Becoming Mature in Fa-rectification Cultivation
(Clearwisdom.net) Under Master's benevolent protection, I have been cultivating for eight years. Looking back at my journey of cultivation, I feel very grateful to Master, and this gratitude cannot be described with words. On my journey of cultivation, I have felt both happiness and sadness. I felt happy because I was fortunate enough to obtain the Fa and have Master during the Fa-rectification period, and because I am responsible for helping Master rectify the Fa and save sentient beings. I felt sad because sometimes I could not give up my attachments. At times I was not able to devote myself completely to the Fa-rectification or take responsibility, and so I felt that I let Master down.
I thank Master for giving us this chance, so that we can all calmly think about the journey we have made. In the last year, when I devoted myself more actively to Fa-rectification efforts, I gradually understood what it means to be a being who came to the world for the Fa.
Believe in Master and the Fa: A Cultivator Should Not Feel Lonely
I was born into a rich family, and I am the youngest daughter. When I was born, my parents were already old, so they treated me like a princess. In 1998 I went to college. That was the first time I left them, and I lived alone in a strange city. I adjusted to the new environment, but the fortunate thing was that I had a chance to obtain the Fa, and I started cultivating.
After I graduated I stayed in this city, and I luckily got a job that most people long for. During my job hunt, I didn't take any shortcuts (as people typically do). The only thought I had was: If Master arranges for me to stay here, and if it is necessary for me to rectify the Fa here, then I will get this job. When I encountered difficulties during the job hunt, or when I didn't have righteous thoughts, I could feel very clearly that Master was with me and pushed me forward step by step. Through reading the Fa and sharing with fellow practitioners, I strengthened my righteous thoughts, and I believed that I made a right choice to stay here. So, I got this job. I knew that this was because of Master's benevolence and the supernormal power of Dafa. I said to Master in my heart, "Master, I thank you. I came for the Fa. Since you arranged for me to stay here, then I will do my best to perfectly harmonize with your arrangement." It was just like what Master said in Zhuan Falun ("Lecture Four"):
"Our practitioners are not this way, but exactly the opposite. We do not seek what everyday people want. Instead, what we get is something everyday people cannot obtain--even though they want to--except through cultivation practice."
Yet sometimes in my daily life, I still felt lonely. I could not let go of this human sentiment. When I grew up my family was always there with me. Now, alone in a strange city, I felt very pained when my human feelings started to disturb me. Each time I felt painfully lonely, I read the Fa more intensively. Then I read Master's words, "When a cultivator's mind departs from the Fa, the evil will find its way in." ("Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.") I knew that I should let go of the attachment and strive forward diligently.
Master has said in "Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference:"
"During the course of your cultivation, you experience all sorts of human thoughts, all sorts of things involving your self-interest, and all sorts of notions that come at you [to temper you] in every regard, and intertwined with that are irrationality caused by emotion and delusion, and the feeling when you're foggyheaded that it is hard to sever your human attachments. And, in your day-to-day life you have family, society, work, and cultivation to handle, plus the pressure on you as Dafa disciples that was brought about by the persecution and the challenges in every regard due to the persecution."
My situation was just like that. I tried very hard to dispel the notions that I developed in everyday society, but sometimes I just could not, which made me frustrated. At those times, the evil always tried to tempt me with human notions and take advantage of my gaps. Whenever this happened, I would use the Fa to dispel it. I knew that regardless of what happened, I should not let my attachment distract me from the Fa-rectification. When I had righteous thoughts, there was less interference. There is one thing that I am pretty sure about, which is:
"Genuinely cultivate Dafa, Only this is great." ("Obtaining Fa" in Hong Yin )
The Miracles in Clarifying the Truth
With the Fa-rectification going forward, my understanding of the Fa is also getting deeper and deeper. Under the guidance of the Fa principles and fellow practitioners' encouragement, I gradually stepped forward to clarify the truth during my personal cultivation. There are so many sentient beings who need to be saved. Master told us:
"Everything in the world was established and created for the Fa-rectification, and Dafa disciples are the great figures of our time. Since ancient times the beings in all realms have waited in anticipation." ("To the European Fa Conference in Stockholm")
"Many of today's people, especially Chinese people, don't have simple backgrounds." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Chicago")
I felt that it was urgent to save people, but I was not very active in my truth-clarification efforts. My fellow practitioners didn't complain; instead, they encouraged me to go to cities and countries with them to spread the Fa and clarify the truth to people.
