(Clearwisdom.net) After reading the article, "Call for Papers for 'The Third Mainland China Falun Dafa Practitioners Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference on the Internet'" on the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom), it made me think about past articles that I had written for the first two Internet-based conferences. After careful re-examination, I realized that my previous cultivation experiences fell short in being able to truly help improve a life in the Fa-rectification period. In the middle of writing this article, I unexpectedly became busier in validating the Fa. As a result, I was not able to continue writing for quite a long time. Towards the end of September, I dreamed that a grand meeting convened in the Buddha Kingdom. The meeting was to act as a historical reference for the cosmos. Those who attended would bring good fortune to the beings in the cosmos, but I missed it. I woke up crying and truly felt deep regret and repentance in my heart. Afterwards, I found time and began to rewrite the article.

The first article I wrote for the mainland Chinese experience sharing conference reflected that I did not step out of individual cultivation; rather it was a process of purification and improvement of a life saved by Dafa. During the second experience sharing conference, I understood a little bit about Fa-rectification, but was still not clear, as I was full of appreciation towards Teacher and Dafa, and did things emotionally. This time, I would like to share my cultivation experiences with a pure and indebted heart - for the eternal oath, step out of the selfish characteristic of the old cosmos and assist Teacher in validating the Fa.

1. Getting Rid of Fear

I would like to share how I got rid of the attachment to fear with the help of Teacher's hints and assimilated to the Fa.

One time after group Fa-study and sharing, a fellow practitioner and I walked home together. The next morning, I heard that this practitioner was illegally arrested immediately after we parted. I got to know the practitioner because we both produce truth-clarification materials from our houses. He had a technical problem and asked me for help. I took him to the group Fa-study without knowing his name. Prior to going to the group Fa-study, he had asked for my cell phone number, which was not encrypted and had put the slip of paper inside Zhuan Falun.

Upon hearing the news of his arrest, I began to regret that I did not ask him to encrypt my cell phone number and wondered whether the police would find it when they conducted their search. When I had this thought, I became very fearful. I then began to transfer the truth-clarification materials and Dafa books to somewhere else. I also stayed home, thinking that the police may be looking for me and I did not want to cause trouble for other practitioners.

One night, I had a dream that I climbed down a water pipe of a tall building with my hands and feet, got on a bike and rode away. After I woke up, I realized that as a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, once one develops the selfish thought of protecting oneself, one is already falling down in cultivation. Although I realized my fear was actually the manifestation of selfishness, I still looked for excuses for my attachment. I also thought, "This fellow practitioner never joined group Fa-study, how would he behave in front of this type of ordeal?" I sent forth righteous thoughts for him and made fliers to rescue him. However, I suddenly suffered from a serious bout of diarrhea and my whole body became extremely weak. I wanted to go out to share with fellow practitioners and ask them to send forth righteous thoughts for me, but I could not leave the toilet. It was only then that I realized I should look inwards.

When I was sending forth righteous thoughts, I asked Teacher to strengthen my righteous thoughts and clear away the attachment of fear. Immediately after I loosened my hands from the jieyin position, a fellow practitioner called and told me there would be a small group sharing. This was the opportunity I had been hoping for. When the practitioner asked whether I could go, without hesitation I said, "Yes!" I let go of the attachment to fear and "I have diarrhea," and thus had no symptom during the small group sharing. Teacher is always protecting Dafa disciples.

From this experience, I enlightened to the fact that the attachment of fear seriously holds us back from saving sentient beings.

Another time, the attachment of fear came up again. A local practitioner was arrested by the police and only released after he became "critically ill." In order to let the local people see how the police persecuted a good person, I wanted to take pictures of the practitioner in a timely manner. At that time, however, I did not know where this practitioner was, his current condition, or whether he would cooperate to take the pictures. I did not know how to contact him. However, when our xinxing reaches the standard of the Fa, everything will be arranged for us. A fellow practitioner came to tell me that the practitioner was living at someone's home and that I could go ask for his permission. I found the practitioner without difficulty. Although he was worried, he agreed to have his picture taken to expose the persecution he suffered. I was furious at the Chinese Communist regime's evil persecution of my good fellow practitioner when I saw how emaciated his body became after suffering tortures; he was only skin and bones.

