A Lesson That Will Never Be Forgotten
My name is Ma Yuxin. I went to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong. The third time I went, I was caught and escorted back to the detention center where I was detained for thirty nine days. Because I refused to give up Falun Gong, I was sentenced to one year term in Masanjia Forced Labor Camp.
Because I wasn't really cultivating during Fa study, and I was only paying attention to the surface and didn't let the Fa become deeply rooted in my head, the evil found an omission in me. While in Masanjia Forced Labor Camp, those who went along the stray path told us that we had all succeeded in cultivation, and that there was no need to continue cultivation or study Fa. Though I was reluctant, I accepted this path of evil enlightenment. As Teacher said in article "Suggestion,"
"These people have relatively large amounts of karma and they have fundamental attachments to [things of] humans, so in the midst of absurd lies during the so-called 'reforming,' they have, in the interest of their attachments and to justify their behavior, gone along with the lies and willingly accepted evil 'enlightenment,' while pretending they didn't want to. If this kind of person then goes and deceives other students, he will have committed the sin of damaging the Fa. All who have been supposedly 'reformed' are people who couldn't let go of their attachments to [things of] humans and who stepped forward with the idea that they might be lucky."
This was exactly my behavior when I went to appeal in Beijing. I did it because I hoped that I could get lucky and not get caught. That is why after arriving at Masanjia Forced Labor Camp, those words from the traitors fit into my own thinking, and I accepted the so called "transformed."
After being transformed, I completely became a tool of evil. I helped the evil plot the persecution against Dafa practitioners. Zhou Guirong is a steadfast Dafa practitioner from the same second cell in the third group of the second Women's Team. She believed in Dafa and refused to be transformed. Using whatever means such as injecting evil thoughts, cursing, beating, depriving of food, and having her husband to influence her using human sentimentality, nothing could change her righteous belief in Dafa. The evil ran out of ideas and we became helpers for the evil. We made Zou Guirong stand in a low posture position with both arms raised parallel to the ground; we also made practitioner Su Juzhen who was transferred from the first department and very steadfast to stand with her body bent and her hands touching the ground for whole day; and we made Zhang Guiping hang face down between the upper and lower bunker beds so that she was completely floating. I remember that when Zou Guirong refused to be transformed, I beat her once. When Su Juzhen collapsed on the floor I tried to pull her up and she couldn't get up, so I kicked her twice. I lost all of my humanity. Because of my active participation in assisting the evil with persecuting Dafa practitioners, I was released for home six months earlier.
After coming home, I cooperated with the local "610 Office"(1) in setting up brainwashing sessions, and participated in two sessions, forcing Dafa practitioners to write the "Three Statements.(2)" I did what the evil couldn't do, such as attacking Dafa and attacking Dafa practitioners' righteous beliefs. I remember when the Tiananmen Self Immolation Incident happened, I cooperated with the evil "610 Office" and attacked Dafa on the TV, radio, and the workplace. Teacher said in the article "Suggestion": "Those who are spreading evil 'enlightenment' under the guise of Dafa students are, regardless of whether they were students before, doing what demons who damage Dafa do."
A practitioner who came out of Masanjia Forced Labor Camp visited me in May 2000 and showed me Teacher's new article which said being transformed is wrong. Due to many reasons, including becoming ill after being transformed, my husband having an affair while I was in Masanjia Forced Labor Camp, and my leaving the Fa and not living up to Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance, various degenerate thoughts came back to me and I didn't hold up my xinxing (moral standard). I fought with my husband, cursed at people, and filled for divorce. My xinxing had completed dropped and I become an everyday person. During that period of time, I felt great pain. Finally, under Teacher's hints, I decided to cultivate again.
I am a person who attacked Dafa. Every time I read Minghui website and I see greatly inspiring cultivation stories of Dafa practitioners, I burst into tears. I had my hands full of sins and am not pardonable. Even for a sinful person like me, Teacher still gives me a second chance, benevolently looking after me. I thank Teacher for giving me another chance, allowing me to fall down many times and pull myself back up again and again, which has made me mature in my Fa rectification period cultivation. From now on, however challenging my cultivation path may be, I will walk through the last part of my cultivation with my righteous mind.
Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.ca/mh/articles/2004/7/30/80624.html
I was arrested while distributing truth materials on the evening of March 20, 2002. Right before sentencing, a person returning from Changchun City came to me who had gone along the path of evil enlightenment. Under her lies, I went along with the evil enlightenment, and I thought that my truth-telling activities had violated Teacher's requirements for us. So I wrote the so called the "Three Statements" -- "Repentance Statement (3)," "Guarantee Statement (4)" and "Dissociation Statement (5)." Because of that, the court scheduled a second hearing for me and let me go home after 132 days in detention. After returning to everyday society, everything seemed to return to normal on the ssurface, but my connection with Dafa was severed. I stopped practicing or studying
the Fa. I was becoming more and more aware of my betrayal to Dafa and other Dafa practitioners. I felt ashamed of myself, the pain in my heart was increasing everyday. Benevolent Teacher helped to reopen my sealed soul, and brought me back to Dafa cultivation. Because of my insufficient study in the Fa, I was therefore taken advantage of by the evil, and I weakened my righteous belief in Teacher and Dafa. My mind was controlled by the evil and I wrote the so called "Three Letters" and other materials. I now formally declare all those statements against Teacher and Dafa null and void. From now on, I will uphold my righteous thoughts and do the three things instructed by Teacher, striving to become a qualified Dafa practitioner in the Fa rectification time. I will do more to make up for the losses I made to Dafa.
Li Wenhui, July 29, 2004.
Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.ca/mh/articles/2004/7/31/80686.html
(1) "610 Office" - an agency specifically created to persecute Falun Gong, with absolute power over each level of administration in the Party and all other political and judiciary systems.
(2) "Three Statements/Letters" -- Practitioners are coerced under brainwashing and torture to write these as proof that they have given up their belief. Created by the "610 Office," the Three Statements consist of a letter of repentance, a guarantee to never again practice Falun Gong, and a list of names and addresses of all family members, friends and acquaintances who are practitioners.
(3) "Repentance Statement" - In this statement the practitioner is forced to admit remorse for practicing Falun Gong, promise to give up Falun Gong, and never again associate with other practitioners or go to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong.
(4) "Guarantee Statement" - A statement to declare that he or she is remorseful for practicing Falun Gong and guarantees not to practice Falun Gong again, not to go to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong, and never again associate with any Falun Dafa practitioners.
(5) "Dissociation Statement" - A statement to declare a dissociation with Falun Gong and promise not go to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong.