How I Got Beyond a Long Period of Tribulations Caused by Karmic Illnesses
I have noticed that there are some fascinating articles about karmic illnesses on Clearwisdom.net. I myself have considerable experience with this particular issue. Whenever I witnessed fellow practitioners being brought down or passing away as a result of such illnesses, I would feel an extreme bitterness in my heart. Here, I would like to share my own understandings and experiences of karmic illnesses with others who may encounter similar tribulations. I want everyone to know how eventually, assisted by extended periods of sending forth righteous thoughts, I overcame tribulations that had lasted nearly four years.
In 2000, when my baby was about to be born, I chose to have a cesarean delivery because I was so afraid of the pain of natural childbirth. My mind was filled with ordinary people's stories of terrible and excruciating experiences. I didn't treat myself as a practitioner, and had no righteous thoughts whatsoever. When anesthetic drugs from this cesarean delivery got into my body, I became trapped in a tribulation that would last for the next four years. What now seems even worse than the actual tribulation is the fact that I didn't enlighten to its cause any sooner.
It was in the year 1999 that evil forces appeared from everywhere to persecute Falun Gong. These forces started to systematically crush my physical body, and I didn't realize what was happening until 2004, when I began to cleanse my own body. At first just my vertebral column ached, but eventually the pain spread also to my waist, back and chest. Every day these pains made it almost unbearable for me to carry on. My physical body and mental state were caught together in a vicious negative cycle. Some time later, I gradually came across various new articles by Teacher. One article by a fellow practitioner touched me particularly; this practitioner described how she spent an hour or two every day just cleansing her own field by sending forth righteous thoughts, and how much better she felt after doing that. I learned from this article that sending forth righteous thoughts can last as long as necessary.
In March 2004, I finally started cleansing my own field by sending forth righteous thoughts. I held the strong determination in my mind that I must use the power of Falun Dafa to clear away any possible problems in my own physical body.
In my dreams, I could see things that were being cleared from my body, even though my third eye was not yet open. As my body was cleansed, I felt numerous veins in my body expand, and chunks of bad things felt like they were dissolving. Even though the pain was excruciating, I gritted my teeth and made it through. After more than two months of cleansing in certain localized areas, these bad things were eventually burnt away. The wonderful result notwithstanding, the cleansing process was extremely painful, and I withstood extreme pain throughout the entire process. Once this intense period subsided, my former difficulties with urination disappeared. Problems such as the frequent and urgent need to urinate disappeared along with the pains I had experienced while urinating. In the next stage, as I started cleansing my vertebral column, I sent forth righteous thoughts every single day. Each day the pains were horrible, but I refused to let that discourage me in the slightest. After the field around the vertebral column was cleaned out, I got in touch with the root cause of all my vertebral problems. Once again, the pain was nearly unbearable as I began to clean out the root cause, but eventually it felt like rectangular-shaped pieces of the substance were peeled off one bit at a time. In my dreams at this point, I saw a large upright snake actually taken out of my body.
The cleansing process has continued to the present moment. At this point, eighty percent of the evil forces surrounding my back and chest have been eliminated, and I am more determined than ever to totally eliminate all of the evil energies. If, at some future date, it is right for me to either stop or not spend as much time sending forth the righteous thoughts, I trust that Teacher will enlighten me.
From Clearwisdom articles I learned of fellow practitioners who were still doing truth-clarification work despite rapidly deteriorating physical health; some even passed away as a result. I admired such practitioners, but, at the same time, I felt a discomfort in my heart over this. My feeling is that we should no longer let the evil forces destroy our physical bodies, but that we should properly protect them in order to save more sentient beings. I hope my experiences can help particularly those who have been struggling with karmic illnesses for long periods of time to recover from their formidable ordeals so that they can have more time to put toward saving sentient beings.
Another point that I'd like to make is that we should not depend unduly on support from fellow practitioners who help us by sending forth righteous thoughts on our behalf. This support is only an external force; each of us must individually recognize that our most important support is that which comes from inside of us. Each of us needs to develop our self-reliance and decrease our dependency upon external support. May all practitioners who have been trapped in their tribulations learn to access the endless power of Dafa within, and to use your own steadfast resolve to overcome any challenges they may face.