o'clock in the morning. At first, I was exhausted very quickly. Now when telling people the truth about Dafa, I don't feel tired at all no matter how far I walk. We never worried about not being able to find a taxi to take us home late at night in the rural areas, or about being spotted by other people. Every time we finished our nighttime activities, Teacher arranged a reasonably-priced taxi to take us home. During chilly winter nights, we never had to wait in the cold. We are very grateful to our great Teacher.
In about 2003, several practitioners nearby thought our home could be very good for a Fa study group. So five practitioners and my husband, my daughter and I formed a small Fa study group. After a while, everyone could feel the benefits of the group environment. In such an environment, we encouraged each other, compared our Fa study and cultivation, and cultivated diligently in the Fa. When we didn't have the group environment, it was up to individuals to study the Fa and do Fa-rectification work. The group Fa study built a good foundation for us to cooperate with each other when doing Fa-rectification work. During the discussion time after Fa study, we realized the nearby prison was a dark den where a lot of practitioners were detained. We should eliminate its evil elements in other dimensions. Before, no one would have had the courage to go there. We realized that we could do it as a group. We started to prepare sticker-backed posters and banners. We also went there ahead of time to scout around and sent forth righteous thoughts before we set off. We divided into four teams, each responsible for one direction. Quickly, the prison was surrounded by Dafa banners and posters. One elderly female practitioner even put a poster on the prison gate. Later we heard that it greatly encouraged practitioners detained inside. With this experience, we went to that prison several times. Later, around city government buildings and several main streets, people often saw Dafa banners.
We also tried to go to rural areas. Sometimes we took two cars with four or five people in each car. The results were also very good. We were able to distribute all the truth-clarification materials smoothly.
The study group at home has never stopped. The group members are continuously changing too. Practitioners who left formed new study groups. Now when I meet fellow practitioners, the first thing I ask is if they have Fa study groups. I try to help every practitioner realize the benefits of group Fa study. For those who don't have a good group study environment, we believe creating such an environment is necessary and send forth righteous thoughts for it. No matter how difficult it may be, we have always been able to set them up eventually. Then those Fa study groups would help local practitioners to set up more groups.
Teacher wants us to improve as one body. I think that in order to set up truth-clarification material sites everywhere, the first thing we need to do is to set up Fa study groups. With a solid Fa study group in the area, a truth-clarification material site can operate smoothly. If every practitioner can attend group Fa study regularly, then cooperation will be very easy among local practitioners. Whenever something happens, every practitioner can be notified. If practitioners with different understandings stick to their own views, they can have discussions in their Fa study groups as soon as possible. When everyone tries to examine himself or herself, the group harmonizes better and sooner. It is just like what Teacher says,
"In the end, thousands of energy channels will join together and turn ones body into one without any energy channels or acupuncture points" (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun).
This is my personal understanding on setting up a Fa study group. I think every practitioner's cultivation state directly affects the state of the one body and the progress of Fa-rectification. Then shouldn't we take our cultivation state seriously? How can anyone let his or her own cultivation state affect the progress of Fa-rectification? The Fa-rectification also needs our Dafa disciples' assistance to move forward! Let us let go of ourselves, truly melt into the Fa, form an impenetrable one body, and follow Teacher to Consummation!
(From the Third Internet Experience Sharing Conference for Practitioners in China)