(Clearwisdom.net) I knew in the past that I should act according to Teacher's words and not otherwise; but as time went on, when my righteous thoughts were inadequate, I still committed wrongdoings even when I knew clearly that they were wrong. I realize now that what Teacher has taught us is the Fa - not ordinary people's instructions or orders. Only when I understand the Fa well can I have sufficient righteous thoughts.

For instance, Teacher has taught us to endure. The leaders of my work unit often criticized me, and when it got to be too much, I couldn't bear it anymore. Actually they criticized me for two reasons: One was because of my competitiveness; the other was because of my reluctance to hear unpleasant things. I used to take some measures to please them and sometimes deliberately made them feel that I was not at all happy with them. The results often turned out to be negative.

I had a bad temper, with a reluctance to endure any test. I dealt with problems as if I was not a practitioner. Due to inadequate Fa-study, I was unable to view them as a practitioner. This was, in fact, my resistance to deal with my own tribulations.

I understand now that the reason the "True Insanity" method is applied to those who are lost in the maze but with missions in the human world, is to let them endure many hardships so that they can be purified and quickly return to their origin. In the eyes of gods, whoever endures more hardships and suffers more tribulations, is in fact being taken care of by gods, and the gods are actually good and kind to this person. Using everyday people's ways to deal with those who are unkind to me could not solve the problem, and even when it appeared solved, my own karma was still there, as I had neither upgraded my xinxing nor improved my understanding of the Fa, so the tribulation would occur again.

I read a story about Teacher before. Teacher once bought a bowl of noodles at a restaurant and found it too salty. Teacher then told the waiter very gently that it was a bit salty, but the waiter turned very angry and blamed Teacher. Teacher didn't say a word and ate his noodles quietly.

Before, I couldn't let go of my anger inside and complained about those around me who were unkind and treated me unfairly. I feel so light now, as I have a true understanding of the Fa at a certain level and anger has been replaced by forgiveness.