My Experiences Getting Rid of the Attachment to Fear
(Clearwisdom.net) In recent years, the banners we've hung have been seen in the mountains, along many roads, and on many buildings. We regularly distributed truth clarification materials in the surrounding areas. While doing these things to save sentient beings, we keep on studying the Fa, and my attachment to fear grew weaker and weaker. Suddenly one day, I felt the substance of "fear" leaving me.
I obtained the Fa in 1996. At the very beginning, although I was determined to cultivate, I didn't study the Fa well. I was afraid of the physical pain of the sitting meditation and the second set of exercises, "The Falun Standing Stance Exercise." I was not diligent in my cultivation. Teacher was very compassionate to me and created a very good cultivation environment. I found the practice site so I got up every morning to join the group exercises. The energy field at the practice site was very powerful. When I felt tired while doing the second exercise, I looked at other practitioners. They were very focused and no one gave up. I pushed myself and eventually I could finish the second exercise. The thing that benefited me the most was our nightly Fa study, where we could share our experiences and help improve each other's xinxing. Gradually my attachment to fearing tribulation and pain was gone. Doing the sitting meditation wasn't painful anymore; instead I felt very relaxed and enjoyed it.
On July 20, 1999, when I first heard about the persecution of Falun Gong, I was confused. With such a wonderful Dafa and such a great Teacher--our Teacher purified my body, taught me how to be a good person and return to my true self; yet the perpetrators rampantly slandered them, and confused people by distorting the facts. In order to speak out about the innocent Falun Gong practitioners and tell the facts about Falun Gong, I boarded a flight to Beijing with other practitioners to make a peaceful appeal to the government. Just as we arrived at Tiananmen Square, the police arrested us and sent us to the Beijing Sports Stadium. There were many practitioners who had gone to Beijing to appeal. Beijing Sports Stadium was full of illegally detained practitioners. We recited the Fa together, and the righteous field greatly strengthened me. My fear was restrained. With righteous belief in Dafa and Teacher, I returned home safe and sound.
Though the Chinese Communist Party kept escalating its efforts to persecute Falun Gong and practitioners, and though the news of practitioners being detained has never ceased, practitioners still keep on appealing to the government in a peaceful way. I witnessed the practitioners' firm will and their determination. It encouraged me. I improved my xinxing through studying the Fa. With several fellow practitioners, I got on a train to Beijing. I was a little afraid, but it didn't stop me from telling the facts about Falun Gong. The police checked passengers on the train very closely and we were arrested. As we were escorted back home, we didn't stop clarifying the truth about Falun Gong to people. The fear was less when we were clarifying the truth of Falun Gong. Once again, I made it back home safely.
I studied the Fa carefully and found that I still had a strong attachment to fear. I've been to Beijng twice. On the surface, I had shown no fear. In fact, I still had an attachment to life and death. I wasn't afraid in Beijng because there were so many practitioners with me. Because I had left this loophole, I was caught and sent back. I missed my chance to realize what I wanted to do.
In May 1999, Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Australia" that:
The most difficult test for people, the test that must be passed during cultivation practice, is to let go of life and death. Of course not everyone has to be confronted with the test of losing his life, but it's not entirely impossible that this will happen. When each person faces his own most difficult test, when he is tested to see whether he can let go of his biggest attachment, he is in fact being tested on whether he can let this go. If he is able to let go of life and death, he is a God; if he is unable to let go of life and death, he is human. Of course, being able to let go of life and death doesn't equate to actually dying - the purpose of cultivating is to remove human attachments.
I realized that I hadn't stepped out of the notions and attachments of ordinary people. To be able to step out, I had to study the Fa well. With Teacher and the Fa, I can do it.
The persecution was getting much more brutal, but it didn't slow down my studying the Fa and improving my xinxing. My attachment to fear was less and less. I made up my mind that I would go to Beijing and unfurl a banner that said, "Falun Dafa-Truthfulness, Compassion and Tolerance" in public.
With a very pure righteous mind, I effortlessly arrived at Tiananmen Square. There were many people walking around, and guards at two sides of the Square. I had no fear. The sole purpose of my being here was to display the banner, and nothing else could interfere with me. I successfully unfurled the banner under the watch of the guards. The moment the banner was unfurled, my attachment to fear disappeared.
Though I sometimes fell down and didn't do well on the path of cultivation, with Teacher's help, I stood up again. I helped to set up a group Fa study, and a home-based material production site.
November 22, 2005