Cultivating Myself During the Process of Saving Sentient Beings
Greetings, revered Teacher! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I began to learn Falun Dafa in 1995. Despite having never missed one new article by Teacher, I had still not studied the Fa well, and I was not clear from the perspective of the Fa why I should cultivate. However, after practicing Falun Dafa all my illnesses were gone and I had been changed into a new person. In my limited understanding, I could perceive that Teacher was good and the Fa was good, so I brought books written by Teacher to my friends and relatives as well as my children's teachers hoping they could come to practice Falun Gong.
Although I was not very clear as far as the Fa principles are concerned, Teacher was merciful to me and gave me a very good environment for cultivation. I was surrounded with diligent practitioners and assistants who pulled me along. They also made it possible for me to read Minghui news every day and obtain Teacher's new articles on time even after the persecution began on July 20, 1999. It felt like I was attending an international experience sharing conference every day. What's more, at that time we held local experience sharing conferences from time to time. Under the compassionate care of Teacher and help from the fellow practitioners I became more determined to follow Teacher to return home, and enlightened to the reason why I should practice Falun Gong, to return to my original, true self and go from humanness to divinity. The process of cultivation is the process of letting go of attachments. I quickened my pace in order to catch up with other practitioners and join Fa-rectification. I had been mixing personal cultivation with Fa-rectification cultivation. Owing to a lack of solid cultivation before the persecution began, I was continuously tripping over myself, just as Teacher has described.
Letting Go of Reputation, Self-Interest, and Feelings among Everyday People during the Process of Totally Negating the Persecution
I have liked music ever since I was a child. Therefore, when I accompanied my child to music class, I carried this attachment with me. As a result I was attached to listening to the class and even hoped my child would become one of the best in the field. Because of this strong attachment that I did not want to relinquish, the dark minions and rotten ghosts took advantage of my attachment and laid their dark hands on me. I had an accident while accompanying my child to school. When it happened I realized the seriousness of my injury. Two of the thoracic vertebrae were pressed together and showed a bulge. I knew the dark minions wanted me to be paralyzed. However, the first clear thought that came to my mind was Teacher's words, "Good or evil comes from a person's spontaneous thought." ("Upgrading Xinxing," from Lecture Four of Zhuan Falun) At the time I thought that I did not want to be paralyzed. On recalling the incident, if I were not a Falun Gong practitioner I would have been paralyzed. Owing to the mentality of fear, I dared not validate the Fa at that time.
After returning home [from the hospital] I hoped fellow practitioners would come and help me to find out where my problems were. They thought that I had loopholes, and said that even so, I still should not be persecuted. Thereafter, we studied, sent forth righteous thoughts and eliminated the dark minions and rotten ghosts together. Three days later I found that I had become hunchbacked. I thought even a true hunchback could be straightened up, but what happened to me was nothing. Fellow practitioners said the fact I wanted to "straighten up my hunchback" was acknowledging the persecution. I knew that without Teacher's protection I would be truly paralyzed. Under the compassionate care of Teacher, the help from the fellow practitioners and my own righteous thoughts to negate the persecution, I was able to venture out of my home within two weeks.
During this period of time I did not stop carrying out my duties. I was on my knees and put the printer on the bed to print Minghui Weekly as usual. From the incident I found my fundamental problem, which was the pursuit of reputation, self-interest, and feelings among everyday people. All of this had formed strong attachments. As a practitioner I must let go of these attachments, however I firmly held these things and did not want to let go of them. Teacher said before the persecution of Falun Gong began in China,
"Whether you can let go of ordinary human attachments is a fatal test on your way to becoming a truly extraordinary being. Every disciple who truly cultivates must pass it, for it is the dividing line between a cultivator and an everyday person." ("True Cultivation" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
"Those who are attached to their reputations practice an evil way, full of intention. Once they gain renown in this world, they are bound to say good but mean evil, thereby misleading the public and undermining the Fa.
Those who are attached to money seek wealth and feign their cultivation. Undermining the practice and the Fa, they waste their lifetimes instead of cultivating Buddhahood.
Those who are attached to lust are no different from wicked people. While reciting the scriptures, they even cast furtive glances; they are far from the Dao and are wicked, everyday people.