We never stopped clarifying the truth, regardless of how harsh the weather was. In the summer I could tolerate the hot weather and bugs. However, in the winter it was really difficult for me to tolerate the cold, since the temperature was often 30 degrees below freezing. One night in the winter a fellow practitioner took three of us on his motorcycle to remote villages to pass out materials. It was very dark and we could not discern the direction we were going, but Master's law body guided us to those villages. We put truth-clarifying materials in front of every house. When we easily finished the last village and were ready to go back, we found there were some additional houses that were scattered along the road. Master has taught us that everybody in the world had been Master's family, so we knew that we could not leave anyone out. We went back and put materials in front of those houses. At that time one practitioner, whose third eye is open, told us that those materials were shining and colorful in other dimensions and that every word was golden. We felt that the cold chill was gone, and we felt very grateful to Master for his constant protection. It was already 1:00 a.m. when we arrived home. The hair of the practitioner, who rode us on his motorcycle, was coated with frost and looked white. Since he was wearing a red helmet, we joked with him and called him Santa Claus.
During this process I realized the great meaning of saving people. Also, I realized that the results would be different if we had held different thoughts. Gradually, my fear of the cold was gone. I was also not afraid of the bad smell in the countryside, which I previously could not tolerate at all. It was not because I forced myself to tolerate this; instead, it was because my cultivation reached a new level. I realized that when my heart is full of sentient beings, I don't pay attention to my own feelings.
Awakening Fellow Practitioners
When I was home with my family, I was the focus of attention. Although I was not too spoiled, I was very attached to my opinion, and I thought that I should be adamant about my opinion if it is right. I brought this notion into my cultivation. When I communicated with fellow practitioners, I only contacted those whose ideas fit my attachments and notions. For those who didn't have the same opinion as I did, I didn't want to talk to them. Master told us, "If you cannot love your enemy, then you cannot reach Consummation." ("Lecture at Australia Fa Conference" All fellow practitioners are family, so we should cherish this predestined relationship. Although I knew this principle, I could not calmly face those practitioners who had hurt my human heart.
During Fa-rectification cultivation, with my understanding of Master's teachings getting deeper, I gradually realized that the attachment to my own opinion had badly interfered with my validating Dafa. This was because there were many Dafa projects that required all the practitioners' cooperation. Since we are all particles of Dafa, if one of us is not in harmony with the group, then the whole group won't be in harmony. I realized that I should not just say, "I listen to Master;" instead, I should carry it out in action. So, I tried not to complain about those practitioners who didn't have the same opinion that I did, and I learned how to look inward. We cultivated away our attachments during the process of validating the Fa together, and we better understood what Master said: "...encourage each other, and progress together with diligence." ("To the Second Dafa Conference in Russia")
Now, when I am like what I was before--attached to my own ideas, instead, I actively talk to my fellow practitioners and share the cultivation experience with them. For those who used to practice, but gave it up, I talk to them patiently and look for their fundamental attachments together with them. For those who are not diligent, I share with them and tell them that we should cherish Master's benevolent salvation, that this is a precious chance at Fa-rectification cultivation. Although the results were not very good at times, I knew that it was because I needed to improve. I didn't complain about them; instead, I asked Master for help. I knew that those practitioners also needed to be saved, and that the meaning of saving them is great and deep.
