(Clearwisdom.net) Toward the end of 2000 I traveled from Singapore to Tibet to spread the Fa. Tipped-off by secret agents planted in the monasteries, the authorities arrested me. My passport has since been confiscated, and I have been going from place to place in China. In September 2002, the National Security Police (NSP) and other officers arrested me again, this time in my apartment in Shanghai. Afterwards I was subjected to systematic brainwashing, intimidation, coercion and deception for almost six months. I am writing down my suffering so that more people will know about the evilness, hypocrisy and inhumanity of the persecution toward Falun Gong and Falun Gong practitioners.

When I was released, the NSP said to my family members, "We are civilized and follow the law. We didn't touch a single one of her fingers. See how nice we were to her?" I can't help shivering when I think about the evil methods the NSP used to implement the persecution. Indeed, they never used any corporal violence on me. But their methods were even more evil - like killing without shedding blood! They used different approaches, such as providing a special setting, talking to you, threatening you, and depriving you of sleep. These psychological pressures were very effective in creating an illusion of being isolated, frightened, and helpless, all useful in their efforts to try to coerce the detainee into cooperating with them after a psychological collapse. Then they would seize the opportunity to try to "make friends" with you. In other words, after cornering the person into despair they would take a step back and try to move him with false sympathy, hoping the person would be grateful and give in to their ideology. Later, when I saw the essay by Taiwan practitioner Lin Hsao-kai, who had been entrapped and persecuted by the Shanghai NSP, I saw that the methods were identical.

One evening in September 2002, a fellow practitioner and I were reading in a room when suddenly there was pounding on the door. A gang of policemen broke into the room, ransacked the place and took everything away. Afterwards we were taken to the Shanghai Minhang District Police Station. When we refused to have our pictures taken or tell them our names, three or four policemen pushed us against the wall. They brought out instruments of torture and took our pictures against our will. The second day, another gang came and took us to another place. Along the way my head was forced down. I tried to raise my head several times, but it was always pushed down again. Only later did I learn that we had been taken to the Minhang Branch of the Shanghai NSP.

As soon as we entered, we sensed an evil atmosphere and intense pressure. What the Shanghai NSP usually does is try to frighten you as soon as you arrive. They want you in a state of dreadful anticipation while you are psychologically unprepared. Then they take turns interrogating you without letting up. The purpose is to pressure you further while you are extremely tired, frightened, and psychologically unprepared, and to create an atmosphere of fear and isolation that makes you believe that you may be subjected to brutal torture at any time without anybody knowing it. It is done to destroy your spirit from the very beginning. Then they will take advantage of your fear and go from there.

As soon as I arrived, a group of people took turns talking to me nonstop. They forced me to confess and deprived me of sleep for an extended time. Because I had not been allowed to sleep, in addition to having expended so much energy the previous day at the police station, I was very tired and couldn't help closing my eyes from time to time. As soon as I closed my eyes, they would yell angrily next to my ears, "No sleeping!" When I went on a hunger strike they yelled at me, "Don't think we will be intimidated by your hunger strike! We have tons of tricks. You fast, we pour. Heard about Xiong Wenqi? Held a hunger strike for two years and still hasn't been released!"

In the evening they sent a man and a woman to threaten me and try to force me to confess. I was so tired that I was almost unconscious, so I can't recall that scene very clearly. But their ferocious faces and violent roars have been imprinted in my brain. Besides subjecting me to intense psychological pressure, their goal was also to get me to reveal the things they wanted to learn while I was completely exhausted and mentally unclear. During the first three days they kept on saying, "You could be released within seventy-two hours if you improve your attitude. We have no choice but to keep this up. It is all for your benefit." One reason they did this was to keep up the extreme pressure. The other reason was to keep on tempting me, in the hope that I would tell them what they wanted to learn. Three days later they told me that since my attitude was not good, I would be transferred to a detention center.

When I entered the detention center, I was again interrogated late at night without getting a chance to rest. They turned on all the spotlights and directed them at my face, trying to create a tense and frightening atmosphere to pressure me. Taking turns interrogating me, not letting me sleep, and otherwise psychologically pressuring me were the tricks they used to try to destroy my will. They told me, "If we make you stand on your feet like this for another night without any sleep, there's no way you will be able to stand it!" It is clear their claim to be "highly civilized" was a complete, shameless lie. It's just like beating up people without leaving any marks and saying, "See how nice we are; we are curing your disease." The tricks were so insidious that probably only the Communist Party could or would dare to use them.