Back at my residence, I began to download the pictures and write about the practitioner's persecution story. During this time, my fear surfaced. When I finished, I breathed a sigh of relief and gave the practitioner beside me my password to encrypt the disc and the location of data, etc. I nearly burst into tears afterwards. I unconsciously thought, "Once the information is sent out, the police will try to find out where it was sent from and I will be persecuted." The fellow practitioner did not notice, and I suddenly felt it was not the right state to be in, as it was a very dangerous thought. I realized it was fear.

Later, while I was doing the fifth meditation exercise, my attachment to fear surfaced again. This time it was enhanced by the old forces, as I clearly saw two German shepherds appear in front of me. After I finished doing the exercises, I asked the fellow practitioner to help me understand my situation. The practitioner said the two dogs I saw must have meant the police, and our materials production site probably had a leak, so it was not safe. Upon hearing that, I became afraid. Then I thought about how in the past other practitioners handled difficulties they encountered at the materials production site - they would search inwards to see where they fell short in cultivation. Even when many of the interferences seemed to be dangerous, they were all dissolved by Teacher.

Teacher said,

"Calmly reflect on how many attachments you have.

As you get rid of human mentality, evil is naturally defeated" ("Don't Be Sad" from Hong Yin II)

For practitioners who have been viciously tortured in prison, once they let go of their attachments, they are rescued by Teacher. When they are released, they return to the Fa-rectification and the salvation of sentient beings. So, what do I have to be afraid of?

When I sat down to look inwards, I found the cause of my problem - the evil interference targeted my attachment of fear and attempted to stop me from posting the pictures on the Internet and exposing the persecution. But why did the interference occur? Which part of my state is not pure in validating the Fa? I found another human notion, which was that I thought a lot about the pictures themselves, was attached to myself, and to doing things. I did not rationally validate the Fa. Instead, I had the showoff mentality and the joyful mentality of a journalist who had found good material to use; so the evil took advantage of my attachments and notions. I loosened my hands from the jieyin position and told the practitioner that I was fine now because I had found my attachments and purified my mind, and that I must send out the pictures!

2. Harmonize the Materials Production Site in Regards to Funding

After the persecution began in 1999, I lost my job. Later, I got my job back, as well as a higher wage because I completely denied the old forces' arrangement and would only follow Teacher's path. I also studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts.

One time, we wanted to set up a materials production site, but a fellow practitioner was worried because we didn't have the necessary funding. I told the practitioner that I would help pay for part of the cost since I had a stable job. However, the practitioner's eyebrows were still tight because it did not completely solve the problem. Although I was paid a good salary, the majority of my savings was lent to my family members and I did not know when I would get it back.

During that period of time, I read a story on "Minghui Weekly" about Buddha Shakyamuni giving a talk about the Fa principles. Every person who went to listen to the Fa brought an oil lamp. The evil tried to interfere by creating wind to blow out everyone's lamps. Every oil lamp went out except for an old woman's lamp, which was bright and lit the audience hall. Other people could not understand why their lamps went out but not the elderly lady's. Buddha Shakyamuni said it was because the elderly lady had a steadfast heart towards Buddha. After I recalled this story, I felt I did not meet the requirements of a Dafa disciple. I have a stable income and no family burden, why can't I abandon everything? When I went to ask my family members whether they still needed the money, they didn't ask any questions and returned the money they had borrowed. Thus, the money for setting up the materials production site was ready.

Teacher said in the Fa,

"Giving up wealth is, of course, an aspect of loss, and a relatively major aspect as well. But the loss we refer to is not limited to this narrow scope. As practitioners, in the course of cultivation there are so many attachments to be relinquished, such as the mentality of showing off, jealousy, the competitive mentality, and zealotry. Many different attachments must be discarded, for the loss we discuss is one in a broad sense. During the entire course of cultivation, we should lose all everyday people's attachments and various desires." (Zhuan Falun)

For me, the attachment to money and wealth are the easiest to abandon compared to other attachments like jealousy, the mentality of showing off, and zealotry. We should not have the pursuit of gaining more merit and virtue in the future when we give money to make truth-clarification materials, but to give wholeheartedly for the sake of the sentient beings urgently waiting for salvation.