I once planned to talk to a practitioner who used to be in a Fa-study group with me before the persecution started, but then gave up cultivation. Another practitioner tried to talk me out of it. He said, "Don't bother to talk to him. He is making big money now, so he won't listen to you." I was not moved because I believed that once a person had the chance to cultivate Dafa, he would never really forget Dafa in his heart. I found his cell phone number, but I thought it would be better if I could talk to him face to face. It was a Sunday, so I was not sure if he would be at his workplace. On the way there I kept sending forth righteous thoughts and eliminating the evil in other dimensions. From memory, I got to his workplace. However, I went to the wrong floor. When I was wandering in the hallway, he came out of his office and ran into me. I was so excited that I wanted to cry, because Master is so benevolent. I knew that I should not hesitate any longer. (Of course, I was calm on the surface.) After recognizing me, he was surprised and said, "Do you have something to do here? If you were one minute later, you wouldn't have seen me." I said directly to him, "I came to see you." He was shocked at first and then became serious, "I am very busy. If you have something else, then we can talk. But please don't mention 'that thing'." I then realized that I shouldn't be too direct, so I said, "My friend, can't I come to see you?" The atmosphere became more relaxed. He was not cold anymore and took me to his office. During the conversation I was not moved by his words. While he was talking, I silently sent forth righteous thoughts and asked Master for help. Gradually, I discovered from his words that, deep in his heart, he still believed in Dafa and hoped that he could still cultivate. At the beginning of his cultivation he was too extreme and thought that, if he could not give up his attachments, he would not have a future in cultivation and would not reach consummation. Since he didn't have a correct understanding of Dafa, and since the evil persecution was so overwhelming, he could not stand the huge mental pressure and gave up cultivation.
I recalled the precious period of personal cultivation that we had together, but he said that he could not remember those things. I told him that it was because the evil was persecuting him and further separating him from Dafa. I told him that he was very warmhearted and very responsible when we studied the Fa together. He smiled. Then I recited the poem "Waking up the people next to you." He cried after that. Before I left I gave him Master's new articles, and I encouraged him, "Master is waiting for you, and all the sentient beings are waiting for you. Please read Master's lectures about Fa-rectification; then you will know how fortunate you are. Please trust yourself, and we all trust you."
Later, I heard that he read all of Master's new articles in one evening. He cried when he read them. Later, he came back to cultivation, and he kept improving himself. He soon caught up with the Fa-rectification. With his help, another former practitioner, who was in our Fa-study group but left, also came back to cultivate.
I realized that we should not quickly make judgments about whether someone is able to cultivate. Our judgments don't count because every life is watched by Master, although there are also personal factors. What we need to do is to cherish Master's benevolent arrangements and fulfill our vows made before history.
Fulfill Our Holy Responsibility with Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Action
Having a stable and big income, my comfortable life made me slack off at times. While reading the Fa, I recalled the vow I made to Master one year ago. After the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party was published, I felt that I had more responsibility. I came here for the Fa, so my life is meaningful only if I assimilate to the Fa. Thus, I should devote all I have without any hesitation.
So, I rented a house. Other practitioners bought a computer and printers, and we set up a small materials site. I knew that I should set higher requirements for myself. For me, the technical aspects were not a problem. I needed to pay attention to upgrading my xinxing during this process. At the beginning I was very confident, but then the printer didn't function, regardless of what I did. I checked all the steps again and again, but it failed again and again. So, I started to worry that it would interfere with fellow practitioners' cultivation if I could not print out Master's new articles and Minghui Weekly. I worried that it would interfere with saving people if I could not print the truth-clarifying materials. I thought, "I cannot even handle such a simple operation. What should I do?" I was exhausted and almost crashed.
While looking at Master's picture, I knew that my heart was not very pure. So I put down everything, and picked up my Dafa book. Master's teaching was like a stream in the desert that nourished my heart. I enlightened all of a sudden: How could I do well if I was so attached to myself? I worried about this and that. Actually, it was all because I tried to cover up my deep attachment to the fear of getting hurt. Master encouraged me, "The Fa-rectification will definitely succeed, and Dafa disciples will definitely succeed." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference") So what I am doing should definitely succeed, also, because I am not trying to validate myself, but am validating the Fa. When I enlightened to this everything became smooth, and I became calm. I was not worried or did not feel happy about this or that. I clearly understood that this is my responsibility, and that all of this is given by Master and Dafa. All I need to do is to walk along the path, which has been paved by Master, without any hesitation.
I still have many attachments and I still have difficulties in spreading the Nine Commentaries to people and in convincing people to quit the Party. But I believe that, during Fa-rectification cultivation, I will do well and will walk well the rest of my path. The great Master has given us the chance at Fa-rectification cultivation. This has enabled me, who used to be a spoiled girl, to become a mature Dafa disciple in the period of Fa-rectification. With fellow practitioners' help and encouragement, I am improving myself. Now, I thank Master and my fellow practitioners.