Those who are attached to affection for family will definitely be burned, entangled, and tormented by it. Pulled by the threads of affection and plagued by them throughout their lives, they will find it too late to regret at the end of their lives." ("Cultivators' Avoidances" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
Using Fa Principles to Return My Heart to Righteousness and Let Go of Reputation, Self-Interest, and Feelings among Everyday People
During our Fa-rectification cultivation, Teacher asked us to totally negate the old forces, and during the process of negating the persecution, we must save sentient beings while cultivating ourselves well. The persecution has been going on for more than six years now. Some fellow practitioners are attached to an early completion of the Fa-rectification, however, my attachment was just the opposite. I was afraid that the Fa-rectification would end soon. This was because I knew that I was not diligent in my cultivation. There were two reasons for this. First, I had problems believing in Teacher and Dafa because of the brainwashing of the evil party culture in the form of atheism. So, I would always use the evil party culture to think whenever I came across problems. Second, I had always done well in whatever I did, so with my success came a serious attachment to fame and gain. After practicing Falun Dafa I was able to see that these things were not good, but I still grabbed them firmly and was unable to let them go. In writing this sharing I enlightened that these things were not innate, not my true self. Therefore, during the process of repelling and rejecting them, Teacher removed them for me. In the twinkling of an eye I felt what the old forces had created through generations, which was like a thick shell encasing me, falling apart. I thanked Teacher for cleansing me. I felt very happy, relaxed and at ease.
Cultivation is serious. Therefore is dangerous for your heart to be moved by events in human society. If you want to cultivate then you cultivate. You cannot grab the human being with one hand and godhood with the other. You must let go of the human in order to cultivate into a god.
To Cultivate Ourselves Well during the Process of Saving Sentient Beings
Before March, 2005, our truth-clarification materials site had a very heavy work load. At the time I was only responsible for passing on the materials to a few practitioners living close by, but never thought to share in the work of the practitioners who worked at the site. After March, 2005 the materials site was almost completely destroyed. I was forced to leave home and become homeless in order to avoid being arrested and persecuted after I managed with righteous thoughts to foil the policemen's attempts to arrest me and ransack my house. Since then I was unable to obtain Teacher's recent articles and speeches as well as the articles from the Minghui website. I felt extremely pained.
One month later a practitioner found me and gave me Teacher's recent articles and speeches as well as the Minghui Weekly. By that time, the local practitioners enlightened that we should not run one big sophisticated materials site. Instead we should have printing sites spring up everywhere and blossom all over the place. I would become one of the blossoms. At the time, the mentality of fear was not a major issue, but funding was. Practitioners provided me with a computer and I provided a printer myself. With the help of the fellow practitioners I was very quickly able to browse the Internet, download articles, edit and print them. When I began to browse the Internet I felt a faint fear mentality in myself. I sent forth righteous thoughts while browsing the Internet. As a matter of fact, that was a process for me to let go of my fear mentality as well as the mentality of waiting and relying on other practitioners. By then I realized that I was partly responsible for the arrest or even the persecution of practitioners at the former materials processing site. They were under pressure of an overload of work for a long period of time so they did not have enough time to study the Fa. I failed to share their work load, therefore, I felt very sad.
At that time I had another wrong thought. I thought that the more truth-clarification work I had done the more persecution I would have to suffer. That was acknowledging the old forces' arrangements. As a matter of fact, if what I was doing could be done by Teacher with a wave of his hand, then why should I do it? Wasn't it for me to cultivate myself in the process? Though I had enlightened to it I still had fear in my heart. Then I sat down to study Fa. Teacher said,
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Inspired by Teacher's Fa principles, the shell of fear had been peeled off layer by layer. Not long after, we began to burn video CDs once again. These video CDs could be used by us as well as fellow practitioners. This small flower of ours had blossomed in a better and better shape.
After leaving home and becoming homeless to avoid being arrested and persecuted for more than two years, I enlightened that it was time for me to go home nobly and righteously, since home is the cultivation environment of Dafa practitioners and it is not the evil's right to test us. So I went back home, reequipped with the computer and the printer we needed. Fellow practitioners asked me to sort out the documentation of persecution in our province over the last five years. The workload was enormous and there was a very tight deadline. During the process we constantly reminded ourselves to totally negate the old forces. Despite all kinds of interference during the process, we negated them all and did not "cultivate in tribulation." We worked for 17 to 18 hours or even longer every day. My child was crying while working because she was too tired to even hold a mouse. I told her, "Didn't you say it was Teacher who had chosen you? Teacher is watching us!" We finished the task in a little over a month.