Another time when the materials production site was out of funds, I took money out of my deposit and left only several hundred yuan to use for living expenses. One fellow practitioner said, "You contributed too much." I asked, "Can you get money from other channels for the materials?" The practitioner replied, "Not yet." I then said, "Just take it. The truth-clarification materials can't be stopped." Unexpectedly, the next day, I had an expense I had to pay for. When I realized I had no money left, I began to have negative thoughts. I have worked for over ten years and had never asked the cadre to arrange work according to my capability, so that I could have more spare time. I then asked myself if I should request the cadre to give me certain work to make more money? I reconsidered because although I might get a higher wage, I would lose spare time to do the three things. I did not want that! I had that thought because I was temporarily short of money, but it was obvious that my xinxing fell short as I did not truly let go of self-interest. I abandoned the attachment to the pursuit of self-interest and in less than 24 hours, my workplace paid me three months of wages. I was truly surprised!

After this incident, I truly cherished Dafa's boundless benevolence. I then put more funds into the Fa-rectification to save sentient beings. Money coming from the Fa should melt into the Fa, as it came to be used during Fa-rectification. This is also when a Dafa disciple truly melts into the Fa.

I have also quietly provided funds many times to harmonize the setting up of the materials production site. Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.,"

"......That's why they look at the results, and if the result of a God's idea can achieve the goal, if it can truly achieve it, then all of them will go along with it. That's how Gods think. Also, if there's something lacking in it they'll unconditionally and quietly supplement it to make things more complete and perfect. That's how they handle things."

This is the standard of the Fa.

3. Step Out of the Attachment to Oneself, Showing Off, Jealousy, and Self-Righteousness

I have been responsible for teaching others how to set up a materials production site and establish contact with other Minghui (Chinese language version of Clearwisdom) volunteers. I have taught several practitioners who wanted to learn, how to set up a materials production site. When some of them did not help in setting up the site, I felt unhappy. Most of them had better conditions than me, as they did not have jobs and had more time. On the other hand, I had to work, study the Fa and practice the exercises, and work on other projects.

I later realized I felt that way because I was still attached to jealousy, fear, the pursuit of comfort, and the show-off mentality. I was jealous that other practitioners had more time to study the Fa and be comfortable; I was afraid when I went alone to install the machines and set up at the site; and with a wide range of contacts, I feared that some practitioners might not cultivate their speech. Some practitioners could not be reached most of the time because their cell phones were turned off. My cell phone, however, was open to the materials production sites and coordinators, and I was on-call all the time. Several times, practitioners urgently called for help and I would go take care of it immediately, stopping whatever I was doing. But when I got there, there wasn't any problem. On several occasions, practitioners did not show up to our appointment and wasted my time. In the state of feeling unhappy, I could not concentrate on sending forth righteous thoughts and studying the Fa. I realized the seriousness of this situation and looked inside even deeper. I found many attachments and notions I still harbored, such as the attachment of selfishness, always feeling I had too many attachments, fear of wasting time that may hinder my cultivation, fear that my level will be low when I complete cultivation, fear of encountering difficulties that I may not be able to solve when installing the machines, not being able to compare to other practitioners who persisted on studying the Fa and doing the exercises well, and have walked well on their paths, etc.

During group Fa-study, I read,

"From an everyday person's level, perspective, and frame of mind, one cannot understand real things." (Zhuan Falun)

I again experienced what Teacher said,

"And in order to enable you to do cultivation practice and improve, I've infused this Fa throughout with every element that can enable a person to improve and ascend through cultivation. As long as you study, any problem can be solved. As long as you cultivate and as long as you're able to understand the Fa from the Fa, there's nothing you can't achieve." ("Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.")

I said to my fellow practitioners, "There are really answers in the Fa that instantly solved my problem. I don't need a long time to share as I should calmly study the Fa." Teacher also said in one of his articles,

"It's in fact exactly because that little bit of your not-yet-removed stuff at your human surface is at work. But when your righteous thoughts are strong enough it's powerless. You all know the Fa is good, that you should safeguard the Fa, that you have to do certain things, and that you have to go save sentient beings and validate the Fa, then when your righteous thoughts aren't up to par your human thoughts get mixed in. Then this makes you agitated like an ordinary person gets, and some people even feel like they've just got to insist on their own ideas, and this, combined with some other factors, has resulted in some situations that shouldn't happen among Dafa disciples." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.")

