Walk a Righteous Path in this Last Stage of Cultivation
I. Regarding Overall Cooperation
I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1997. In order to avoid persecution, I left home and became destitute in 2001. Due to Master's arrangements, I arrived one day at a material site run by a married couple. After my arrival, we formed a small group. Over the past few years, we have maintained harmony between us, even though sometimes we did not do very well upgrading our xinxing.
In the very beginning, the couple would drive and distribute the materials after we finished making them. They would take over 1,000 copies with them each time. Their child and I would stay at home and send forth righteous thoughts. Sometimes, the four of us would go out together. With Master's protection, we came back safely every time. Occasionally, we came across some tribulations, but we had never had any real problems. Thus, we covered every corner in an area of 50 square miles with truth clarification materials.
In the following three years, in order to help more fellow practitioners step forward and to upgrade together as one body, we gave some materials to other practitioners. We kept one-way contact with fellow practitioners dozens of miles away. The materials we made include Falun Dafa truth clarification materials, Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, VCDs, etc. These materials could be seen everywhere in our area. Some were spread to other counties. We managed our time very well. We made materials for the first half of the night, and afterwards, I would clean and organize everything and burn VCDs. In the morning, I studied the Fa, and in the afternoon I slept.
On a bigger scale as a whole body, we tried to take the first step in our activities. For instance, when some practitioners were illegally arrested, we would immediately consult with fellow practitioners and divide work among us. Some went on the internet and searched for the telephone numbers of the local authorities responsible, some wrote an article to expose the perpetrators, some typed the article, some made photocopies and distributed them. Although we could have done better, we achieved some results of saving sentient beings and shocking the evildoers. More and more fellow practitioners joined us and we did better and better. Presently, with the rapid progress of Fa-rectification, our area is quite stable in catching up with Fa-rectification. More and more sentient beings are saved and more and more people have begun to practice Falun Dafa. Certainly, all achievements come from Dafa and are due to Master's benevolence.
II. Following the Path Arranged by Master Only
I often stayed at the material site and slept there. Because of that, I rarely saw my family members. Since I was not that diligent in cultivation, I often cried for not seeing my husband and children, and stayed in bed for a long time. I felt lonely and wanted to go back home. I exchanged ideas with fellow practitioners who had different understandings. One thought of mine was clear and firm: I wanted to follow the path arranged by Master only. Every time I wanted to go home, I would feel dizzy and weak. My righteous thoughts would be gone. I would try to find excuses from the Fa for the attachment of going home. I would try to arrange my cultivation path on my own and find a path that conformed to my human mentality. In fact, I was grasping qing on one hand and holding the Fa on the other. Wasn't it wrong? When I realized that I was wrong, I worked on it immediately and tried to do better. "With attachments left behind, the lightened boats sail swiftly." (The Knowing Heart). Therefore, in the morning when I was doing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts, I felt as if my face was close to a warm fire. My face turned red. I knew that Master was encouraging me. Thanks, Master. I will definitely assist Master in Fa-rectification until the end.
III. Regarding Using Money or Possessions
I am very careful in spending money and using possessions since Master said,
"I have always taught you to think of others first in everything you do, but does that even cross your mind when you use Dafa disciples' money or possessions?"
"Everyone is putting out for Dafa, and yet some people shamelessly ask for compensation from other students." (Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference)
I know that except for 50,000 yuan contributed by one practitioner and a small amount of money donated by other practitioners, almost all money used at our material site comes from contributions from practitioners working at the site. The amount exceeds 200,000 yuan over the past few years. Fellow practitioners have come to the understanding that our money is actually arranged by Master for us to save sentient beings. So I would never spend any of the money on myself. Since it is impossible for me to work part time, I would bring 2,000 yuan or 3,000 yuan every time I went back home . I have brought about 10,000 yuan from home so far. At least I should not eat other practitioners' food. We are Dafa practitioners and should walk a righteous path. I understand that using fellow practitioners' money is interference to Fa-rectification, and looking from a higher level, one would lose virtue for doing so. I do not accept clothes bought by fellow practitioners either. We must walk a righteous path because we are Master's disciples, and we are Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples.
IV. Breaking through despondency and rectifying oneself
For some time, I was unable to be diligent in cultivation. I could not find the reason. As a result, I slept more and studied the Fa less. I was not tranquil enough while sending forth righteous thoughts, which of course affected the result. I did not feel like making truth clarification materials or burning VCDs. I could not hold my xinxing as well. I was always sleeping. What was wrong? I tried hard to look within, but I could not find out why. Even Master's article "A Will That Ebbs Not" did not wake me up. After Master published his article "The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be," I read it several times but my heart did not move. I kept studying it, and suddenly realized that my attachments to time and qing were being taken advantage of. I wanted the Fa-rectification to end soon so that I could go home to my family.
I felt painful and regretted that I had taken the path of leaving home. I admired practitioners who practiced at home. They could stay with their husband or wife and guide their children to practice as well. They did not lose anything. Wasn't that good? Look at me: I brought so much trouble to others, plus the separation among fellow practitioners by the old forces. I thought more and more and became more and more attached. I could not wake up and did not want even to think about it. The only thing I thought about was going home, but I was also afraid that it was wrong. I thought too much and became very dismayed. I completely forgot my mission, and prehistoric vow. I forgot about the sentient beings waiting for me to save them. I forgot to return to my genuine home.
After I studied again and again Master's article "The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be," I became clear eventually and no longer felt despondent any more. I will cultivate diligently and live up to Master's benevolent salvation, to the expectation of all sentient beings. I will reach consummation and return with Master.