Once My Own Heart Changed, My Husband Watched the Nine Commentaries and Realized the Importance of Quitting the CCP
Although my husband does not oppose Falun Dafa, he is still quite arrogant. He first applied to join the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) while attending college. When he started working, he tried to join it even more enthusiastically. Finally, when he was 40 years old, he was admitted. Soon after, he got a promotion at work.
Recently, my husband refused to withdraw from the CCP. I think he knew how evilly corrupt the CCP was, but he would not withdraw from it because of his attachment to fame and gain. It was very hard for him to withdraw from an organization that he had pursued for dozens of years to join.
At this time in Fa-rectification, it is crucial for people to quit the CCP, as one's relationship with it will determines whether they will be able to enter the future. I totally understand how serious this issue is. However, with my husband I felt unable to do anything to help. When I simply mentioned the issue to my husband, he became enraged and shouted at me, "Just cultivate yourself and leave me alone. I don't care about going to hell!" I was very worried when I saw his angry face.
I discussed the matter with fellow practitioners, and tried various means to change his mind with little progress. He read a small part of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, but refused to read more. He pretty much agreed with the viewpoints in the Nine Commentaries, but he still would not quit the CCP.
I wanted to give up on him. I thought I had already told him everything I was supposed to tell him. He has chosen his own path. It would not be my fault if he felt deep regret in the future.
One day as I was studying the Fa, I thought about "truthfulness, compassion, and tolerance" and gained a new understanding about it. I suddenly realized my selfishness and lack of compassion. He was my husband and we had a predestined relationship. How could I give up on him?
I thought about how I have stumbled on my cultivation path. If Teacher had ever given up on me, what would have become of me? I realized that I had been so busy worrying about my husband that I had forgotten to cultivate myself. That's why my words lacked the power to shake his mind so deeply poisoned by the party culture. No wonder I could not achieve good results.
I let go of worrying. My mind became calm. I said to him with sincerity, "We have been married for more than 20 years. You have done a lot for me. When Falun Gong was suppressed, you were concerned for me. When I was in imprisoned in the labor camp, you suffered a lot. You, as a man, cared for our child and still worried about me. I remember all this. Ancient people said that one would gain boundless virtue supporting a monk with even one meal. You have been supporting my cultivation like this, and have done a good deed too. I cannot thank you every day. But you know what is good and what is evil. You should know how evil the CCP is. I can't bear to see you in the company of evil and be in such great danger without telling you. I worry about you. Do you know that?" He nodded.
There was a holiday on May 1st. I asked him if he would have time to spend with me. He said his schedule was full. I wanted to help him to finish reading the Nine Commentaries, but it seemed impossible now. I wanted him to finish reading the Nine Commentaries no matter what, so I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate any interference.
I said to my husband, "You are not able to stay at home with me for even a day during the holidays. Why not get up a little earlier and spend some time with me in the morning."
He agreed. The next morning, I played a video of the Nine Commentaries, and told him, "You stay in bed. I am going to watch the Nine Commentaries. This counts as you spending time with me."
He said nothing. So we watched one commentary per day. As he had already read the first three commentaries, I started with the fourth commentary. At first he pretended that he was sleeping, but I knew he was listening. When I was playing the fifth commentary, he sat up. When I was playing the seventh commentary, he watched it carefully. Afterwards I said, "See how evil the CCP is. It has killed more people after it gained power in 1949 than all the deaths accumulated in both World Wars. And you still won't let it go? I don't feel safe staying with you. I am afraid you are poisoned by the CCP, and someday you might decide that killing must happen in the name of revolution."
He laughed, "I joined the party only to make a living. I don't really believe in it."
I said, "Then why not quit it? You can use a pen name or an alias. Nobody in your company needs to know."
He thought for a long while, and then said in a soft but decisive voice, "Ok, I'll quit it."
I said, "Think of an alias."
He said, "Any name you like."
I said, "No. This is a serious issue. You are choosing your own future, and it will be bright, so you must choose a name for yourself."
Finally, my husband seriously said a name, and told me that it was his pen name.