Walking Away from a Debilitating Phobia (Photo)
(Clearwisdom.net) Zheng Yongru is an attractive and sweet woman who teaches the art of flower arranging. From looking at her and listening to her, it's hard to imagine that several years ago she suffered from a severe phobia. She had lost her ability to work and couldn't even take care of herself. Her erratic life was like a monster. She held only fear and darkness in her wounded heart.
Zheng Yongru surrounded by some of her flower arrangements
Falling into the Abyss of Fear
When Yongru was young her family ran a business. They were a big family who helped each other. Yongrun grew up happy, in a warm environment. The only thing she worried about was her parents' health. It turned out that this worry became the root cause of her fear and panic disorder later on. When she graduated from elementary school, her mother passed away. Because Yongru was very attached to her mother, she often cried after her mother died. The fear of sudden death and of the unpredictability of life quietly took hold in Yongru's mind.
When Yongru was thirty, she developed problems with her digestion and suffered from excess gas in her abdomen. It was very bothersome. She couldn't eat or sleep well. The doctors couldn't find the source. She tried different treatments. Once when someone pressed on her abdomen with a finger, she felt even worse. A month later, Zheng Yongru couldn't even walk. She would feel dizzy and she felt like vomiting every time she got out of bed. With the onset of her illness, Yongru's anxiety disorder was getting worse, too. Her childhood fear of being sick and worries about her poor health eventually made Yongru suffer from phobia.
Searching in the Dark
According to medical research, the underlying reason for any phobia is still unclear. Patients usually seem fine from outward appearances. Their minds, though, harbor lots of negative and strange thoughts. Yongru said when she found herself in a crowded place, her heartbeat would accelerate and she would have a hard time breathing. She felt that everybody was staring at her and she would have the fear of death. This feeling troubled her greatly. Those deviated thoughts were so severe that none of the medicines she took to ease her suffering had any effect. During any treatment, whenever Yongru felt any doubts or any unpleasant feelings about a doctor, she would experience all kinds of negative thoughts and therefore the treatment would lose its effect.
Two, three years passed like this; her condition improved a little. Yongru tried to adjust her body and started learning some health-improving exercises. Because her mother once tried acupuncture when Yongru was young, she decided to go to Guangzhou Chinese Medicine School in Mainland China to study for three years. In this peaceful and uncomplicated environment, and due to her focus on her studies, Yongru's condition stabilized and she became certified as a Mainland China Acupuncture physician. However, after she returned to Taiwan she suffered a relapse of her illness. By then, besides teaching flower arranging, Yongru also accepted group treatment work from hospitals. Nevertheless, her condition worsened and she often suffered from intense fear that seemed to come out of nowhere.
When Yongru's condition had become hopeless, a friend one day loaned her a book, which miraculously opened all the shackles of her fear.
Precious Help Leads to a Promising Future
Yongru explained, "This book is Zhuan Falun. When I was done reading the first chapter, I thought, "Let me take a break after the second chapter." But when I was done with the second chapter I wanted to know what the third chapter was about. The more I read, the more excited I got..." Yongru doesn't like to compete with anybody in her daily life and she was indifferent to many of the selfish concerns that people worry about. She was really happy to read the fourth chapter, about "Loss and Gain": "So I read the whole book without interruption. After I was done with the book, I really wanted to start cultivating in Falun Dafa and wanted to learn. To me, though, the most challenging thing was to have the courage just to take the bus to go to the practice site to learn..."
A Falun Gong practitioner who was teaching in the Economics Department of Taiwan University at that time always encouraged Yongru to study the Fa and do the Falun Gong exercises. That practitioner called to invite Yongru to participate in Fa study and always checked in with her when she returned home. Miraculously, almost all of Yongru's symptoms of phobia disappeared. Three or four months later, she had almost recovered and was like a normal person. And now, when the memory of the severe phobia is brought back, it is almost like a dream.
When Zheng Yongru started to learn Falun Gong, the most striking thing to her was that it teaches people to examine their own minds during conflicts. She found Falun Gong to be an extraordinary type of qigong and decided to continue the practice. Her anxiety disorder was dramatically reduced.
Within several years of cultivating in Falun Dafa, Yongru is a complete different person. She is open-minded and confident. Yongru shared her aspirations: "After beginning cultivation practice, I was so surprised and happy that my phobia disappeared without any medication. But what I'm most happy about is because of Falun Gong practice, I have understood lots of things and have gained solutions to problems that I couldn't find the answers to before. It also made me realize the true purpose for being human. I think the reason I would recommend Falun Gong to you is not so much because Falun Gong cured my illness, but because Falun Gong can make your life even more beautiful!"
When Zheng Yongru's story was made known, many people suffering from phobias called her and asked how they could be cured. Ms. Zheng told them, "The book Zhuan Falun says, 'matter and mind are one thing.' Thoughts are also material existence. When you think good thoughts, there will be less bad substances in your body and you will feel relaxed and happy."
Yongru emphasized that Falun Gong is for cultivating the heart and mind rather than for curing illness, though it is also good for health. One can only accomplish the improvement of one's health by improving one's xinxing.