They always used "the law" as a cover to force me to admit that I had broken the law. During my one-month term at the detention center, they pretty much avoided the issue of Falun Gong but ordered me to "confess and tell" about what I had done and whom I had contacted. Their real purpose was to verify the information they had already obtained and to discover more leads. Later I saw an essay by Lin Hsiao-kai, whom they had also persecuted, that said at that time he couldn't figure out how the NSP knew that his old email account had closed a year before and all about an experience sharing paper he had written in the past. The essay explained that that information is in our computers, and after we are arrested the NSP breaks into our computers. That is another trick of the NSP. They try to create the illusion that they are everywhere, are able to do anything, and know everything, hoping that you will tell them whatever you know while you're scared to death.

I remember they once declared, "We NSP are different from the Public Security Bureau. The Party and the people have given us top authority. Your falling into our hands is your luck. When it comes to our friends, we'll treat them like friends. When it comes to our enemies, we will attack them harshly. As for members of the Falun Gong, we'll get rid of them one by one!" If it was something I didn't want to talk about, they would tell me what they had learned beforehand, trying to trick me into telling them more. By then I was very aware of their deceptive methods, but due to a lack of righteous thoughts and total exhaustion, I used an ordinary person's approach to deal with them and kept on speculating about what they already knew and what they didn't. If it was something I thought they knew I'd talk about it, otherwise I'd stall them. I didn't completely nullify the old forces' arrangements. As a result I let the evildoers take advantage of my shortcomings, and they continued their brainwashing and persecution.

During this time they also ordered me to talk about the reason I decided to begin practicing and about my experiences, and what I had learned from cultivation. I first thought that they really wanted to hear what I had learned and gained. Only after a while did I figure out their true intention. One was to discover the names of people they didn't know about or other information, so as to uncover more leads. Their other goal was to study my personality, psychology and characteristics so that they could come up with ways to deal with me. They also carefully analyzed my way of dealing with other people, my temperament, my characteristics, etc., hoping to find a loophole to take advantage of. They also kept speculating about my thoughts and state of mind based on my words, facial expressions, and my body language so that they could "cater" to me and fine-tune their approaches, trying to catch me off guard and fishing for what they needed. They also kept asking me about the Falun Gong situation in Singapore. By then I had been away from Singapore for a long time and wasn't clear about the situation there at all. So their probing questions, contrary to their wishes, made me see more clearly the tricks they were playing.

There were a few other times when they tried to bluff me, asking since I knew of the TV signal interception incident, why I didn't tell them. Their pressing desire to win political credit and seek rewards was completely exposed. Preventing Falun Gong practitioners from overriding TV signals would be a huge political coup for them and probably lead to a promotion, so of course it was something they had desired for a long time. Unfortunately for them, I knew nothing about it.

They would also sow discord among practitioners. For example, they would tell me from time to time, "So and so has already been reformed. That person has mentioned your name. Only you are the idiot. So and so didn't treat you as a friend. That person bypassed you and contacted so and so alone; obviously he didn't think highly of you." One time, trying to make me feel isolated and helpless, they told me, "Look at yourself! You've been here for such a long time. Who cares about you? Who has made a phone call to you?" Many tricks like these were used. In short, they used whatever tactics they could think of to destroy my psychological resistance. Of course, all those tricks were nothing in front of a genuine cultivator.

After a month, they transferred me one more time to a Shanghai brainwashing class, which is known to the public as the Shanghai Legal Knowledge Education School, located at 7936 Waiqingsong Street, the Qingpu District. It is at the foot of Sheshan Hill.

Later I understood that the reason they sent me to the brainwashing class was their conviction that only after my brain was totally "washed" would I be willing to give up Falun Gong from my heart and would therefore hate Falun Gong. After that, they would be able to manipulate me.