During that period of time I found my human sentiments. When my child cried my heart ached and I began to blame fellow practitioners and coordinators for not knowing how heavy the workload was. Actually if we thought of exposing the persecution and saving sentient beings we would feel that all we had done should be done. In order to save us, Teacher have suffered numerous hardships. Comparatively speaking, the hardship we had suffered was really nothing. One night I had a dream in which I saw I was standing by the boundless sea, and waves were rising and falling. The sea water was a bit yellowish. In the distance there were tall buildings and pavilions, all of which were brightly lit. I had to go across the sea all by myself. I knew with my swimming skills it would be impossible for me to swim across the sea. However I jumped into the water without any hesitation. As soon as I touched the water I was up in the sky flying towards the distant seashore. The waves lapped against my face, and very quickly I reached the distant shore. When I woke up I enlightened that Teacher was hinting to me to be more diligent!
In May of this year, I decided to visit my relatives in other parts of the country to try persuading them to quit the Chinese Communist Party, the Communist Youth League and the Young Pioneers. I also brought them the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party VCD. On the day of my departure I learned that the policemen at the train station were checking passengers' backpacks looking for the Nine Commentaries. At the time the fear mentality immerged again. I was afraid to be searched. However, I thought of Teacher's words,
"Yet for cultivators, fear or lack thereof proves [one's] humanity or divinity, and it is what differentiates cultivators from ordinary people." ("Study the Fa Well, and Getting Rid of Attachments is Not Hard")
The fear mentality is, after all, selfishness. I sent forth powerful righteous thoughts to disintegrate the field at the train station which was controlled by the dark minions and rotten ghosts. Instantly I felt calm inside and out. In the evening I sent forth righteous thoughts all the way to the station. When I arrived at the train station my ticket dropped on the ground. A policeman came and helped me to pick it up. He smiled at me while patting me on the shoulder. I reached my relatives and explained to them the truth of Falun Gong. As a result all of my relatives quit the evil party organizations.
Recently the local police station notified the residents to go to the station to have photographs taken for the change to new ID cards. Upon seeing the notice, my human heart was moved, thinking it would be dangerous to go to the police station. A fellow practitioner said, "The fact that you think the police station is a place that persecutes Falun Dafa practitioners is actually giving consent to the old forces. The police station is a place for catching bad guys, not a place for persecuting Dafa practitioners." I studied the Fa while sending forth righteous thoughts. Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference,"
"No matter how much I say, you still have to walk the path of cultivation yourselves. To walk this path well and progress to its end--nothing is more extraordinary. I say that because during the journey you will have hardships, tests of every sort, unforeseen ordeals, and you will have unexpected interference from all kinds of attachments and emotion. The interference will come from family, society, good friends, and even fellow cultivators. And along with this there is interference from changes in the state of human society and from human notions that were formed in society. All of those things can drag you back to being like an ordinary person. But if you can break through all of it, you can advance towards godhood. So as a cultivator, what is truly remarkable is when you can be steadfast and have righteous thoughts so firm that nothing can sway you. Be solid and firm like diamond, or granite, and then nothing can affect you--evil will be afraid at the mere sight of you. If upon encountering trying circumstances your thinking can be truly righteous, then, when faced with the evil's persecution and when faced with interference, just one sentence of yours fortified with steadfast righteous thoughts can instantly make the evil disintegrate (applause), and it will make those who are being used by the evil turn and flee, it will make the evil's persecution of you dissolve, and it will make the evil's interfering with you disappear without a trace. One thought born of righteous faith is all it takes. And whoever can hold firm that righteous thought and go the distance will become a magnificent god forged by Dafa."
After that I walked out of the police station nobly and righteously.
Teacher recently published two new articles "A Will That Ebbs Not" and "The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be." I will seize the time, be diligent, do he three things well, walk the path righteously, and cultivate myself during the process of saving sentient beings.