(Clearwisdom.net) I know several practitioners who have been persecuted. Though they suffered many tortures in prison, they didn't give up their righteous thoughts. However, after being released, many have been despondent for a long time. One practitioner who broke out from the evil den with righteous thoughts said to me that he dared not step out to clarify the truth until six months after he left prison. There are also practitioners who are always discouraged. They are unwilling to share with fellow practitioners and don't clarify the truth at all. In regard to the other two things, (studying the Fa and sending righteous thoughts) at the beginning they did a little bit, but later they did nothing. I feel it is such a pity that these practitioners have been able to endure such a harsh environment, yet they are now giving in to despondency.

I'd like to talk about my own experience and how I overcame being despondent. I hope it might provide fellow practitioners with a little awareness and help.

I was recently released from prison. Fa study and reading the Minghui weekly helped me to see my gaps compared with fellow practitioners. I was very impressed by the fast speed of the Fa -rectification process and was happy to see that practitioners are following it strictly. But as soon as I thought about going out to clarify the truth I was afraid and would immediately remind myself of all sorts of persecution I had suffered over the past few years. My divine side, however, also knew that all the sentient beings were waiting to hear the truth. Though I clearly knew which state a Fa -rectification Dafa practitioner should be in, I felt despondent and downhearted because I was unable to do it. Accordingly, I also slacked off in Fa study and sending righteous thoughts.

Right then a practitioner asked me to hand ten copies of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party to another practitioner. That practitioner was unavailable and his family member casually said, "When night comes, I will throw them out!" Hearing this I immediately said, "Give them to me! I will hand them out!" I knew it was not easy to make the truth-clarification materials. We should make use of each piece of printed information to rescue sentient beings. Thus, though I was afraid, I handed out the ten copies of the Nine Commentaries. After that I was quite pleased and became more confident. Though I had an attachment to the fear while doing it, it went much better than I had imagined.

I've realized that fear is a form of matter. The more I think things over and over at home, the more afraid I become. If I am unable to conquer it, this matter will accumulate, and in turn, it will hold me back. In the end, it is quite possible that a practitioner's determination will be ruined. Isn't this what the old forces would like to see? Master said,

"The old forces have arranged for all Dafa disciples a set of their things, so if a Dafa disciple doesn't follow Master's requirements, he must be following the old forces' arrangements." ("Be Clearheaded" Comment on a student's article)

I will walk along the path Master has arranged, not the old forces' path. I want no part of their manipulation and control of my fear. Clarifying the truth negates and eliminates this matter, fear. Then, whenever I could, I handed out a few pieces truth-clarifying information. While I did it frequently, each time I just handed out eight or ten pieces. I was persistent, though, and increased Fa study and sending forth righteous thoughts.

My attachment to fear thus became less and less, and my righteous thoughts became stronger and stronger. It was much easier for me to hand out truth-clarifying materials. I no longer felt it difficult to hand out eighty or one hundred pieces each time. Sometimes when my mind was pure and righteous I was even able to take the initiative to chat with strangers to clarify the truth. A certain practitioner worried that I might be persecuted again, so he advised me to read the Fa more and not to hurriedly go to clarify the truth.

I knew the importance of reading the Fa, but reading the Fa will not automatically eliminate the attachment of fear. This is like when Dafa was persecuted in 1999 - practitioners stepped forward one after another to validate the Fa; who can say that some of them did not have any attachment of fear at that time? Some practitioners were even so afraid that they trembled, but they still resisted the pressure and stepped forward.

By contrast, some practitioners now only study the Fa at home and have never stepped forward. They understand Fa principles and acknowledge that they are unable to step forward due to the attachment of fear, but they always passively wait and watch, holding on to a fortuitous attitude, as if one day the attachment of fear will automatically disappear through Fa study at home. Though there is a big gap between my cultivation and that of those practitioners who have been doing well, I have confidence that I will walk along my path of Fa--rectification more and more righteously, better and better, and gradually diminish the gap until I catch up to the Fa-rectification process.

I sincerely wish for the persecuted practitioners not to continue to remain despondent. Let's study Master's words again,

"Dafa disciples have already gone through such a difficult time. I hope that all of you will walk the last leg of your journey well and treasure the journey you've already completed. Everything of your future is shown in how you validate the Fa. " ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference")(verified)

December 6, 2005