Jealousy Was the Reason
(Clearwisdom.net) One year ago, a female practitioner 'A' (who is a few years younger than me) and I went to another city to study networking techniques. Practitioner 'B' taught us the techniques. He was very patient and meticulous while he taught us.
After leaving this city, 'A' and I went our separate ways. Since we needed more help on techniques as well as some goods, I occasionally contacted practitioner 'B', though 'A' always went to the city where 'B' was living to buy office materials. I felt a little that 'A' was not clear-minded enough. Later, 'A' was sentenced to a labor camp by the police.
After more than one year, I returned to the city where 'B' is living. When I mentioned 'A' to 'B', 'B' said, 'A' always contacted him, so they became affectionate towards each other, which created a loophole for the old forces. I talked a lot about how 'A' was not good. After 'B' left, I could not settle my heart down. I reminded myself that I have to cultivate my speech.
Later, when I met 'B', we talked about 'A' again. I again could not forbear and said something about how I did not like 'A'. I started to think about myself as I lay on bed that night: why did I always have a conflict with 'A'? I looked inwards, and found that I had not enough tolerance. I was satisfied with coming to this conclusion, so I didn't think any further.
The second day, I went to a practitioner's home with 'B'. While I chatted with 'B' on the bus, I thought about 'A'. If 'A' had affection for other people instead of 'B', could it disturb my mind, would I be so indignant? The answer was no.
Then the problem must be me since I have affection towards 'B' too. So when I said something bad about 'A', what kind of mentality did I have? "Jealousy" was loudly spoken from the bottom of my heart. I realized that it was jealousy that caused me to not like A, and that the key to my problem was that I had been trying to cover up my attachment of jealousy.
In addition, cultivation practice is serious; Fa-rectification cultivation is even more so. Practitioner 'A' developed irrational affection towards practitioner 'B'. As a result, she was persecuted by the dark minions of the old forces. I should learn a lesson from 'A' and warn myself not to wallow in my affection towards 'B'.
Right now, I think of 'A's merits. She learned the computer quicker than me; she was more at ease than me when we handed out flyers together. It was jealousy that covered my eyes, so that I couldn't find A's merits and only focused on her weaknesses. After going through this, Master's edification is more important in my heart:
"A wicked person is born of jealousy. Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself. A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion. With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy. An enlightened person has no attachments at all. He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions."
(Essentials for Further Advancement--"Realms")