Enduring Thousands of Years of Hardship to Fulfill the Grand Wish in This Life
(From The Second Mainland China Internet Experience Sharing Conference)
(Clearwisdom.net) First of all, I would like to express the highest regards to our compassionate Teacher.
Greetings to all fellow practitioners, especially overseas practitioners. You have done a lot! I want to say thank you.
Recently I read "Call for Papers for The Second Mainland China Falun Dafa Practitioners Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference on the Internet," I decided immediately to share my cultivation experience with fellow practitioners.
The title of my article is:
"Enduring Thousands of Years of Hardship to Fulfill the Grand Wish in This Life"
I began to learn Falun Gong in June 1997. Although I had quite a few physical illnesses, my motivation to learn Falun Gong was not for health improvement. Rather, I was interested in cultivation. I studied the Fa and practiced the exercises very diligently. I read the books whenever I could. When reading was not possible I listened to the Fa recordings. I showed up on time and stayed through all the group study and practice activities. My mind was full of Dafa. When I learned that Teacher began to teach Dafa in 1992, I felt quite upset. Why didn't I know of this? I regret that I started late. I told myself to be very diligent on the road of advancement.
I did not feel any supernormal phenomena in my cultivation, but I could feel Teacher's care and hints all the time. I could tell that Teacher was with me all the time, to encourage me to be more diligent.
Sudden Change of Environment
In 1999, the evil Communist party began to persecute Dafa. On July 21, I went to the Shanghai City government building to appeal for Falun Gong, along with some fellow practitioners from Shanghai. After I got home that day, the government agents began to follow me around the clock. Everywhere I went, two people would follow me closely. Under such high pressure, my husband was very angry and depressed. Two weeks later, his troubled heart stopped. I was extremely sad. But the level of police monitoring did not diminish one bit.
During the painful days following my husband's death, I realized that as a cultivator, nothing I encountered was arbitrary. Teacher's Fa was in my heart, but when I suffered from anguish I still could not let go of my emotions.
In Zhuan Falun Teacher said,
"Human beings live in delusion and just cannot give up these things. Some people cannot let go of their sons and daughters and claim how good they are, and then they pass away. One may speak of how good one's mother is, but then she also dies. This person grieves so much that he almost wants to follow her for the rest of his life. Why don't you think about it? Aren't they here to torment you? They use this form to make you unable to lead a good life."
When I read this paragraph, my heart felt a shock. Teacher's words touched my heart deeply. Why did I come to this world? Now our [my husband's and my] human relationship is over, why do I torture myself with this never-ending agony? I began to read the Fa and do the exercises routinely. I also shifted my attention away from the past. Soon I passed the emotional test that his death had caused.
In the days that followed I encountered the evil many times. With Teachers' compassionate protection and fellow practitioners' support, I was able to pass the tests with a righteous mind.
Some authorities attempted to force me to write the three statements to renounce Falun Gong. When I refused, they threatened to send me to a brainwashing program. If that didn't work, they said they would imprison me. For many days I was thinking of what to do. First of all, I would never compromise. But should I leave home or stay? If I leave, then my two-year-old granddaughter would have no one to care for her. My children and other relatives would have wrong views about Dafa. If they disparage Dafa, they would make karma for themselves. If they committed crimes against Dafa because of me, then I hadn't done my best to protect Dafa. How could I bring salvation to them? I chose to stay! I have done nothing wrong by cultivating in Dafa, therefore I should have the courage to face the bad people and clarify the truth to them.
During that time, every day, four to six people from the district 610 Office came to my home to push me to give up Falun Gong. I discovered that many of these people still had some kindness in their hearts. Some even believed in God and in the principles of retribution. Two staff members from our residential office told me, "Why don't you pretend to have changed and tell a lie? After that you go home and prepare several dishes and offer them to your Teacher. You could buy some fruit for your Teacher and say 'I am sorry.' That way our boss will let us off the hook. In the future, if they ask us to identify a Falun Gong practitioner, we will find someone else. This time we really can't think of a better idea."
