Improving with Righteous Thoughts after Several Difficult Lessons
(Clearwisdom.net) I began to practice Falun Dafa in April 1996. I had finally obtained the Fa after experiencing three life-threatening events. I am now 65 years old.
When Jiang Zemin's regime began to persecute Falun Dafa on July 20, 1999, I thought, "Why do they not allow us to practice Falun Dafa?" That night, in a dream, I saw all Falun Dafa practitioners taking an exam. I asked the supervising teacher: "Why didn't you allow me to take the exam?" The supervising teacher said, "You go and scatter the flower seeds," giving me a big pack of flower seeds. In the dream I scattered the flower seeds to the sky, to the ground and to all the apartment buildings in the community. Occasionally, people looked out of the windows and asked me for flower seeds. I happily scattered the flower seeds to them. The scene was truly grand.
This dream made me realize after I awoke that I was supposed to validate the Fa. Then I made small banners using red and yellow cloth, placing them in the apartment building areas and the streets. Each time, I distributed about ten of them. Later, fellow practitioners and I worked together in cooperation. I did things fast and was not afraid of being caught by the authorities. Some fellow practitioners could only hang two to three banners at a time. They all hoped to work with me. I once hung 900 big banners, and on another occasion I hung 500 small banners. In the summer I hung the banners on trees along the roads. They looked liked blooming flowers. The banners in winter were gallantly billowing in the air.
I went out to distribute truth-clarifying materials. Buddhas, Taos and Gods in heaven were also assisting Master in the Fa-rectification and I was greatly encouraged. It seemed that everything was making the road clear for me when I went out to clarify the truth. There were no obstacles. I left the blessings of Falun Dafa everywhere, no matter whether I was at my son's home or at my daughter's home. The police had headaches about me, as they could not apprehend me. Then I developed a mentality of zealotry and of showing off. I didn't pay attention when fellow practitioners pointed this out to me. The evil finally made use of my gap.
One day in mid-August 2000, another practitioner and I went to see whether the truth-clarifying materials put up the previous day were still there. The persecutors were already waiting for us and abducted us. They detained the fellow practitioner in a prison the next day. My one unrighteous thought involved two fellow practitioners. The policemen began to search each home in my district for Falun Dafa practitioners and materials. The loss was huge. The truth-clarification activities in my district came to a low point. I felt great regret about the loss I had caused to Falun Dafa and fellow practitioners. When the fellow practitioner came to see me later, both of us cried. He said that he still believed in me and that I could certainly do well again. We talked for a long time that day.
I made up my mind to compensate for the loss I had brought to fellow practitioners and Falun Dafa. I solemnly declared to completely oppose the old forces' persecution of me. Wherever I went, I asked fellow practitioners when I saw them, "Do you know the event that took place in the xx District? That happened because I did not do well. I want to continue to practice Falun Dafa. Please help me!" My sincerity moved fellow practitioners. They gave me materials whenever I asked. I ran between my district and others, delivering materials to fellow practitioners in my district.
Master says in Touring North America to Teach the Fa,
"I have seen from most students' actions that they have, after being persecuted, come to understand with greater composure and rationality the seriousness of Dafa and cultivation."
This is very true. The hard lesson made me feel extremely bad and so I resolved to do well thereafter. I went from door to door and distributed Falun Dafa materials to the hands of fellow practitioners. I looked at the faces of fellow practitioners and asked whether they were satisfied with the materials. If they were not satisfied, I would go right away to get what they wanted. I told fellow practitioners that I would be fast and would come back quickly. Although I was over 60 years old at that time, for two years I persisted in delivering Falun Dafa materials to both young and older fellow practitioners. When the weather was cold, I traveled by bus without taking a taxi, as I felt that I should not misuse the money accumulated penny by penny by Falun Dafa practitioners for the purpose of producing truth-clarifying materials. I overcame a former bad habit this way.
As the Fa-rectification progressed, there was an insufficient supply of materials in my district. Fellow practitioners decided to set up a Falun Dafa materials production site. I thought that my environment and conditions were appropriate, but I did not know much about reading and writing. Then a young female practitioner from another district volunteered to help me, teaching me how to run the site. So, for almost two years I ran the materials production site alone, installing the equipment, buying supplies and printing the materials.
Once, a fellow practitioner repeatedly said that I was too muddleheaded. Finally, I could not tolerate this any more and went to complain at another practitioner's place. The fellow practitioner said, "This is not right. You acknowledged that you were muddled after she said that. When do you think you will stop being muddleheaded? So, go home and look inward. In fact, she is helping you." I did not do anything else but study the Fa after I got home. While studying the Fa I understood better what Master says in "Lunyu" [the preface to Zhuan Falun]:
"In order to explore this domain, humankind must fundamentally change its conventional thinking. Otherwise, the truth of the universe will forever remain a mystery to humankind, and everyday people will forever crawl within the boundary delimited by their own ignorance."
When my fellow practitioner said that I was muddleheaded, I felt that I was confused because I was old. Isn't this crawling within the boundary delimited by my own ignorance? Isn't this looking at sacred things with ordinary eyes? Perhaps my original life is quite young. In fact, being a 65-year-old woman, I knew that I was doing things that young people usually do. I finally changed my conventional thinking. I made up my mind to cultivate diligently, completely opposing the path arranged by the old forces, with my every action and every thought.
With improved thinking and an upgraded level, I became more energetic. Since then, not only did I supply the truth clarification materials to my district, but I also helped three illiterate, older fellow practitioners to study the Fa.
All that I have comes from Falun Dafa. It is Master who gives me wisdom and ability. I will use every means to fulfill my vow to assist Master and save sentient beings.
December 26, 2004