From Fearful to Fearless
Since July 20, 1999, Jiang Zemin's regime has used its absolute power over the media, government, police and military, attempting to eliminate Falun Dafa through coercion and lies.
One night in July of 1999, I went to an exercise site to practice Falun Gong. Many practitioners at the site shared their understandings about going to Beijing to appeal for the right to practice Falun Gong. Someone volunteered to help organize the trip for practitioners who wished to go by providing a signup sheet. I signed a fake name due to a strong attachment of fear. At the time I realized that it was not right, however, my fear was so strong that I could not overcome it.
The persecution intensified over time. One day the manager at my work unit said, "Hand in all your Falun Dafa books to the police department." I knew that I could not give up my beloved books, but in my heart I was terrified. That night I felt so miserable that I could not sleep at all.
The next day, the manager said to me, "If you do not want to hand in your books, then you have to go to the police department." I cried while telling him how much I had benefited--spiritually and physically--from practicing Falun Dafa. He sighed and said that the request had come from higher authorities and that he had no choice. He suggested maybe I could select a few "not-so-important" books to hand in. I told him that every book is important. I cherish Master's books more than my own life. However, in the end, I handed in one book.
Through continual Fa-study and by participating in Fa-validating activities, I noticed my righteous thoughts becoming stronger, and my attachment to fear becoming weaker.
One day I went to a city to pick up Falun Dafa truth-clarifying materials. On my way back home, I had just gotten off the train, when all of a sudden several policemen surrounded me. I did not know that I had dropped my train ticket onto the ground. At that moment, I thought that they had probably discovered my truth materials, yet I was very calm. I thought, "I am Master's disciple and I am doing the most righteous thing in the world. None of you can scare me." Then one of the policeman said, "Pick up your paper from the ground." I looked down where he was pointing and saw my ticket.
Today, no matter whether I am driving or walking, I always look for chances to tell people the truth or explain more about the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party published by The Epoch Times newspaper. I also utilize the addresses in my work unit's telephone directory to mail out truth-clarifying materials. Once, I left a piece of mail on the desk in the mailroom. The office manager recognized my handwriting and sought me out. Then he asked me to write a guarantee statement. He also threatened to stop paying my salary and fire my son. He said he would also ask my daughter's work place to fire my daughter.
Around 9 a.m. the same day, my son came home and told me he received a notice from the work unit telling him not to report for work any more. I was quite calm at that moment and said to my son, "Do not worry, I will find a way for you to drive a taxi." I understood that this was not just humans persecuting my family; it was interference from the old forces in other dimensions. I started sending forth righteous thoughts. Around 3 p.m., the office manager and three others came to my house and said, "If you want to practice, you can do so at home. Do not contact outside people. We will write a guarantee statement for you." I said, "What you write has nothing to do with me." I started to clarify the facts about the fake stories and slander broadcast on state television. I also told them about how Falun Dafa has spread to more than 60 countries and about Jiang Zemin, Luo Gan, and other high-level Chinese officials being sued in countries around the world. Before they left they said, "OK, your son can come to work tomorrow and you will get your salary as well."
My general environment is very friendly now. The managers at my work unit often ask me for Falun Dafa materials and many of my former co-workers are now Falun Dafa practitioners. The chief of the local civil administration bureau, the head of the examination section at the procurator's office, and the chief of the detention center have become new practitioners. My hometown is in a village. In order to save my parents, relatives and friends in my hometown, I went back this February during Chinese New Year. I clarified the truth whenever I saw a gathering of people. I also brought flyers and DVDs, which many people were happy to take. Some actually fought for the DVDs, so I told them to pass them on to their friends and relatives after they finished watching them, and not to destroy them. Sometimes after sending forth righteous thoughts at midnight, I would go out in the cold wind and post truth-clarifying signs on the electric poles along both sides of the road.
Now I truly realize that we can eliminate many attachments if we can persistently follow Master's requirements and do the three things well.
Kindly correct me if I have made any improper statement.