One "session" of the Legal Knowledge Education School brainwashing classes would last from two to three months. If the practitioners refused to give in, they would be illegally subjected to reformation for an unlimited time or they would be directly sent to the labor camps. Some practitioners would be sent to the labor camps after almost every session. On average, from 30 to 50 practitioners would be forced to participate in each session. The brainwashing sessions followed a military management style and were completely segregated. Each "student" had one "aide" and a "companion aide." Most of the aides were selected and transferred to the brainwashing classes from other judicial organizations such as jails and labor camps. Most of those aides from the lower levels of the judicial organizations had little knowledge of the real situation of the persecution of Falun Gong. They also believed the state-run media's rumors and slander from Mainland China. Some of them secretly approached individual practitioners and frequently asked for the facts about Falun Gong. Actually, after being thrown together with these aides, I felt that they were also victims of the persecution. Because they had been so closed off and isolated, and bombarded by Communist Party propaganda for such a long time, they were thoroughly indoctrinated. These people were totally and profoundly hoodwinked.

The evildoers were most probably afraid that those "aides" would get to know the truth of Falun Gong after prolonged contact with practitioners. Such contact would prove disadvantageous to the reformation efforts, so they would change these aides periodically. The "companion aides" were female police station employees. In addition, the National Security personnel in charge of our cases would come daily to assist in "reforming" me. At the meantime, they also tried to study and figure out my mindset in order to come up with their next plan to ensnare me.

These brainwashing sessions sponsored by the Legal Knowledge Education School are very expensive, with each session costing large amounts of money. The funds generally come from two sources: the majority from tax revenue that the common people have paid into both the local and the central government financial systems, and the rest is extorted from the practitioners' previous work units at the time of their arrest.

The daily expense is 100 yuan per person. Because personnel from the National Security Bureau arrested me and sent me to the brainwashing sessions, they covered the first few months' expenses. In the following months, after my family knew where I was, the perpetrators became aware that my family was afraid that I would suffer too much. These evildoers, therefore, played on that emotion and passed the expenses on to my family members. I remember they said to me once, "In order to 'save' you, we have expended so much manpower, physical resources, financial resources and energy. In the future, we will never do such a thing any more!" On another occasion they boasted to me, "Is it true that you feel that you are very great, because so many of us are around you?"

Afterwards I understood that the firmer I was, the more evil energy I attracted. As a result, more and more people from the National Security Bureau would gather around me. Later I realized this was a temporary representation. If I could really remain unmoved and indestructible at that moment, the evil would give way. Jiang's regime spent so much money just to persecute one practitioner! There are nearly 100 million practitioners in China, how much money will they need to persecute all of us? In order to persecute Falun Gong, Jiang's regime does not hesitate to use one quarter of all the country's resources to set up brainwashing centers, labor camps and jails in every area. The regime has spent large amounts of money on monitoring networks and telephone calls. The enforcers dispatch huge numbers of agents (spies) into the international society and to buy the cooperation of third world countries with huge loans. To do all this, they have sabotaged the entire national economy to the point of complete disaster.

As soon as practitioners enter the building where the brainwashing classes are held, their movements are restricted to one cell, including having meals and relieving themselves. The "assistant" and "companion" aides monitor them 24 hours a day. The practitioners have no freedom. Inside each room are three beds, one TV set and one desk. The TV set is used exclusively to play videos that slander Falun Gong. Every morning and afternoon, videos that slander and attack Falun Gong are played repeatedly, and practitioners are compelled to watch and listen. The desk is for practitioners to use to read the articles that slander Falun Gong. They also try to coerce the practitioners into discussing their daily individual experiences. By doing this and listening to their conversations, the enforcers were better able to understand the practitioners' thoughts and the effects of the brainwashing, so that they could plan the next brainwashing step. Living with these lies and threats in a totally closed environment in these brainwashing sessions put enormous spiritual pressure on practitioners. These chaos of daily threats and denouncement continued for a long period of time.

All day long I was compelled to watch the videos and read the brainwashing materials that slandered Teacher. When I refused to cooperate they said, "Before you could read many Falun Gong books. In here, you must watch and read these. You have no choice. We must thoroughly wash your brain!"

