(Clearwisdom.net) Teacher says:

"A Dafa disciple should put the Fa first in everything he does--whenever you evaluate something you have to consider the Fa first. You probably remember something I've said to you often: a Dafa disciple should consider others first in everything he does. Whenever something happens or whenever a situation comes about, even if it's a minor thing, my first thought is of others, for it's already become natural for me--I just think of others first." (Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston)

Looking back at why I was persecuted, it was because my thinking at critical times was always selfish, which was a manifestation of my Xinxing at the time. It was also out of selfish motives that I felt obliged to step out and validate Dafa. As there was selfishness in my validation of the Fa, there existed "fear" and loopholes, and the result was naturally not good. My loopholes were taken advantage of by the evil factors, and I was illegally arrested. A person who considers others first will not have fear in their heart while clarifying the truth.

When I was persecuted and beaten, my thoughts were selfish, I failed to treat myself as a practitioner and forgot that Dafa practitioners are supernormal. I regarded the persecution as simply human beings persecuting other human beings, without any righteous thoughts. Because of my selfishness, other practitioners were also persecuted. In the face of the policemen's evil acts and verbal abuses, I was not calm and was not at all in a state of "no complaint nor hatred," but rather reacted with anger and bad thoughts. My endurance was that of an everyday person. I didn't behave according to the principle of "Not striking back when beaten, not swearing back when sworn at" which Teacher taught us. I was "transformed" in the labor camp. Although I was not completely lost, I only passively endured. Many who are not "transformed" also passively endure. Of course, to me, those who have not been "transformed" in the labor camp are marvelous, as it is not an easy thing to achieve.

Since coming back home from the labor camp, I took a hard, inward look at myself. I had lots of attachments and a human mentality. I cared too much about myself and had inadequate faith in Dafa. How could an ordinary individual deal with the evil system's weapons, torture and shackles? I forgot the power of righteous thoughts of a Dafa practitioner and treated the whole matter with human thoughts and ideas. I didn't take the Fa seriously and cared little about the fact that I wrote the so-called Three Statements ("Statement of Regret," "Statement of Guarantee" and "Statement of Intent," all of them renouncing Falun Gong). I didn't have a clear understanding of the Fa.

Only when I came back from the imprisonment did I understand that one's thoughts at critical times decide the fate of whether or not one's corresponding cosmic system stays, whether they can enter the future, and the whether the countless beings within can be saved. How can this not be serious? But, I only came to realize this after I fell behind and made big mistakes.

The fundamental reason was that I didn't study the Fa enough, and didn't study the Fa with a pure heart. Teacher says:

"The Fa can reveal all attachments, the Fa can eradicate all evils, the Fa can expose and dispel all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Deter Interference")

Another factor was my negligence in cooperating as one body with other practitioners. I didn't associate with anyone else and did whatever I wanted. I understand now that if a particle breaks away from the whole, it will naturally weaken, furthermore, the whole body would become weakened as the evil factors from different dimensions carry out persecution towards us as a whole. Only when there is strong cohesion and good cooperation among one another as one body can the magnificence and power of Dafa manifest.

I will do well with what I am supposed to do, so as to not let down Master and His compassionate salvation.