On the Path Back Home
(Clearwisdom.net) I learned Falun Dafa in the Spring of 1999. In recalling the past several years, although my cultivation experience is simple, I have realized more and more clearly that I am walking a bright path back to my origin. With benevolent Teacher's help, I am walking towards my real home. I have gone from being an ordinary person with a body full of karma, to someone who is able to fulfill my great vow of assisting Teacher in rectifying the Fa with other practitioners during this special period. When recalling how I became a Falun Dafa practitioner, I often feel Teacher's great grace and that I am so lucky and happy.
One day in 1999, after I had just learned the exercises at a Falun Dafa practice site near my work unit and attended morning practice for a month, I did not see any other people at the practice site. Later, I heard that the government was no longer allowing the public to practice Falun Dafa. I knew Falun Dafa was good, so I made sure to do well in all aspects and let everyone see what a practitioner is like. Since the TV and radio stations had been spreading words defaming Falun Dafa, an argumentative colleague said some bad things about Dafa. In front of a room full of colleagues, my rebuttal left him speechless. Since then, no one has said one bad word about Dafa in front of me.
However, because I did not understand the Fa deeply and could not find other practitioners to share experiences, even under a relatively loose environment, I did not strictly persist in studying the Fa and practicing the exercises. I did not understand why practitioners went to Beijing to appeal. Later, I was deceived by the staged "self-immolation." I could not understand why the people shown in the video and falsely portrayed as practitioners did not act according to the Fa and why they set themselves on fire. Although I knew that Dafa was good in my mind, I nonetheless stopped practicing.
In late 2001, I went back to my hometown and learned the truth about the self-immolation from one of my older sisters (a Dafa practitioner). I suddenly became clearheaded and returned to cultivation again. However, since I did not have other practitioners' contact information, I had to cultivate alone. Fortunately, I found a part-time job soon after I decided to resume cultivation. I had a little bit more money and had enough time to study and memorize the Fa. I had no access to find truth-clarification materials, so I just wrote flyers with feather pens by myself (I practiced brush calligraphy before). Then I filled an old shampoo bottle with paste and posted the hand-written flyers around in public places. Later, I wrote letters to my former teachers and classmates to clarify the truth. One day, I picked up a flyer on street which listed the names of many evil people at the local prisons and labor camps. I then wrote letters to those people one by one to persuade them not to do evil acts.
When I sent righteous thoughts in the beginning, I often did not wake up at midnight even though I set the alarm. I was very worried, so I decided to change my schedule of practicing the exercises from morning to 10:30 p.m.. In this way, I would not miss sending righteous thoughts at midnight. In the beginning, I felt very sleepy. But I was fine after I persisted for a while.
One day in the early summer of 2002, it felt very painful when I started to sit cross-legged to do the meditation. I saw that one of my legs was black and the other white. I wondered why so much karma came out all at once. When I had just obtained the Fa, I could sit cross-legged on the first day. Later, I could follow the exercise music and finish the meditation exercise. Although my legs had pain, they never felt as painful as they did this time. Why did I step backwards? Veteran practitioners had cultivated several years and had laid a solid foundation. I thought that compared with others, not only was I already late in obtaining the Fa, but I had wasted so much time even with no interference. I did not go out to validate the Fa before, so I had fallen far behind. Now I should bear more and pay more to catch up, shouldn't I? Therefore, no matter how painful it felt, I did not take my legs down. I repeatedly recited Teacher's words,
"When it's difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it's impossible to do, you can do it" (Zhuan Falun).
I kept my legs crossed until the music ended an hour later. I emerged in a sweat.
On the next day, it felt very painful again when I started to sit cross-legged. I saw that one of my legs was black again. However, I resolved not to take down my legs. When it felt hard to bear, I recited the Fa. Teacher said,
"Whether you can practice cultivation all depends upon whether you can endure, sacrifice, and suffer. If you can commit your mind, no difficulties can stop you. I would say that there is not a problem" ("Lecture 4" from Zhuan Falun, 2000 Translation)
This situation lasted three months. Near the end of the summer, one day after I bore the pain and finished the meditation, I opened my eyes and saw my six-year-old daughter squat beside me and say, "You are great," and then left. Since then, when I sit cross-legged for the meditation exercise, my legs do not change color and I do not feel pain during the hour. I can now see how a hopeless situation can turn around to become very good.
We should persevere in practicing the exercises, but we need pay more attention to studying the Fa. I understand that I can assimilate to Dafa better by memorizing the Fa. Since my schedule was not tight, I started memorizing the Fa in the last half of 2002. At the beginning, the pace was very slow and I was often absent-minded. I could not finish one page in an hour. However, I did not give up. I kept memorizing the Fa every day, and I always reminded myself to eliminate stray thoughts and concentrate on the Fa. I could focus on memorizing the Fa again as soon as my mind started wandering. In this way, my main consciousness became stronger and stronger and the pace faster and faster. Later, I could finish three or four pages in an hour. After I finished memorizing the Fa twice, I felt that I could finish everything smoothly. Especially when my husband was on his business trips, I wrote truth-clarification posters in the daytime and pasted them on the street at night. Wherever I went, it was very quiet, and there was no interference at all. After I finished and went back home, my daughter was still sleeping soundly.
Teacher said that clarifying the truth is the master key. In late 2004, I clarified the truth to a neighbor who had an insurance business. She said she knew another Falun Gong practitioner nearby. I asked her to help me to contact that practitioner. Through that practitioner, I now have contacts with other practitioners. I am able to read Teacher's new articles and truth-clarification materials soon after they are published. There is no need for me to go back to my hometown to get them. Later, with practitioners' help, I built up my own family production site for truth-clarification materials. I learned how to go to online, download Teacher's articles and other materials, print Minghui Weekly, and more.
Regarding expenses, I did not use other practitioner's money. Basically, I paid for everything myself. I know that making copies of CDs and printing truth-clarification materials including the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party requires more money, so practitioner's money should be directed to the materials production sites. Therefore, I spent my own money to buy a printer, copier, ink, etc. Before I contacted the local practitioners, I mailed most of my salary to my older sister in my hometown to produce truth-clarification materials there. Now, I can do it myself. I think the reason why I can have a relaxed job and good salary is because of Teacher's arrangement. Except for living expenses, the money I earn should be used to validate the Fa and save people. Teacher has given us so much-- so much that even using all the money I earn is not a big deal. Therefore, in the past several years, I have never bought expensive clothes nor any cosmetics. Because I cultivate in Dafa, my heart is filled with sunshine. Although I have not used any cosmetics, everyone says that I look young. I am nearly 40 years old, but many people have said that I look to be 24 or 25 years old.
In these two years, because I was busy in producing truth-clarification materials, I sometimes overlooked studying the Fa. The attachments of doing things and pursuing comfort were not cleared away for a long time. Sometimes, I practiced the five exercises once in two days. My mind was then not as clean when sending righteous thoughts. I will pay more attention to these issues. As of today, I will try my best to do better and completely give up those bad things. I will not let the old forces take any advantage. I will cherish what I have experienced and this eternal chance. Together with fellow practitioners, I will cultivate wholeheartedly, fulfill our prehistoric grand vows and go back to our wonderful home.