Every thing encountered by a cultivator is not accidental. We should think about our original oath before we came down to the human world.

A few days ago, Teacher gave me a hint in a dream - I was holding up a weak life from a big group of people when a paragraph of golden words appeared in front of me that seemed to be the oath of which lives to save. I enlightened that I have not done enough in saving sentient beings, especially in clarifying the truth face-to-face.

4. Clear Away the Gap, Improve as a Whole, and Realize the Importance of Materials Production Sites Everywhere

Before I set up the materials production site at home, I occasionally saw that there were mistakes with the Minghui Weekly. Sometimes the binding was wrong and the printing was not clear. Several times, my eyes were full of tears as I knew that practitioners who make the reader have good xinxing on certain levels. It is not that they are not careful, but that they must be too busy and have to endure too much. I also have a part of the responsibility!

In studying the Fa, I realized that the cause of my hesitation in helping with making truth-clarification materials was because of the attachment to myself, and fear of not being able to accept the requirement of Fa-rectification or meet higher standards. Later I had a dream that awakened me. A fellow practitioner was standing and asked me to make materials with the practitioner. I was sitting with my head lowered and said, "You do it first. If we truly lack people, then I shall go." After I woke up, I realized that others have already acted, but I was still hesitant. Making truth-clarification materials is approved by Teacher and gods. I believe Teacher is capable of doing anything, so things that are approved by Teacher will not dare to be stopped by any life in the cosmos. My confidence increased dramatically and Teacher's Fashen made all the necessary arrangements. Later, a relative of mine from another place suddenly gave me an old computer and a fellow practitioner took the initiative to set-up everything for me. I smoothly learned how to break through the internet blockage, and thus played a part in exposing the evil and supporting the "three withdrawals" (withdrawing from the Chinese Communist Party, the Youth League and the Young Pioneers) locally.

After the release of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, I produced materials with fellow practitioners together for a period of time. I was more strict with myself as a cultivator this time. I treated the materials as positive lives and did not have any fear. I only felt honor and appreciation of Teacher's merciful giving. Before, I hardly saw anything when sending forth righteous thoughts. At that time and in that environment, I continuously saw Teacher's hints and encouragements while sending forth righteous thoughts. I saw scenes of a basin that was overflowing with water, which meant I should increase the capacity of my heart; and saw how the dark minions used unnoticeable male and female sentiment to interfere with me, etc.

I shared with fellow practitioners, "Teachers really cares for and is closely watching over us. He does not allow us to hold onto an attachment for even one day by pointing it out for you right away." During that period of time, the evil used every method to separate practitioners by exploiting practitioners' attachments. I told my fellow practitioners that no matter what, we must respect our fellow practitioners. We tell everyday people to respect their lives, so we should set an example for others.

Once I had my legs crossed and my hands were in jieyin, I felt my suspended arms were like mountains and one move would break the universal rule. I was full of joy and felt the sacredness of sharing and sending forth righteous thoughts with fellow practitioners.

"As you already know, Dafa disciples have gone through the process of Consummation, and history today has bestowed upon Dafa disciples an even greater responsibility: not your own liberation and Consummation, but saving more sentient beings. That's why you deserve to be Dafa disciples. So, you've been granted such a great, historic responsibility, and along with it you are given corresponding honor. I haven't said who I am. But all the same, I am rectifying the Fa. Then, as Dafa disciples, today you're able to rectify the Fa together with Master, so I think that as far as what's in store for you in the future--I've never told you specifically but today I'll hint at it--it's going to be the most supreme, unprecedented honor! (Applause)" ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")

Another time during sending forth righteous thoughts, I saw a golden lotus flower plate flying towards me, but with no Buddha on it. I did not think about why, but simply thought that the fellow practitioner did not send forth righteous thoughts well. After sending righteous thoughts, I quietly thanked Teacher and reminded myself to be diligent and cherish this chance. Teacher has prepared everything for Dafa disciples, and is only waiting for our return upon reaching consummation.

I shared with local practitioners my enlightenment and understanding of the role that materials production sites play in validating the Fa. I told them to step out of fear and accept Teacher's merciful protection. They were shocked and have become even more steadfast in doing the three things. Many are now setting up a materials production site at home.