After I pointed out that all those materials were lies, they then stopped forcing me to read them. Because they believed that it was impossible to reform me this way, they adopted another strategy. They coordinated with the Shanghai Brainwashing Class and formed an eight-member assault team that barraged me day and night. They also found some so-called legal and religious personnel to talk to me. They wanted to exhaust me and would not let me sleep. Once they found any fault in what I said, they would grab the chance and attack me, hoping to reach their goal of reforming me.

They kept telling me that Falun Gong was a cult, and when I questioned on what their criteria was, they said that it was based on the international standards. I asked them, "If that was based on international standards, how come Falun Gong is welcomed all over the world, but not in China?" They were speechless.

Earlier, because I was busy working on Dafa projects and did less Fa study, the evil took advantage of my deficiencies. My ordinary person's side started to despair after going through endless "reformation." I did not know how long it would be before this "reformation" would come to an end. I was unable to endure the painful persecution and did things I deeply regret. Out of severe mental anguish and suffering, I thought of committing suicide several times. What remained of my rationality, however, told me that if I committed suicide, the evildoers would use this to demonize Dafa. Besides, Teacher also pointed out that it is a grave sin to commit suicide. Hence, I am still alive today.

After suffering about four months of brutal brainwashing, I was released. But that was not their real goal. I sensed that their purpose was to have me be their spy and provide information for them. I confronted them and asked, "You aren't intending for me to be your spy, are you?" Possibly they themselves also thought it was overly evil, because they did not mention this matter any more, instead emphasizing that I "redeem myself through good work."

When I was released for the second time, I once nearly broke down, because I really could not bear that I had betrayed Dafa and my own soul, although deep inside I had never forgotten Dafa. I actually did what I despised the most. I was unable to withstand this kind of shame. In the first several months after I was released I lived like a walking zombie. My soul was carrying a heavy burden. In the middle of the night I would be so disheartened, bitterly crying until I was numb. I deeply recognized the evil spirit of the Communist Party. It really attempts to thoroughly destroy one's human nature, morals, sense of justice and conscience. Its goal is to destroy one's definitive personality and dignity.

Fearing that I would change my mind and in order to finally use me, they ordered me to work in Shanghai after I was released. After that, they unceasingly barraged me to converse with them, claiming to befriend me. But that entire time I always maintained a distance from them. They once said, "Since you are out, you have never shown any appreciation for the Communist Party; instead, you have some sort of hateful demeanor." Then I totally understood. The real reason they released me was to let me show my appreciation to them so that they could manipulate me. They believed that, normally, when a person was pressured by enormous fear and isolation, if the person were shown even a little bit of kindness, he or she would feel grateful and thank the Communist Party for its generosity. This person would then be easily duped and could be made to work for them. This is a standard tactic for the CCP.

When I just came out they also wanted to give me money. I could not understand why at that time, but I knew to refuse them without hesitation. In retrospect I realized that their real purpose in giving me money was not to help me to solve my difficulties, but to win me over. Had I taken their money, they then would have totally manipulated me.

They also once told me how "well" they had treated Lin Hsiao-kai. They had even let him eat KFC and McDonald's. No other government facilities in the world could compare with them, they claimed. I only felt it was funny. If, before one person is going to murder another, this future murderer first treats the future victim to a banquet to "soften the blow" and then kills the victim, does this banquet excuse the fundamental nature of the murderer? These techniques used by the Chinese Communist Party indeed cannot be found in any democratic country in the world. The CCP makes up the laws as it goes and uses legal pretense to do things at will.

Later I found a good job far away from Shanghai. I was able to read articles on the Minghui website (the Chinese version of Clearwisdom) daily and was far away from my tormentors. After unceasing study of Teacher's new lectures, I slowly recovered from the deep mental scars and continued working on what Dafa practitioners are supposed to do. A year later, under Teacher's merciful protection, I finally was able to leave China and write down this personal experience, so that more people will have an opportunity to understand the kinds of lies, violence, and catastrophes the Chinese Communist Party is obscuring as it tries to project a positive, open, and peaceful image to the rest of the world. After more than five years, the Party's persecution of Falun Gong is so vicious, wide ranging, and cruel that it exposes once again the true side of the CCP and the real stories hidden by the false prosperity as staged by the Chinese Communist Party.

I hope that anyone who still has a good conscience clearly recognizes this persecution and the evil essence of Chinese Communist Party and will help end this persecution.