The Attachment of Fear is the Most Serious of Human Mentalities
(Clearwisdom.net) After reading fellow practitioners' experience sharing on getting rid of the attachment of fear, I also want to write up my experience of getting rid of this attachment.
Once at our school, I let pupils recite Teacher's poems from Hong Yin. Some parents informed both the officers supervising our school and the police department. They sent down a document asking for an investigation. I then thought that I had better hide for a while. Indeed, it was the attachment of fear that came up. During that day, I sent forth righteous thoughts as soon as I had a little spare time. I understood from the bottom of my heart that I should deny the persecution and all the old forces arrangements. However, without rationally seeing through the evil's nature, I found my heart in a turmoil and I could not calm down at all. Even after sending forth righteous thoughts and studying the Fa, I was unable to calm down. I kept imagining how the police had found me. I also realized that it was because my righteous thoughts were not strong and my heart could not calm down due to the attachment of fear. However, it was just like a fellow practitioner's saying, "You cannot wipe the fear away. It is pulling you into a trap, making you unable to extricate yourself." I felt annoyed and angry with myself.
Upon sending forth righteous thoughts in the evening, I felt in a daze and suddenly saw that evil was surrounding me forming two circles, pointing at me with their fingers and talking nonsense. When I raised my head, I saw Teacher standing at a distance of 2 meters and I was startled into awakening. Aren't my worries and fears the attachment of seeking? They could incur terrible results. How dangerous it is! All the images I saw were illusions and I could not recognize the arrangement of the old forces.
Then I thought that those kids could have been saved. I cannot have them and their parents, together with the leaders of related units, destroyed by taking part in the investigation and persecution of a Dafa practitioner. How selfish I was. Without thinking of others, I only considered the possibility of my own persecution. As a result, I may have acknowledged the arrangement of the old forces and may really suffer persecution, which will bring damage to Dafa and all sentient beings. Fellow practitioners would send forth righteous thoughts to save me, which would increase their workload and waste their time in saving sentient beings. It would also befuddle those everyday people around me who have come to know some truth. I have come here to save them and I can never do anything contrary to this purpose. Upon thinking of this, I felt a warm current coursing through my whole body. My head cleared up at once as my muddle-headedness disappeared.
I felt a light feeling, and experienced once more the wonderfulness and miraculousness of cultivation. After calming down, I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the arrangements of the old forces and to eradicate the poisonous factors from the evil spirit of the brutal Party, causing their investigation to end up with nothing definite.
After the day originally set for the investigation, I made inquiries about it and learned that nobody had come to do it.
I said on the one hand that I would not recognize the arrangements of the old forces and I seemingly understood a little in my heart, but on the other hand I was interfered with when sending forth righteous thoughts. I realized that I indeed didn't understand the Fa enough and my main consciousness was not strong enough. In fact, I was being selfish during the whole process, just trying to protect myself without thinking about saving sentient beings.
After that incident at school I examined my own problem. During that period of time I made no great progress in my cultivation, always enjoying eating and drinking with several fellow workers. They all knew the truth but I still spent my time among them, not clarifying the truth in a thorough way. Another problem is that I always studied the Fa or sent forth righteous thoughts without a calm heart. I did not put enough importance on practical cultivation. Therefore, the evil took advantage of my loopholes.
Before this past "October 1," I heard that my unit leader was looking for me and the leader from a higher level was still looking into that incident. Then my first thought was to hide at home for several days but my righteous thoughts came out at once: "No! Isn't that recognizing the arrangement of the old forces?" When I had enough righteous thoughts, everything went in a normal way. I realized that the attachment of fear is the most serious of human mentalities and we should make every effort to remove it.