I said, "No way! If you are off the hook, then I am on the hook. Cultivating Buddha Fa is a most serious matter. I cultivate 'Truth, Compassion, Forbearance', and I can only tell the truth and do the honest thing. How dare you ask me to tell lies? Wouldn't I be wasting my time in cultivation if I lied? What have I done wrong? You may think you are doing me a favor, but your proposal will destroy me. Forget about it!" Having realized that they could not change my mind, they left quietly.
Assisting Master as he Journeys in the Human World
I have been trying my best to do the three things well. In the early days, truth clarification materials were not as readily available as they are now. I downloaded articles from the Minghui/Clearwisdom website and made copies using my fax machine. Then I distributed the papers to the public and to some fellow practitioners. I distributed the materials wherever I went.
After the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party was published, I began to distribute the VCD version of the book. During this time I experienced many risky situations, but always came out safely. When I handed out the VCDs there were people around and sometimes, even police. But they didn't seem to notice me. I realized when rescuing sentient beings that our hearts should be pure, with righteous thoughts and righteous action. Then the evil won't dare to persecute us.
Earlier this year I heard a message. Jiang Zemin lives in Shanghai like an emperor, and entertainers are called to his house every day to perform for him. Each time, only one actor (actress) was allowed in to entertain him alone. Jiang lives in a big luxurious house at 153 Yuqing Road. I discussed this with several fellow practitioners, and we considered going near his house to send forth righteous thoughts. Even though we did not make it, we heard that other practitioners went. Not long after they began sending forth righteous thoughts, an emergency medical van rushed in.
I decided to go there by myself to send righteous thoughts. I also planned to distribute VCDs there. I encountered great interference. When I tried to ride my bicycle there, I had a flat tire the minute I left home. I have had this bike for three years and have never had any trouble like this. It has only ever needed a refill every six months. I filled the tire with air, but it went flat right afterwards. I could not find any place to fix the tire. All I could do was to push the bike. Fortunately, I could still distribute the VCDs. I knew that the dark minions and the evil spirit did this to interfere with my effort. I told myself that it doesn't matter what I do, I will do my best to accomplish my duties.
The front gate at Jiang's house has no place for VCDs, so I distributed the VCDs nearby. I realized that this is a battle between the good and evil. Our VCDs are created by Dafa. They are living beings with great power. Their effect in other dimensions must be huge.
Teacher told us,
"You are doing things entirely out of your enthusiasm and your understanding of Dafa. Those things appear to be quite simple and seem to have nothing earth shattering about them. Yet I can tell you that the things that seem mundane on this ordinary human side might be truly dramatic in the realm of your cultivation--a realm that you can't see. (Applause) In other words, you shouldn't consider your [Dafa] work so simple." ("Teaching the Fa at the Assistants' Fa Conference in Changchun")
I pay special attention to sending righteous thoughts. Sometimes when I missed the times I blamed myself very harshly. Every time I do this, I treat it as a holy war between gods and demons. Now, in addition to the daily four designated times, I added three more times each day. During discussions with fellow practitioners I found that some of them did not treat sending righteous thoughts as an important task. I became quite worried about their lack of understanding. After more exchanges, some of them changed their thinking and are now putting emphasis on it.
I still have many attachments and shortcomings, but when I suffered from demonic interference or tribulations, I could always remind myself that I am a practitioner and a Dafa disciple of the Fa rectification period. I could look inward to find my own faults and cultivate myself. My eight years of cultivation brought me many things. My report today is only a summary. If there is anything not right, fellow practitioners, please correct me. We have not reached the destiny of our path to validate the Fa. I sincerely hope all Dafa practitioners can ensure their best efforts in doing the three things well. Watch out for our safety, keep our righteous thoughts and righteous action, and fulfill our grand, pre-historical pledge.
Written on October 28, 2005